The Journey - Chapter 16
A look at aging
This is the concluding chapter of our collaborative series. It is the profound hope of our 16 authors, that we have portrayed an honest view of the aging process. It is not intended as an exhaustive or comprehensive view. We simply share with you, the music which accompanied our dance, from youth to age.
At the bottom of this chapter you will find the links to each of the published chapters, beginning with chapter 1 and linking each successive chapter through to this concluding chapter. We sincerely thank all of you, who have followed us through to the end and we treasure the gracious comments left along the way.
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Introduction
Mistakenly, we sometimes assume that the good times are gone. That they belong to another time, the once fresh rain that fell upon our youth. Some assume that age comes to beg our submission to the inevitable encroachment that will steal our bodies and inject us with senility. It isn't true.There are pleasures and conveniences associated with both youth and age and yet, advantage does not sit on either side of the proverbial fence. They are, neither one, better, they are simply different. Contrary to much, which is assigned to our "over the hill status" we are still moved by sensuality, by adventure, by the thrill of it all. We engage in such frivolity, with enough frequency, to still be counted among the living, despite the opposite presumption of our children. Our intentional pauses, our momentary lapses, our deliberate hesitations, are not signs of a diminishing capacity, but of intentional interludes, meant to savor life, to squeeze from it the nourishment that would feed our hearts and satisfy the appetite of yet still hungry minds. The hurry, which once encumbered our full attention, has departed and left instead, a want for life to linger at our senses; A want for it to settle, like collected sediment beneath the daily current that would sweep any of it, too swiftly from our pleasure.
We are also moved by the seemingly insignificant. You might see us staring with wonder at common rain or you might catch us humming to invisible music. We are at home, in solitude and in revelry, in simplicity and in extravagance, either alone or in company. Yes, we feed the squirrels and on occasion, we talk to the pigeons, but when they tire of us, we are rather ordinary. We still make love, steal the unsuspecting kiss and we still whisper "sweet nothings" in ears, forever enchanted with our lies.Yes, we can not find the glasses perched atop our heads and we can't ever remember where we put our keys, but, we remember the birthdays of 190 people and why birthdays are more important than where we put the keys. We still floor the accelerator on occasion and yes, we still dance by ourselves when no one is around to see the fool in us.
We have accumulated a deep reverence for life and we approach it with a more patient resolve. The years have tendered our hearts to the things that matter and hardend them with indifference, to things that never will. We remember yesterday with quiet affection and with a grateful smile. We are indebted, both for what it gave and for what it did not take. Regardless of our age, whether twenty or eighty, together we all hold this in common; We each have the same day before us. It isn't youth or age that fills the hour, it is life. We can fill it with hurry, with business, with passion, with adventure or with each other. It will not return to us, young or old, unless we fill it with something worth remembering. At the end of days, when the chaff is seperated from our lives, it is the love we left behind, which will beg our immortality.
My Question:
If you could keep one thing from youth and one from age,
what would they be and why?
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The Answers
From: http://nellieanna.hubpages.com/
Actually I feel I’ve kept my personal treasures from my youth: - a perpetual delightful, curious trust, though it’s become quite realistic. I’ve learned to trust people to do what they’re going to do and to accept it, which is among my treasures of age, accepting and appreciating people as they ARE.
From aging, I value my sense of quiet certainty of what really matters, - a serenity, - that comes from feeling all is well, along with an almost amazing ability to spot a phony, even from a distance - and live with it. So, to answer your question, - from my youth, - I would keep my innocent rambunctious joy; and from my age, - I would keep my realistic serene joy - both of which, I do keep and enjoy.
Serenity is my adornment,
The gift of years.
I envy not that blank
Of innocence.
I am become a womanPainfully,
And there’s no debt Against it.
The calm water shows
No wear and tear
from its past storms.
_____© Nellieanna H. Hay
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From: http://kathleencochran.hubpages.com/
From my youth I would keep that conviction that anything is possible.Life has a way of limiting your dreams, forcing reality upon you, and whittling down your choices. When you are just starting out in your teens, you think you can do anything. It’s a wonderful thing I wish you could bottle and take a dose of every day after the age of forty when life is often too real.
From the process of aging I’d like to keep all the mistakes I’ve made. I’d like to keep that accumulated experience and wring out of it the wisdom that comes no other way, but from making mistakes and learning from them. I’d bottle that wisdom and give my children a dose of it every day.
