The real question is; "Why do you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you?"
The underlying definition of a "soul mate" is connecting with a person who wants what you want and feels as strongly about you as you do about them. Naturally this would mean if the relationship ended with a breakup or a divorce SOMETHING changed for one of you. Someone decided his or her life would be better off without the other person in it. If you don't want to be with someone or they don't want to be with you then I would say you are not soul mates.
It's human nature to romanticize our past or have "selective memories" especially if we have not found a new love. You just have to be willing to let go of the past, open your heart to receive and give love to another person.
The only person you can control is yourself! If your wife has moved on it's time for you to do the same. (Love yourself) enough to know that you deserve to be with a woman who WANTS to be with YOU! Best of luck!
The thing is I've got 2 beautiful kids, an I don't want a broken home! I've not been the best of husband, I've cheated I've lied, but that was 4 yrs ago, she doesnt trust me now, I don't blame her, but I've changed, jus any lil thing brings back
Dolce786, Keep in mind each of us gets to have our own "deal breakers". Maybe cheating is on your wife's list. She may not want to gamble on you again. All you can do is be loving towards her, the kids, and not push things. The ball is in her court.
There isn't enough information aside from the generic question to really give you "tailored" answer to it.
I agree with dashingscorpio, "Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?" Trust me, I have been there and I wanted someone back, my husband, and looking back on it I am kind of ashamed I was like that. Its degrading yourself. You are worthy of someone and you are worthy to be with someone that WANTS to be with you.
Everyone over generalizes the soulmate issue but I do believe that they exist just that we get caught up in situations like yours, spending too much time looking at the door that closed and not the window that opened. Or looking behind us instead of seeing that someone that is meant for us is standing in front of us. And trust me, been there too, I was just lucky enough that after 15 years he walked back into my life, and I learned my lesson, I won't be looking anywhere but right in front of me so I don't miss a chance to be with soulmate.
Dashingscorpio ir right that the soulmate wants what you want and feels what you feel, and it won't stop either. That's one reason we were able to figure out on our end that this wasn't like everything else...we may never be anything but friends but I still have my soulmate in my life in some capacity. Walk away from the past and stop looking at something that obviously wasn't mean to be.
I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I am not someone to sugar coat something to not hurt your feelings, I tell you what I think as nicely as I can. Truth is, you are so busy wallowing in this breakup that you aren't healing from the hurt to move on to something else, you can't grow as a person and can't be good for yourself (let alone someone else) if you don't do that.
We always look back at think of only the good things, we forget the bad or how the relationship wasn't making us happy. We think we won't find anyone that did this or that...truth is, we broke up for a reason. So take advantage of the time you have single and work on the person you are. Love yourself and respect yourself and learn how to find that inner strength and peace that you don' tneed anyone in your life at all...but you can enjoy and benefit and give something back to it if you do end up in one.
Good luck and I truly am sorry things didn't work out...if anything, heal from it....move on...and maybe you can be like my first husband and I are...we are really close friends.
Thank u for ur comments guys, I no ur words r the truth, but my heart want let me move on, I'f I'm to heal I need to move away and start again, she's taken everything from me, my kids, my house, I don't wana start all over again, I feel suicidal
by Jason C Jean 10 years ago
I've often said, the issue of being afraid to come out of the closet, is because you don't want to lose a loved one, a family member who might stop loving you because you are gay. I've also said, WHO CARES! Happiness is what you need in life. This thought of family, family, family... is just so...
by akhilkarun 14 years ago
How should we love and care for others? Should we love them more than we love ourself or should we mind our business first?!
by american13 8 years ago
How do you deal with "feeling disliked by others?"I just feel like people instantly do not like me at times and I have zero luck with females.
by dashingscorpio 10 years ago
Have you ever used sex as a negotiating tool in your relationship?Some couples have been known to use sex as a bargaining chip to get other things they wanted from their mate. "If you do what I ask you might get (lucky) tonight." sort of thing.
by williearl 8 years ago
How do you trust your wife after she lies over and over and blames you for why she constantly lies
by Lady MJ 12 years ago
Why do men look for porn or images of other women when they have a nice looking wife?
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