Is there such a thing as being "too honest"?

1. 59

   RJ68posted 12 years ago

   Is there such a thing as being "too honest"?
   
   I was always taught to tell the truth; no matter how hard it is.  So I practice honesty wherever I go.  I also expect it from other people no matter how it comes to me.  I've been accused of being too direct so I try to implore use of tact.  But nonetheless, the truth still comes out.  Is there another way to be truthful?  Please advise.

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2. 60

   Susie and Ottoposted 12 years ago

   RJ68:
   As you indicated, it is all in how you communicate your truth.  Are you being honest in a way that makes other people wrong, "bad," or somehow inferior?  Even if this is not your intention, it could be that the way you express your truth gives this impression and this can lead others to withdraw from you or get defensive.
   
   Pay closer attention to how you tell your truth. Remember that what is true to you might not be the same as what is true to another person.  Ask yourself if there are other ways to look at the same situation.
   
   By all means, keep listening to yourself and honor what feels true to you.  When you communicate, however, ask yourself if there is a way you can speak your truth that won't shut down, negate or push away the other person.  This will encourage the other person to really hear you too.
   
   Best Wishes,
   Susie and Otto

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3. 59

   RJ68posted 12 years ago

   Thank you for reminding me that truth is relative to the person telling it.  I appreciate your feedback.

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4. 40

   alisha4uposted 12 years ago

   An old saying "Honesty is the best policy" !! Good to see that you still believe in that...
   Understand that being truthful is just being truthful...
   If you've been grown up this way.. you would stay like this forever... So, no need to change it..
   
   You're always appreciated  and accepted for who you are .....

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5. 85

   Gemini Foxposted 12 years ago

   Yes. But there is not a black and white answer to this question. As Susie and Otto point out, the "truth" is subjective in many instances.
   
   Would you walk up to a total stranger and say, "Wow, you really have a huge nose. I honestly think that you should get some plastic surgery!"  Barbra Streisand happens to like her nose and it has become part of her persona although I believe people early in her career wanted her to "fix" it.
   
   Alcoholics need to be told they have problem, sometimes very bluntly, and that honesty may encourage them to get help. However, there are lots and lots of alcoholics who are aided and abetted every day by family members who cover for them.
   
   Would you tell your married friend if her husband had an affair that you knew he really regretted and would never repeat if you knew that it would break up their marriage (assuming she thought she was happily married)? Telling her may be your version of honesty but may actually cause an enormous amount of unnecessary pain.
   
   And the examples could go on and on . . . Sometimes it's a tough call.

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6. 68

   Adamowenposted 12 years ago

   I think if someone doesn't share their opinions on a subject matter and has to lie and cover up then they are undoubtedly selfish. IF someone has a problem they need to be put straight not patted on the head and let off.
   
   I may sound a tad radical but being 19years of age in the generation, I see this all the time. Truths should be told no matter what scale they are on, always be honest and don't fool yourself into believing that what they don't know won't hurt them because sooner or later you will lose out.

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7. 88

   mistyhorizon2003posted 12 years ago

   Is there such a thing as being 'too honest?' We bring up our children to believe lying is wrong and we should always tell the truth, but in reality sometimes I believe we can be 'too honest. This article explains why sometimes lying is okay. read more

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