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From: http://kennethavery.hubpages.com/
My unbridled laughter and happiness that only lends itself to us when we are youths. That would be the perfect tool in my old age. And from my old age, I would want to keep the REAL memories of those true friends and yes, even the "LOVES," that now give me the unnoticed smiles on my lips covered with my beard.
From: http://curiad.hubpages.com/
From my youth, I would keep my insatiable desire for knowledge. From age, I would keep my desire to help others and to make this world a better place. The most important things we could ever have, come from within, from the spirit. If I can share this one thing with those that follow, I will have done the best I can.
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From: http://tillsontitan.hubpages.com/
This is a tough question to answer. I hope I brought the best things of my youth with me as I age...of course that is not possible physically but that is not what's important. So, I guess if I had to choose something from my youth that I wanted to keep it would be the vitality and stamina to do all the 'physical' things I want to do for as long as I want and as well as I want without needing a nap.
From age, like I'm sure everyone else will say, I would keep my wisdom. I have told my children so many, many times, "I didn't get to be this age without learning something along the way!" The joys and sorrows we deal with in our lives are what make us strong and wise. Whether we have academic degrees or not doesn't matter once we are past fifty-five. What matters more is what we have learned from life; from our families, from our friends, and yes, even from our enemies. Hopefully we have learned from our mistakes and have mellowed to a point where we know life is not in our hands. We use our 'wisdom' to guide our own lives and perhaps pass some along to the generations to come...if they will listen.
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From: http://vincentmoore.hubpages.com
I would treasure my physical condition, stamina and good health as a youth, this I would love to keep till my dying breath.Combine my youthful treasures with having the wisdom I have gathered throughout my life, and now a senior the two would be a blessing surely sent from Heaven above. So in a nutshell, the two things I would keep would be physical condition and wisdom.
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From: http://phdast7.hubpages.com/
A friend wrote, “You are the most “curious” person I have ever known; I thought you might like to attend a Hindu wedding with me.”I began considering what makes one curious.My mother was well versed in literature, languages, words, music, and fine art.We discussed everything we heard and read, and we read voraciously.My immigrant father passed the GED, then spent the rest of his life reading and absorbing about history, botany, geography, astronomy, military science, archeology, and geology.Soon I was enamored of these disciplines.Curiosity has greatly enriched my life and served me well as a teacher.I would “keep the curiosity” of youth.
Most of my life I have been an impatient person, always hurrying to achieve, complete, accomplish. Keenly aware how an impatient person can easily wound those around them, I struggled to minimize my temper, sharp tongue, and critical attitude. It was difficult work and seemed never ending.Then during my forties my temperament began to change; sometimes it seemed like I was losing myself, but God was both merciful and quite persistent. I would “keep the patience” born of years.“Curiosity and patience.”
From: http://tomcornett.hubpages.com/
I would like to keep the blissful wisdom of my youth and the lessons in life of my age. I've often wanted to reach back in time and flick myself in the ear....but then I'd smile and realize that changing the past could be a far worse mistake. Even though I was wise beyond my years, even as a child.....there was an innocence within my wisdom. I only saw the light of the world and my mind formed that light into an even more innocent being that I had many conversations with. At ten years old, I would walk deep into the woods with my dog at my side. I didn't fear the dark shadows at all. I felt that innocent being was with me, sheltering me and protecting me. It gives me chills now to think of how I wondered away back then.
As I grew older....I began to know things about some of the people who owned the properties where my dog and I would explore. I was fortunate enough to have never crossed their paths in a situation that might have left me abused or even dead. A few backwoods, ignorant hicks tend to have the idea that anyone who tress passes on their property is fair game. What I believe is the greatest rule of all,"Do not hurt the little ones."I also believe that we have a far greater wisdom of love in youth. We connect love to our learning until the pain of struggling begins to separate the two. Our sweet curiosity becomes sooner or later, an obsession to make money and find a mate. The wisdom of love fades and the wisdom of surviving grows. A dove can't escape a viper unless the dove learns to be aware of it's surroundings.I've learned in my age to protect that ten year old boy with every essence of my being. He is the very being I spoke with as a child, so many wonderful times.
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From: http://jackwms.hubpages.com/
I think I like this question. On a lighter side, from my youth, I'd keep my teeth. Dentures have been an annoyance. I'd also like to have kept my parents beyond my 18th and 22nd year. But, on another level, it would be great to have the energy and enthusiasm I had back then. For example, It would be fun to travel Europe with a friend and a back pack before taking on a career and family.
