Does sex, every single day, make marital relations better or worse?

1. 60

   kellysgirlposted 10 years ago

   Does sex, every single day, make marital relations better or worse?
   
   I am looking for overtly honest responses to this question. As a married woman, whose husband has the libido of a 12 year old boy, I have to keep him happy. But I wonder, is having sex daily, really necessary in order to do that? Am I alone? Are there other couples out there, men and women who have sex every, single, solitary day to keep the peace?

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2. 39

   ChristinSposted 10 years ago

   Every couple has different needs in this department.  The important thing is finding a compromise. No one "needs" to have sex every single day.  Couples who are not sexually compatible can run into trouble here because the person who wants more sex and gets rejected can feel hurt and slighted, but on the other hand, the person who feels they "have to" to keep the peace is likely to end up resentful as well. 
   
   In this situation, I would ask your husband honestly what fuels his sex drive.  Perhaps it's a normal, healthy intense sex drive, but maybe he is filling another void in his life with sex? I would suggest that you open up and communicate honestly with him about the situation, especially if you feel it's becoming more of a chore, than an act you truly engage in because you love it.  When it becomes an obligation, rather than recreation, it can damage your relationship.
   
   Many couples don't have matching sex drives and in order to make that kind of marriage work, compromise and genuine listening to one another's needs is vital. Some couples can have sex daily and both love it.  Others may find daily to be a bit much.  Every libido is different, but it should never be out of a sense of "having to do it" - where's the fun in that?

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   1. 61

      Lapseposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      12 yr old? Maybe 16-18 is better? Ha!  But I digress. Christin's answer is good but would add that I suspect that its his way of expressing his love for you and like most PEOPLE (not just guys) we try what works for us until we learn better.

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3. 58

   definitionsposted 10 years ago

   No, having sex daily is not necessary.  Making a person happy is their job.  But it depends on the couple.

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4. 94

   FatFreddysCatposted 10 years ago

   I don't know, but it would be fun to find out.....

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5. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   If both people aren't happy then having sex every day is not going to make the marriage better nor will not having sex.
   There is no "right" or "wrong" in relationships. There is only "agree" and "disagree". The goal is to find someone who wants what you want.
   Sex is very important in a marriage or a relationship that is "exclusive". If two people aren't "equally yoked" generally one person becomes unhappy enough to either cheat or leave.
   If someone really did want to have sex 365 days a year and their mate was content with once a week you'd be looking at 365 times versus 52 times per year! That's a major difference to overcome!
   Having said that when it comes to sex some people have higher sex drives than others. Unfortunately for those who do have high sex drives they aren't able to recognize their mate does not until after they've gone through the "infatuation phase"  of a relationship.
   In the beginning (both) people were looking forward to having sex often. After the "infatuation phase" concludes people revert to their "authentic selves". It's then where you discover who has a naturally high sex drive and who doesn't.
   Unfortunately for a lot of people by the time they discover a major difference in their libido they have become (emotionally invested) or possibly married.
   If someone has the view that sex is for their mate then eventually they'll come to resent it, not enjoy it, and if it's a woman have a difficult time experiencing orgasms. You can work to change your mindset and try to make if fun and look for ways to enhance the pleasure for yourself or you could decide to leave if it's a "deal breaker".  People don't change unless they're unhappy.
   
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have.

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6. 0

   Alen Ostovicposted 10 years ago

   My gf wants to have sex every day (multiple times) and I'm not complaining, but sometimes it's a bit much, not just because I don't want to, but my intimate parts start to ache pretty badly. But your job as a wife is to fake everything, including headaches, etc.. If you're manipulative type, you could ruin his mood by starting to fart in bed, or doing disgusting noises while pretending that you don't know you're doing it.
   
   Nothing ruins the mood like talking about politics and how things are screwed in this world, trust me

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7. 52

   skytreeroadposted 10 years ago

   No, everyday sex is not necessary in a marriage. If a couple is really sexually attracted to each other they may have sex 3x a day. Morning, night, and the occasional afternoon delight. If you are not enjoying the sex the relationship is not healthy. You two need to talk. About. Sex. So, analyze why you are not enjoying the sex. Is it painful, even a little? Are you tired? Is it a very long and drawn out process, or is it just a quicky a day? Making love a couple of times a week with the wowOwow and a quicky here and there is how most of my friends are sexing their marriages. I mean, lets get Dr. Joyce Brothers out and find out what is bothering you about your relationship! You kind of sound like you have no O's while he's just a banging at ya and you're thinking about what your missing on tv. A happy sexual relationship is a happy marriage. My folks did it until their 70's and my mother even remarried. You know she has a sex life. I think you need to figure out why you aren't enjoying sex and talk it out with hubby. Seriously, pull Dr. Joyce Brothers out of the dusty shelves, she was one of the first sex therapists and saved a lot of marriages. Quicky vs. wowOwow is Quantity over Quality. Analyze that marriage, girl. Be honest if it is painful, not stimulating, or what the deal is sexually.

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