Why being selfish is GOOD for you emotionally, mentally, & psychologically? Why

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   Why being selfish is GOOD for you emotionally, mentally, & psychologically? Why are selfish
   
   people less likely to be taken advantage of & are oftentimes admired & respected, even grudgingly?
   
   

   replyreport
2. 79

   Express10posted 9 years ago

   As a reformed people pleaser, I certainly understand why being selfish when it counts is good for you in a variety of aspects of your life. With regard to mind and mood, when you are selfish you can be honest and not care so much about others to your own detriment. Some of those will be those who don't care much about you. I used to spend a lot of time worrying about others...some of whom never gave a darn about me!
   
   Being selfish can boil down to more time for you to focus on the things and people who are important to you. With this focus you are more likely to accomplish greater deeds in number and importance than a people pleaser ever would. Being selfish can prevent you from wasting time or opportunities because you want to "be nice" or be a "team player" and allows you the ability to ask for or demand what you deserve rather than waiting for others to greenlight it for you (good luck with that). Being selfish in the right situations will put you further ahead than being a people pleaser ever will.
   
   Some selfish people may be respected simply because they do not exhibit the people pleaser mindset and they demand what they want, need, or have earned. Their self esteem and confidence is not dependent on keeping the peace and avoiding confrontation. For example, I recently saw a news clip about the fact that most adults who would rather go without an impossible number of things, literally including going without money, than to ask for or negotiate a pay raise.
   In this scenario, those who are deemed "selfish" will negotiate and come out ahead and earn the respect of those too afraid to ruffle feathers by asking for or demanding what they want or need in compensation.

   replyreport
3. 70

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   
   
   Being selfish is a great way to protect a person from being taken advantage of. One should always be proactive in looking out for what is best them. One old adage goes:
   "You are responsible for your own happiness!"
   However if one of your goals is to experience being "in love" or possibly marriage it's fairly difficult to make that happen without {trusting}. No intelligent person marries someone they don't trust!
   Those who go onto become 'good parents" also evolve to the point of (making their children a top priority) in their lives. Those who remain selfish as parents tend to raise children who (never felt loved) and they are likely to act out in many ways. They're unable to give something that they themselves never received.
   Ultimately {too much selfishness} leads to loneliness.
   Lonely people are usually regulated to being "spectators" of life.
   They don't get hurt but they also never feel loved either.
   No one weeps at a selfish person's funeral.
   They have no friends!

   replyreport
   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Great points made.  There is GOOD/HEALTHY/POSITIVE selfishness & there is the NEGATIVE kind.  I am addressing the positive kind.  Selfishness has such a negative connotation which oftentimes isn't true at all.

      replyreport
4. 59

   SpiritusShepherdposted 9 years ago

   Not necessarily selfishness, but "setting boundaries" is very important for a person emotionally and psychologically. I have a sister who is very dependent on other people, I do what I can to help her, but there are times when I have to tell her "no", because if I don't I find myself depressed and anxious from listening to her stories, knowing she will not follow my advice anyway.
   I have an aunt who does not know how to say "no" to anyone and she pays for it by not being able to do all of the favors she said she would and she often takes out this stress on her family and her husband.
   Those who are very adamant about their boundaries are less likely to be taken advantage of, because everyone already knows their answer or that they are not the kind of person to change their minds on specific things.
   This is admired as a kind of strength.

   replyreport
   1. 70

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree having "boundaries" and "deal breakers" is very different from being "selfish".

      replyreport
   2. 79

      Express10posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I could not have said it any better. You are spot on.

      replyreport
5. 83

   tamarawilhiteposted 8 years ago

   It is rare that others will care for you or take care of you as much as anyone else would, aside from your parents.
   And there are many who will leech off you if they are allowed to, so standing up and saying no forces them to respect you compared to those afraid to definitively decline their requests.

   replyreport
   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      +100000000000000.

      replyreport