My wife cheated on me and I dont know if I can forgive her

1. 57

   bruce991posted 13 years ago

   My wife cheated on me and I dont know if I can forgive her
   
   My wife cheated on my with someone she works with I confronted here and she said she would stop well she did not stop and I caught her again... Now she has stopped because I track her every move. I consider my self a nice person and I have average looks. I constantly tell my wife how much I love her and I do my best to take care of all her needs. We have fun in bed and I know I make her cum because she is the type of girl that you know she had fun almost like you know a guy did. What do I do. I'm beside myself and I love her so much this has almost killed me. I have two sons and i'm trying to

   replyreport
2. 62

   prettydarkhorseposted 13 years ago

   Well you don't need to follow her around, she will do it if she want to. You have to ask her what is really wrong in your relationship. At one point, you have to ask yourself if you can constantly live by it and you can accept what she is doing, if not then it is time for you to think about yourself.   And don't blame yourself for what happened, even if you do your best, this things happen, and it is not your fault, it just happen.
   
   I hope she will change. Concentrate with your children and don't stress yourself too much, but you have to work on it the two of you. Give her a chance to prove herself. Healing starts with acceptance. Even the most beautiful, richest and nicest people can have this experience. Good luck!!

   replyreport
3. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting.
   The fact that you did not file for divorce or walk out on her proves you have forgiven her on some level.
   
   However you no longer "trust her". There are 6 traits found in every happy relationship and trust is one of those.
   http://hubpages.com/hub/therecipeforrel … phappiness
   
   
   It takes a long time to build up trust again after there has been a betrayal. In all honesty it is the person who committed the betrayal that should be doing all they can to reassure the person they've hurt that it will never happen again.
   In other words you should be seeing efforts on her part to bend over backdwards to EARN back Your Trust.
   Instead you state you "caught her again".
   
   Is she sorry she hurt you? or Is she sorry she got caught?
   Are you trying to forgive someone who is not seeking forgiveness? You mention you have "average looks" as though that may have contributed to your wife cheating on you. If looks were that important to her she never would have married you!
   
   I suspect the two of you have not come clean about what took place and (why it happened). You may want to try couples therapy to get to the bottom of it. One thing is for sure you can't spend the rest of your life tracking her, reviewing cell phone records, quizing her on her whereabouts, or making her prove she has nothing to hide. Eventually she'll walk away from that type of police state existance.
   
   As I said earlier it's up to the person who betrayed you to "volunteer" to do whatever it takes to "Earn Your Trust".
   If you are the one making demands that she does it, in my opinion that's an indication she isn't being "proactive" about wanting to heal the relationship. To forgive someone without honest contrition on their part is setting yourself up for future heartaches down the road.

   replyreport
4. 75

   Levertis Steeleposted 12 years ago

   You cheated on God; should He forgive you? Better yet, have you ever cheated on your wife? Do unto your wife what you want God to do unto you, and accept the consequences. If you can never trust her again, your marriage may gradually go downhill. Pray for healing, both of you.

   replyreport
5. 52

   rocko hunterposted 10 years ago

   Make her feel special. And make her realize that no one in this world can love her as much as u love her. And some times trust her and let her realize that you have forgiven her for everything what she did in her past.

   replyreport
   1. 53

      mypoorinuposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      What I think is that, when you decide to marry somebody you are supposed to have that feeling of absolute love and devotion for that somebody where there is never any room for the possibility of playing them down, or letting them down, because, no ma

      replyreport
6. 73

   Harishprasadposted 10 years ago

   Do you know why we are attracted to someone, something or any activity ? If we find some traits in others that we cherish ourselves or that we admire in others, we get attracted to such  guys. We cling to things that we are very fond of ourselves. In the like manner, we like to be engaged in the activities that give us most satisfaction. So keeping these in mind, confront your partner  boldly and extract out the juice of philosophy thriving in her mind.  Ask her in clear words why she is distracted time and again and why she is not enjoying your company with satisfaction and mirth. If she unveils herself and wants some efforts to be needed on your part, try your best to come clean on that front. At the same time, spread out your wings also. Tell her in clear words what you need on her part. Then mutually draft an action plan and fixed a time span for that. Go through it and see the results, tangible as well as abstract like rejuvenation of feelings, jest for life, swelling of affection and love etc. If you attain success even if a little, thanks your stars ! You are going to win the battle. If in spite of all this, status quo remains and coldness continues in your relations, it is but apparent that you are not made for each other and God has other plans for both of you.

   replyreport
7. 49

   padmendraposted 10 years ago

   It's very painful when someone you love cheats on you.  If you are sure about the matter that your wife deliberately cheated on you, you need to take the help of a mediator who is known to you both to take a decision.. I would suggest not taking any step before you properly listen to your wife. The   relation between wife and husband is very sensitive and thus try to solve the matter with the help of a mediator.

   replyreport