Has gossip affected you personally in your life, that you know of?

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   Faith Reaperposted 10 years ago

   Has gossip affected you personally in your life, that you know of?
   
   I am reminded of the scripture at Proverbs 17:9, "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."  Has this been known to be true in your life, where due to gossip, close friends have been separated?  Thank you for answering.
   
   

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   loveofnightposted 10 years ago

   I personally did not experience this but my brother did, he was dating a young lady for a few weeks that he believed would be in his life for a long time. He later found out that she had too many bad habits that he could not tolerate so he decided to cut the relationship off before it went too far. She on the other hand refused to let him go so she decided to smear his name. She told all of his and her friends that she stopped seeing him because she found out that he has full blown AIDS. Not only did this effect the people around him but the way that they use to treat him changed as well. Even I questioned him and asked him why would he hold something so important from me. This rumor went as far as the work place, you can only imagine how people looked at him from that point on. Of course he had to take her to court for slander and they never got back together.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi loveofnight, oh, I am so sorry your brother had to experience such a horrible ordeal of lies  Well, I am glad he did take her to court!  My goodness, that is extreme.  Thanks for sharing.  Hugs, Faith Reaper

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   PoeticPhilosophyposted 10 years ago

   In a way when people think a way of you when it's completely untrue. I'm a big person on truth so I hate it when people have false-perceptions, and when they talk about you thinking that perception is the truth... Yes, in a way it bothers me haha.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much PoeticPhilosophy for answering the question.  It is also hard when one is misunderstood indeed.

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   CraftytotheCoreposted 10 years ago

   I live in a small town.  I've been here pretty much my whole life.  I can't escape gossip and drama here because my family has been here for over a century.  Many of my extended family members are the biggest gossips in town.  They get delight out of spreading untruths and lies about people.  I guess it makes them feel better about themselves.  I have a motto, if they are picking on me, I guess they are leaving the next person alone.  At least I can handle it.  I've developed very tough skin!
   
   I also think they feel more popular or "appear" to be special in others' eyes when gossiping, as if they have the upper hand.  What I mean is that a few years ago, there was a rumor started in town.  It ended up that it was actually caused by two of my relatives.  To this day I have no idea why they did such a thing.  Since, I've stayed away from many people intentionally for that reason.  They can't seem to see the 2x4 in their own eye...
   
   The second is that arrogance and ego cause people to say things about others on the internet for example.  I was in the hospital two years ago for a week with asthma.  During that time, a relative went on FB and posted that she is sick and tired of my child playing in the road.  It caused a chain reaction.  Then another person said something and another.  So when I came back from the hospital, I had email notifications of these hateful statements which were not true.  I live in the woods off the main road, my son has never played in any road, ever!  It was just this person's way of feeling better about herself by backstabbing me when I couldn't defend myself, being in a hospital bed.  When I did come back on though, she removed herself from FB altogether and told everyone she felt harassed, never acknowledging what she said was a lie.  All I did was make a post asking why she said that, and to please tell me if she ever honestly sees my child in the road for his safety. 
   
   The list is endless.  I could write a book about the rumors and gossip I have to deal with.
   
   The bottom line is that there are 7 abominations of the Lord.  Proverbs 6:16.
   A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among brethren.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, Crafty, bless your heart.  You have endured much at the hands of relatives and have shown yourself a bigger person by your response to such nonsense.  Thank you for sharing and for leaving the powerful Proverbs at 6:16!!!  You have a good heart!

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   The Frog Princeposted 10 years ago

   I'm not sure!  Are you talking behind my back? LOL
   
   The Frog

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      hehehe TFP ... no, well ... just that I did vote for you in one obvious category on the Hubbies : )  Hugs

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   MarleneBposted 10 years ago

   Not me personally (that I can remember), but someone I know ended up being terminated from work because of gossip. The employer terminated the person being gossiped about rather than terminating the gossipers. The rationale was that if the person being gossiped about was no longer in the office, then there would be nothing to gossip about. I wonder what kind of thinking brings that type of thinking into play.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Marlene,  oh my goodness!  How sad and, yes, what kind of thinking indeed?  So those two will probably go on to get rid of more in this manner?  Boy, that is a harsh reality right there and sad as to one's ethics and character ...

