How do women get away with it?

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   megs78posted 14 years ago

   I was visiting with a girlfriend the other day and the conversation had turned to husbands, sex, etc.  I was complaining a little that my husband tended to sulk if I was isn't in the mood when he was and that I was getting tired of it.
   
   My friend, trying to patch things up, asked if maybe I wasn't having sex often enough with him.  So I asked her, 'is 3 times a week (at the very least) not enough?'
   
   Her jaw dropped and she couldn't believe that we had sex that often.  She told me that it had been a month since her and her husband had been intimate and sometimes even longer.
   
   That made my jaw drop. But then I started getting curious and polled some girlfriends.  and you know what?  its not that uncommon.
   
   But here's the question; how are women getting away with that?  and number two, why, besides the most obvious reasons (violence, disrespect, mean, uncaring, etc) do women even want to refuse for such long times?
   
   I just think that its a really important facet of a relationship and I think that the relationship I have with my husband would be very strained if I was refusing him for months at a time.
   
   Any thoughts?

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2. 63

   Mishaposted 14 years ago

   You mean you do sex only for him?

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      megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Misha, what are you asking me?

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         Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         The way you constructed your post made me thinking you do not enjoy sex yourself and do it only to please your hubby. Just wanted to clarify if this understanding is correct or not

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            megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I'm not exactly sure where you see that I would not enjoy sex.  I love it.

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               Mishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I'm glad I was wrong

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                  megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  my husband is happy too

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   Crazdwriterposted 14 years ago

   no idea but there is a month when we have sex almost every day of the week until I start and then months when we do it maybe once or twice...just not in the mood at times...

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      megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I get the 'not in the mood' thing. Of course I have it too.  but for months?  I remember my husband refused me once because he was too wasted, not because he wasn't in the mood, and it really hurt me.  I couldn't imagine being refused for a month.  Am I seeing this the wrong way?

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         Crazdwriterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         No but thankfully my husband isn't one who does get upset or hurt when I refuse him...he understands me

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   B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

   you have to factor in many things, does one partner work horrible hours and there is not much time between work and sleep, is one been sick, are there any performance issues that have not been discussed, is one holding a grudge against the other partner that has been going on for some time...
   
   
   Its kind of hard to say, some have legitimate reasons, others do not..

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      megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I get what you mean too BC, I have 3 children, I work two jobs and run my ass off.  We are tired and there are days when its hard to find the strength to even kiss goodnight.  I know.

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   donotfearposted 14 years ago

   Heck, I think 3 times a week sounds like a healthy average. What does it matter how many times? It's the sharing and intimacy that really count. If you're unhappy, it could be more like 1 time per month or less. Heck I remember in my 2nd marriage I was a miserable soul...I mean miserable and in my early thirties supposed to be the prime time. Only had sex about 1 time per 3 months or more the last 5 yrs. Yep, I didn't care either. I bailed out of that one.
   
   I told current spousey we need to keep up with the national average. Heheheh.

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      megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, I think its a healthy average too, and thats why I was complaining to my girlfriend about my spouse's sulking when he doesn't get it.

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   wychicposted 14 years ago

   Who says that women are doing it? The only time I ever went that long since I started having sex was because he refused...

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      megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well, like I said in my opening paragraph, I polled my girlfriends, and I know its not scientific or anything, but out of 7 of my friends, only 2 of us were having regular sex.

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         wychicposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         True true...I know for me it's a matter of catching him in the right mood, but he does work in a stressful job and is significantly older than I am so I s'pose I can't complain too loudly when he's not in the mood. Through two marriages, I've always been the one to be refused...what's wrong with this picture?

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