I'd like feedback on my article: Deaths and Fatal Accidents that happen in...

1. 58

   Demetris Efstathiouposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Deaths and Fatal Accidents that happen in Cyprus (must be signed in to view)

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   1. 97

      theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      Well, that's a happy topic for the new year
      
      First of all there are grammatical errors throughout. For example:
      
      "Surprisingly, the number have been drop quite dramatically from the first 5 years."
      
      Should be:
      
      "Surprisingly, the number of fatalities have dropped dramatically compared with the first five years."
      
      However, it's unclear what you mean by the 'first five years'. Do you mean the last five years?
      
      There is a lot of random capitalisation. And the article is way too short.
      
      "There are more deaths than fatal accidents'... What does that mean? Aren't they the same in the context of your article?
      
      This isn't really up to the required standards for HubPages. Besides which, have you done your research to find out if there are numerous searches for the topic? If no-one is looking for this information, there's no point in writing it.
      
      Why don't you research HubPages in depth to find out what they require?Click on Help top right, to navigate to the Learning Center. You will also need to improve your English skills.
      
      Good luck... and watch those roads!

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      1. 58

         Demetris Efstathiouposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks you,
         Its just an article for my course my instructor wants an article so i do not care about if there is not interests in the topic
         Happy new Year!

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         1. 97

            theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            So you didn't want feedback at all? You made me waste my time reading your article and suggesting ways to improve it?
            
            And some people here wonder why I'm 'harsh'.

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2. 94

   FatFreddysCatposted 5 years ago

   "Hi, can I have feedback on my article?....no, wait, never mind, I don't really care."
   
   ...makes sense.

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3. 94

   Rupert Taylorposted 5 years ago

   Not at all harsh Bev. Honest, yes. I recall an editor from times long past who could reduce writers to quivering piles of jelly. He was harsh. But another thing about him was that he was nearly always right. And that's how you learn.
   
   Don't let this person put you off giving your valuable advice.

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