Desperate to remember! How?

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   peeplesposted 11 years ago

   Desperate to remember! How?
   
   I'm missing entire years of my life. I have been since my teen years. This wasn't a big deal when the only thing being lost were childhood memories. Now though I have begun to lose adult or late teen years. I remember almost nothing from college. I've pretty much lost the majority of my prechildren years at this point, with just fragments here and there. How do I stop memory loss and regain what's already lost?

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2. 68

   JMcFarlandposted 11 years ago

   While I'm unsure of the specific methodology involved in regaining past memories, I would like to share a word of caution.  I, too am missing chunks of my memory from my childhood and late-teen years, but I have a suspicion as to why.  Those years of my life are not pleasant ones for me, and while I would like to have a fully regained memory, I'm also a little afraid of what regaining those memories would entail.  The human brain often blocks out memories that were painful and/or traumatic in another fashion, and I would only recommend striving to regain those memories under hypnosis (or whichever method you choose) if you're prepared to deal with the potential emotional consequences that may accompany them.

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3. 68

   L.L. Woodardposted 11 years ago

   Peeples, that must be frightening to continue to lose chunks of memory. I think that something this important and ongoing is best dealt with through a competent therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can assist you in getting to the root of the issue and work towards the loss of memories.
   
   I wish you the best in your journey.

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4. 84

   wychicposted 11 years ago

   I'm not a professional so I can't speak with certainty, but I think a lot depends on why you're missing the memories. For instance, people can lose memories due to neurological conditions such as Alzheimer's, or through psychologically traumatic events, or through damage caused by accidents or substance abuse. Each of these can cause profound changes to your memory, but the methods for retaining and/or regaining the memories would change drastically. I'd say that's definitely something that should be brought up to your doctor; a family doctor can assess the situation, and refer you to the appropriate specialist for your unique situation.

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5. 61

   IDONOposted 11 years ago

   I agree with everything that these other guys say. I would like to add the process of elimination. I'd first find out if there is something physical or chemically wrong with your system. If you honestly now, or in the past, haven't had problems with substance abuse, you can discount that. Then counseling of some sort. After those have all been discounted, then look deep inside yourself.
        The mind is a very complex thing. Without your help, it has ways to protect itself from damage or destruction which these bad memories can cause. I read your profile and it sounds like you've not had an easy go of it. But after discounting all the practical reasons for this phenomena, you should possibly re-visit your commitment to being agnostic. Maybe this whole thing is the proof you need as an agnostic, to believe in something greater than yourself.
        I'm not trying to sell you a bill of goods that you don't want to buy. But for you to have resolve in your life, you will have to be open-minded and explore every possibility avenue.
        There has to be a "why". You just have to find it. By letting us in a little is certainly a good start. Hope you find your answer.

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6. 93

   LongTimeMotherposted 11 years ago

   Peeples, please go to the doctor and get them to run tests to make sure you don't have a brain tumor. I don't want to scare you, but you really need to address this possibility.
   If you do have one, you need to find out quickly. Lots can be achieved and I could offer some advice if you get a positive test, but don't delay. This is the big question you need answered before exploring other options.
   Don't be afraid of the answer. Just go and ask the question.

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7. 61

   Sparkleaposted 11 years ago

   Hi Peeples:
   I agree with comments suggesting to see a doctor as a precaution.  It is a good idea to do so, just to ease your mind.
   
   I can't remember a lot of my childhood either and I remember bits and pieces of college.
   
   However, I have kept diaries since age 11 and a lot of those days are filled in...I have many, many diaries of my life in a bin...which I really need to review.
   
   I suggest for the future, maybe you could keep a diary of what transpires each day, starting now?  Just a thought.
   
   Please keep us posted if you see a doctor.  I am an optimist and feel in my heart you will be okay.  Blessings, Sparklea

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8. 84

   Billie Kelpinposted 11 years ago

   I also agree with the advice here.  My daughter seems to have a similar situation brought on, I believe, by severe emotional trauma. I am always shocked to hear my daughter tell me, when I reminisce about her childhood, that she has no recollection of the events I talk about. We both were in shock when her father left our sweet little, loving family when she was 13.  Only recently is she able to talk about the effects of being a "girl interrupted". 
   
   My daughter is finally going to a counselor after all these years,  and I notice that NOW when I talk about an incident from her childhood, she is more apt to say, "Oh, I think I remember that a little," rather than her usual abrupt,  "I can't remember that." She has, up to this point, been very uncomfortable when I bring out pictures of the past, and I still only do that by subtly hanging a few of only her on the wall.  I am saving everything that included our little family of 3 because I think the day will come when she will be able to look at them with joy.  I know, I've reached the point (after many, many years) of being able to be extremely grateful that I even had the chance to experience that joy at all.  So now I smile when I think of the times we had together and the pictures I see rather than feel the pain of the loss of that.  Of course, it's always there, a bit, but I'm grateful I can feel such joy in having had a chance that many people aren't given. 
   
   As a general view about memory, I've noticed that many of us aren't sure whether a childhood memory is actually our own OR if we remember the situation because it's been told over and over again - like  a piece of oral history. Many of our memories of the past are actually enhanced by our parents repeating them through the years so that what we perceive as OUR memory is actually a description that has been told to us over and over.
   One last thought: Someone once told me that we have two chances in life to have a happy family.  Once when we're a child and then, in our adult life, when we create our own family. If the source of your memory loss is from something traumatic, may you now create the most wonderful memories that far out weigh any memory you've lost. That's the best thing we can do with loss, make it into something extraordinary. Sweet wishes to you.

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