What should one do when your most loved husband does something beyond imaginatio

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   sriparnaposted 13 years ago

   What should one do when your most loved husband does something beyond imagination to hurt you?
   
   I have recently had a very unpleasant conflict with my husband, which has emotionally drained me completely. I feel like being on the brink of breaking up, very depressed. How to get over it?

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2. 61

   amsmovingposted 13 years ago

   I believe the most important thing to think about is whether the situation and the argument is truly worth breaking up over. And then you should think about all the things you love about him and all the things you hate about him and if the hates out weight the loves then I would seriously consider reevaluating the relationship.
   
   Also, ask your husband what are some of his issues with you and if there is a way for you to fix them. Then you should tell him some of the issues you have with him and how he can fix them. Truly listen to each other when you both talk, don't cut each other off. Let both parties fully communicate their feeling and hurts, and don't be so quick to force your point across think about compromise between the both of you over getting your point across. Most often couples are so bent on getting their point across that all it succeeds in doing is only cause a bunch of arguments.

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3. 60

   jdomingoposted 13 years ago

   Talk it over with him, give yourself time to accept what he has done and ask yourself if you deserve to continue to be in the relationship with him....then forgive him...not for him but for yourself, forgiving him will allow you to put closure to the incident and allow you to move on, if you don't forgive him it will only continue to drain you emotionally as well as physically.  What is done is done and can not be taken back or undone so there is no point in dwelling over something you can not change.  Do it for yourself is what has always worked for me.

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4. 60

   MythiliKposted 13 years ago

   I am so sorry to hear about your depression.
   
   When we are depressed, we always have self pity and think we got hurt and never have patience to think back whether we did anything to fuel the argument or unconsiously added to the problem.
   
   So, let your mind settle down first. Then recollect the issues. If you feel there is a small percent of mistake is from your side, then don't feel bad to ask a sorry. This may melt your husband and make him to come up with his own sorry or opinions.
   
   Even if not your mistake, you can start with "Sorry that we had a bad conflict" and can try to explain your points in a soft manner, if you value your relationship.
   
   Breaking is always easy, but successful relationship lies in the hands of those who can forgive each other.
   
   Cheer up.

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5. 61

   avoiceofone18posted 13 years ago

   People make mistakes, conscious and unintentional, and the end result is generally hurt or pain. Only you can determine if you can live with what he has done. Determine what is most important to you, if it is something you can live with and he understands his responsibility for correction, forgive him and move forward. If it is not, forgive him anyway, thank God that it was not you and do what is best for your dignity and peace of mind.

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6. 58

   dawnMposted 13 years ago

   what amsmoving said is very true about getting the point across very well said.
   
   one thing that I have to say is if your husband did something that has hurt someone else or is in any way no legal then, leave it to the law.....
   
   If he has done something to hurt your feelings and it is a one time event, and out of his normal personality, then maybe something is going on with him that you need to talk to him about.  did some recent event hadpened that may have caused this.
   The most important part of all of this is you and how you feel about yourself, being depressed is not going to resolve anything, so if you are truly depressed and really thinking about leaving the marriage talk to a counselor, especially if children are involved.  figure out a way to help yourself move in a more positive direction.  See if your huband will go to counseling with you.

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7. 61

   medorposted 13 years ago

   Deal with it, don't sweep it under the rug.  If you two don't have the communications skills to talk it out, go to a counselor.  Deep hurt takes a long time to heal, just like if you were in a car accident.  If your spouse will not go to a counselor, go yourself.

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