Should I be mad?

1. 59

   Shay Lposted 9 years ago

   Should I be mad?
   
   It has been a few months since my SO (significant other) and I have seen each other. Every time we are supposed to do something, he always cancels because he has a busy schedule.
   Today is Valentine's Day and we didn't get a chance to spend time together. Should I be mad that I haven't seen him in awhile?

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2. 39

   ChristinSposted 9 years ago

   I don't know about mad and I don't know how far apart you live, but in most circumstances I'd say that shows a relationship that is not on a solid foundation.  In true relationships the partners make time for one another.  If you are unable to be a priority for months at a time; I would rethink that relationship and find someone who is better suited to you.

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   1. 59

      Shay Lposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      We live 45 minutes away from each other now. At first, we lived two hours away because I was in school. Then, I came back home. & I haven't seen him since I've been home.

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   2. 39

      ChristinSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      45 minutes is not that far. It sounds to me this person is making excuses and perhaps is not committed to the relationship. When my current husband and I met we were 2 hours apart saw each other weekly.

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3. 75

   mathsloverposted 9 years ago

   I am sure that if this was the other way around he would be acting up and willing to leave you. This seems to be a unhealthy relationship, you are willing to do your part but he is not meeting you half way...i would be mad but i would start acting like him and show little interest

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   1. 59

      Shay Lposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the advice.

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4. 79

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
   - Oscar Wilde
   If someone can't find any time to spend with you they don't think you're all that special. If someone believes you are "worth the effort" they will "make the effort."  One man's opinion!
   Having said that everyone is entitled to have their own "deal breakers" as well as their own traits they desire in a mate or for a relationship. If you're not upset don't allow others to tell you how you "should feel". Life is a (personal) journey.
   There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them as (is) or move on.
   People only "change" when (they) are unhappy!

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   1. 59

      Shay Lposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the insightful advice.

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5. 0

   AC-DCposted 9 years ago

   I would hate to speculate; but it sounds to me like you may be standing in line for his attention. Red flags everywhere. I would be getting to the bottom of this issue before getting in over your head. His busy schedule could include a wife and children?

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   1. 67

      Lady Guinevereposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I so agree with you on this!!  Red flags everywhere.  It is best the YOU make the next moe and move on with your own life.  There are many other people waiting for the right onw.

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   2. 59

      Shay Lposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      He isn't married, but he does have a three-month-old daughter.

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   3. 67

      Lady Guinevereposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It doesn't matter if he is married or not, he is avoiding you.  He obviously doesn't think that you are worth his time or he would give you that time.

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6. 61

   fpherj48posted 9 years ago

   Getting mad never solved anything nor is there any benefit to it for anyone.
   Plain English, point blank, Shay, his messages are fairly loud and clear. It appears he has drifted away considerably and simply doesn't have the courage to come right out and state he no longer wants a relationship.
   This may be emotionally difficult for you temporarily, but the sooner you accept this and begin to move on, the better.
   Experience tells me that when we truly care for someone and want to maintain a close relationship, we are willing to make sacrifices, go beyond the basics and put forth the effort to spend time with that someone.   "Schedules" are changeable and within our control to work something out when it's important enough.  Don't you think?
   Try to see his behavior as a blessing in disguise.  This may be the start of something much more fulfilling in your life. 
   Keep a positive attitude and keep yourself open to meeting new people and doing different things.
   I wish you much success.

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   1. 59

      Shay Lposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks. This is definitely insightful and helpful.

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   2. 39

      ChristinSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent way of putting it Paula - I totally agree with you, but then I usually do

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   3. 61

      fpherj48posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Funny Christin, I agree with you all the time too.  PROOF that great minds think alike!

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7. 0

   Stargrrlposted 9 years ago

   Yes, you should be mad.  And disappointed.  Disappointed that he does not feel the same way about you.  I'd remove him from my life and move on.

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