Today at 76 years of age, I am retired with an adequate pension (not large) and health benefits. I've had a replaced hip and major back surgery in recent years and cannot be as active as I once was. But, I have helped raise a family of four sons and now have ten grandchildren plus one great grandson. I've lived a good life, traveled to other countries, and enjoyed my family.
What two things would I keep from age? Well, the family is all important, watching them grow and mature and become successful in their own right. The aging process has been wonderful in many respects, in that I have had the privilege of seeing these things develop. I am now enjoying the slower pace of life and spend more time reading, writing, and just soaking up what life has to offer. O.K., you said two things. The second thing from age is a big one. Wisdom. I no longer stress about things as I once did. I understand, from my years of experience, the things that are most important and the things not to worry about. It's been a good life and I expect more to follow.
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From: http://sligobay.hubpages.com/
Innocence of youth, once lost, is never recaptured. It is a state of spiritual purity that is the exclusive domain of the young. The enthusiasm of the young is limitless. It continues through life, in varying degrees, but never regains the raw energy with which it was first infused. Youthful enthusiasm is undaunted. The innocence and enthusiasm of the young is accompanied by a natural self-centeredness. Maturity tempers the natural self-centeredness of youth and allows selflessness to grow in many but many people never accomplish the transition. Selflessness arises from acceptance and understanding. Wisdom evolves with experience and knowledge. I choose the innocence of youth and the wisdom of age.
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From: http://cjsledgehammer.hubpages.com/
In my youth I was given a reprieve and through this reprieve a “second chance” at a new beginning, and this gave me hope, inspired faith, and ushered love into my life. Now that I am well-passed my physical prime and the effects of time have ravaged my body and drained me of my youthful vigor, there is something that time, not only appreciates, but rewards. And, that is the accumulation of Godly wisdom through faith. So, with all things considered, I would take the seed of hope that had been planted in my youth and had been nourished by the rains of time and nurtured with loving hands, thus sprouting into a great pillar of faith as I aged. I choose, therefore, to keep faith, hope, and love, because these elements will stand the test of time, yet can continue to nourish those left behind, all-the-while serving as a badge of honor in the life to come. “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” - 1 Corinthians 13:13
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From: http://silvergenes.hubpages.com/
Keeping the body of my youth with its energy and flexibility would be nice but more to the point, it would be fun to look great in a bikini again! I also miss that vibrant, elastic kind of energy that can send one across the floor in cartwheels. Best of all is the innocence, that open sense of trust and wonder. Do I have to choose only one? If I am going to be practical, it would be the energy because a hot chick in a bikini who is asleep by nine defeats the purpose. From age, I would keep the confidence and gentle character that comes from living, learning, loving, and forgiving. It would be a very unusual combination though and might tempt me into joining the Peace Corps or striking out in a career with National Geographic.
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From: http://jayewisdom.hubpages.com/
YOUTH: No contest—my singing voice! By age eight, I had an adult’s voice, perfect pitch and a range of three octaves. Adults hearing me sing were moved to tears. Without formal training, I didn’t know how to protect my voice. I sang at full volume and for hours at a time. What joy I got from singing! By age 48, respiratory allergies took their toll. It became difficult to reach that high A with a round tone. Still, I kept singing. When I was eight, my grandmother said my talent was a gift from God that I must not waste, and I didn’t. I sang at school, church, weddings, funerals, special concerts, on local radio, sitting at my piano… developing a repertoire of thousands of songs. Many I still recall. But I can’t sing them. Surgery in 2000 damaged my larynx. My range spans three notes instead of octaves, and my once-glorious voice is a croak I can’t bear to hear. I play keyboard instead. AGE: My mental capacity…intact for the rest of my life!
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I had to really think about this one, because I feel like I have been granted this already. I'm not that concerned about physical prowess or looks, and actually find both more appealing with age, and I could also say the sense of comfort and security I felt as a child, but it's not really something I need to "keep". That said, what I choose from youth is a sense of childlike curiosity and inquisitiveness about things, qualities I have tried to maintain, despite the struggles and obstacles faced along life's path. From age, the peaceful acceptance of what is possible, without the clingy stress of feeling like what I've had isn't enough.
