Is it ok to read your child's text messages?

1. 61

   missyoverfieldposted 10 years ago

   Is it ok to read your child's text messages?
   
   This is purely a parents decision to make. But should there be a valid reason? Oh and" I pay for your phone" is not what I mean as valid.

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2. 82

   tehgybposted 10 years ago

   I believe that IF probable cause is found to warrant the parent's snooping, then yes. If not, then it is a major violation of privacy that will result in the child's trust being lost. It can then be terribly difficult to regain that trust.
   
   Think of if this way - is it ever okay for your partner to read your text messages? I mean yes, your child is a bit different, but morally there shouldn't be a difference.
   
   Let the child live a normal teenage(assuming there) life. Being over-protective or sheltering the kid will raise just another "millennial" wimp. The same kind that crowd our welfare systems because they have no social skills and don't want to work for anything.

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3. 53

   koreangirl1977posted 10 years ago

   Yes I believe a parent has the right to look at their child's phone especially if they are the one paying the bill. It's your right as their parent to know what is going on in your child's life. I always believe open communication is the best policy. And I always make sure I ask to see my child's phone instead of just sneaking on it. You want to make sure respect and trust is received both from parent to child and vice versa. I would always want my child to feel more comfortable coming and talking to me rather than finding something disturbing on their phone.

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4. 82

   mgeorge1050posted 10 years ago

   I say yes, it is okay to read your child's texts.  As a parent, I feel it is my job to guide and protect my children until they are emotionally mature.  In order to guide and protect them, I need to know everything that is going on in their lives.  If I ask my child how school is going and don't get a satisfactory answer, I dig deeper by speaking with the teacher.  What if a sexual predator was stalking my child on the internet?  Is it more important to respect my child's privacy or check their emails just in case?  I would also like to comment on one line from another answer.  I have no problem with my spouse looking at my texts, as I have nothing to hide from her.  No offense intended, tehgyb.  Everyone has their own opinion and I know mine is no better than any others, just a different point of view.  This is really a tough question as there could be so many variables involved.

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   1. 82

      tehgybposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That's where it becomes important to talk to your children. Snooping isn't going to help anything. If you talk to your children about the dangers of online predators - guess what? Online predators won't be a problem.

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   2. 82

      mgeorge1050posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      That's true, communication is important.

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5. 68

   sassypieholeposted 10 years ago

   Without QUESTION! It should be included in the "binding agreement" they have to sign before they even GET one! Same goes for social media... Kids don't always plan ahead–that's our job! ;-)

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6. 74

   brakel2posted 10 years ago

   My children and I were close, and had a good relationship. I would have no reason to read their text messages. It depends on the relationship. If a teen has gone astray, and you cannot trust him, I would rather have him give up his phone, until you can trust him. If you read every teen's text messages, regardless, this is being a helicopter parent. If you allowed a younger child to have a phone and text, you could tell that child you might read them once in a while as part of the privilege of having a phone. This is a very complicated issue in our society with so much technology available to our youth. I think every parent must be careful with such decisions to maintain a healthy relationship with a child and allow him privileges when he is ready.

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