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   hfortinberryposted 10 years ago

   When I began to understand the inner motives behind gossip, an end to my own involvement in gossip began and I began to see the inner hearts of people's dire insecurity and need to be embraced by others with whom they might connect.  There are two primary needs that all human beings share:  We want to belong and/or we want to be right.  Well, as social beings, the need to belong trumps the need to be right in many instances and gossip is just one of the convenient ways in which this need is met.  In family therapy, the umbrella term is called "triangling," and simply refers to a situation where when two people are at odds with one another, each will often try to draw a third party into the fray and try to convince them that their position is the "right" one.  In so doing, of course, the other person is disparaged.and is spoken about as being "wrong."  Hereby, a person who is able to label another person "wrong" automatically assumes a position of being "right."    One vital need is thereby met, and the other vital need has been satisfied as well, because by drawing in that third person, there is an automatic sense of belonging  just by sharing an opinionated view of another. 
   When I  began to see all this, the only inner response to gossip is compassion and perhaps a little bit of pity; the only outer response?  To shed light upon the potential thoughts and feelings of the "other."

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      hfortinberryposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I also have been spoken about negatively, particularly, by family who do not understand my love of the Lord.  But that's just persecution, and I don't take that personally.  Loveofnight, I'm so sorry about what your brother had to endure!

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very profound answer here dear hfortinberry!  Thank you so much for such wise insight to gossip.  Yes, we all must take a good look  into ourselves to end such harm to others.  I appreciate you for sharing your brilliant mind here.  God bless you.

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   DDEposted 10 years ago

   I have been affected by gossip  but I let that go a long time ago and had never been awful to those who caused such gossip about me. Close friends have been separated and lost in the process.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hi DDE, I am sorry you have to be subjected to such dear friend.  Yes, close friend are separated indeed by such and possibly forever.  Really sad, when it does not have to be so.  Hugs

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   phillippeengelposted 10 years ago

   Yes. As always, I can't be secluded or isolated from the society because I got to earn a living. People will definitely be envious of others' achievements and abilities, and would spread gossips in order to disparage them. In that way, my close friends have become acquaintances over time.

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      Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for answering, phillippeengel.  Yes, you are certainly right and that is the end result for sure.

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    teaches12345posted 10 years ago

    Faith, gossip is a form of murder as it tends to destroy a person's character. It is so easy to repeat what someone has told you and pass it off as "information".  I hate negativity and try to avoid it, but sometimes I catch myself in the midst of the activity.  Yes, gossip has affected me and it takes time to recover from the damage.  I love your quote of Proverbs, it is so true.  Blessings!

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       Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Dear teaches, wow, you have stated a great truth here of exactly what gossip is indeed!  The tongue is small but can bring much harm to another or can uplift another, it is our choice.  It does take a long time to recover. Blessings!

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    Dan Kutuapiposted 10 years ago

    Dear Faith Reaper:
    I've had a bad experience with being the subject of gossip. It nearly cost my job because all that was said were lies and were someone's envious attempts to suppress me (and my two other team members) because gossiper was concerned about his job security.
    I ignored every gossip and always did good to the gossiper. I never said one bad thing about the gossiper (I even defended him when he was wrong on all occasions). People are different. I twisted gossip into constructive criticism for personal growth. Humility and patience worked for me. Everyone in the workplace and the gossiper himself came to realize overtime that everything said were lies and in the end the gossiper created his own bad image and destroyed his PR in the branch we worked in.
    I got promoted after some time and the gossiper had to relocate to head office to save face.
    Gossip will always exist. I've learnt to put gossipers off with positive feedback. Even when gossip is true I always speak about someone's positive qualities and/or deeds instead. I'm not perfect myself and the best I can do is always be good to others - simple deed but it adds value to someone and that's important to me and should be to everyone as well.

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       Faith Reaperposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Dear Dan Katuapai, I am so sorry about your experience with gossip!  Bless you for being the man you are and truth won out in the end.  I am afraid you are right about it will always exist.  You are setting a high standard and people do notice!

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       Dan Kutuapiposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Faith Reaper, thanks for your comments. Appreciated. Change starts with the man/woman in the mirror. People will not notice if we as individuals do nothing.

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