I'd like feedback on my article: How to Be More Disciplined in Life

1. 86

   vidsagsterposted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: How to Be More Disciplined in Life

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   1. 96

      theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Vidya,
      
      You've put a lot of work into your article and it deserves to be featured.
      
      I would suggest that you remove most of the photos. The article doesn't need them. Just keep two of them and ditch the rest.
      
      Put your subtitles into title case and make sure to use the definite article, so, "Role of discipline in our Life" becomes "The Role of Discipline in Our Lives".
      
      Try to reduce the number of times you use the word 'discipline'. For instance, you could use self-restraint, will power, or prudence.
      
      Check your list and keep the format consistent. For example you use both dashes and colons. Choose one and stick to it in all your writing. So
      
      1. First item: blah blah
      2. Second item: blah blah.
      
      OR
      
      1. First item - blah blah
      2. Second item - blah blah.
      
      Watch out for missing full stops/periods in your list too. If the list items consist of full sentences, then use a period after each one. If the list consists of single words or fragments, omit the periods until the last one, as I have done above.
      
      The link under Dopamine, doesn't work very well there with a single bullet point. If that's an article of yours, then simply link to the first occurrence of dopamine in the next sentence. Or move the link to the end of the paragraph. It doesn't need a bullet point.
      
      I'll stop there. Make those changes and see if your article is approved.
      
      Good luck.

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   2. 60

      TessSchlesingerposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      The most important aspect of your article is your first picture. It needs to be relevant to your title plus be eye catching.
      
      If you can't find relevant pictures what I do is find quotes, then I find a picture of the person who said it on wiki, and use paint-net (I have a tutorial on how to do that), and put the quote in with the picture. It works.
      
      I also think that you need to break up your text more towards the end. The way I do this is use a call out, or a poll, or a video, or a picture.
      
      Otherwise, well written, and good advice.

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2. 86

   vidsagsterposted 4 years ago

   Hi theraggededge
   Thank you so much for the feedback. I will make the changes suggested by you and I hope that the article gets approved. Yes, I have really worked hard to write this article and I would love it to be featured.

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3. 95

   Eurofileposted 4 years ago

   Theraggededge has given some great advice. I thought the article was good enough to be featured.
   I wonder if the editors think that some of your text capsules are too long and dense. If it doesn't get featured, which it should, you could maybe play around a bit with the structure to break up the longer sections a little.
   Perseverance usually pays off on this site, but it can be a struggle at times to figure out what the editors are looking for.

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   1. 86

      vidsagsterposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Tess,
      I will keep in mind all the points you have mentioned, in my future write ups. Needless to say one does struggle and learn in the beginning in one's pursuit to be a good writer. I welcome all the suggestions to improve.

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4. 86

   vidsagsterposted 4 years ago

   Thanks Liz, yes it is true that my articles are a bit long and dense. That is because I try to incorporate as much information as possible in the same article. I realized it could be difficult to read.  I have to keep in mind that aspect the next time I write.

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   1. 93

      OldRosesposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with Eurostar.  You have to remember that people are reading your articles online and a lot of them are reading them on their phones.  Short chunks of text will keep their attention.  Longer blocks of text will discourage them and they will move to the next article.

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      1. 86

         vidsagsterposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks OldRoses for the valuable feedback.
         I will remember this and incorporate it in my next write-up.

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