"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." ~ William James
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From : http://xstatic.hubpages.com/
If I were granted something to keep from youth and something to keep from age? From age is easy, really. I would certainly like to hang on to whatever modicum of wisdom that has settled upon me over all these years. It does seem like a thin cloak at times in these increasingly complicated times, but I would choose to keep it, maybe even add to it as long as I am able to walk this earth.
From youth, so many choices. I suppose I would choose to keep that unflaggable energy of youth, the kind that allowed me to stay up all night on election day, 1960 arguing good naturedly with two friends about the merits of John F. Kennedy versus those of Richard Nixon. We were all too young to vote, but it seemed so important. When we fianally got the news early the next morning, two of us were elated, one not so much, so we all went out to breakfast at Yummies.
If there were one other available from back then, maybe I would want my hair.
http://arb.hubpages.com
Youth appears to have a partnership with vitality, with unbridled energy, with that naive optimism that extends horizons and stretches the imagination. I have measured such gift, however, in people of every age, which lends evidence that perhaps, their absence is more about surrender. I think "time" is the true prize of youth. Their horizon seems limitless, while ours has lost it's elasticity. We notice the mile markers more today than yesterday. Perhaps, noticing the mile markers, encourages a quickening when it comes to growing up!
There is I think, a quiet elegance, which accompanies aging. An authenticity pressed into the residual wrinkles, which leaves evidence, that we have lived beyond our youth. I would like to think that it is wisdom, but, I have met my share of old fools. Not all who are old are wise, but, all who are wise are old. If wisdom is the influence of past experience imposing itself upon our future, then age should gift us with bountiful measure. Life has been a school that never closes for me and it has patiently mastered my stubbornness. It has taught me what love is and what it isn't. That I must bathe it every morning in forgiveness and lay it down at night without condition. Perhaps, learning to love comes from wisdom. Perhaps, wisdom comes from learning how to love. The chicken or the egg, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that love grows up. It begins in self and flies from there until it finds a home in others. To feed on such love, is indeed, an acquired taste. What would I keep? The gift of time that accompanies youth and the authenticity of love that graces age. Time is such an incomparable luxury, however, without love, it is a useless extravagance!
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Age collects our youth
like sand within the glass
Could I but turn it upside down
what would I do it ask?
I'd make a list of those I love
and pour them in the glass
just time and love and them
for as long as life would last.
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"The things that you will wish for tomorrow, are already here today. We are not in need of wish. We are in need of wake." arb
L to R - my two sons, my daughter-in-law, my wife and I, my youngest daughter and her husband, my oldest daughter and her husband.
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We have looked at aging through the different windows of 16 writers. We do not presume a wisdom other than, we are all wiser today, than when we were young. Neither do we, as individuals, presume an answer, which will illuminate the road for those who follow. Each one of us, alone, would prove insufficient light for so treacherous a journey, however, collectively our candles cast a broader light revealing that both, treasure and danger lay in wait along the way.
Our lives are sculptured by every measure of circumstance that comes upon us, from conception unto our final day. No one of us, can go this journey unscathed, but in the midst of our trials, through our loss and our failures, the human spirit mends, to joy, to laugh and to love again. In examining the answers from these 16 chapters you will find that we have all shared a common ground, harvesting from life, the fruit of what we've planted and at times, harvesting losses, despite what we have planted. We have alike, tilled the ground, nurtured our planting and fed on eager expectation. Experience has taught us what to plant, what not to plant and why, but, it has also taught us that our faithfulness does not always guarantee the yield expected.
If there is a common thread which runs through our collective tapestry it is simply this; We love life at every age, we keep dreams at every age and love can light our journey, like headlamps that tame a dark and unfamiliar road. We've learned that hope is a more reliable companion than expectation and we've learned that the condition of our heart, is a more accurate judge of age than time. We've learned that who we are, is the consequence of failure and success, of defeat as much as victory and of loss as much as gain. We've learned from every question, from every answer, from every line and in between the lines, that life is about our love for the people who fill our lives. They are the living ornaments with which we decorate our lives and the daily prize which lays our head to rest at night.
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I chose this song because it tells the story of a journey, where the importance of collecting ornaments can not be illustrated any more profoundly.
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I find it difficult to close this series without some reference to the encroaching horizon. For many, this present journey diminishes the idea of a loving and merciful God. It leaves the hungry soul with questions, with reservation and with mounting doubt as to the possibility of any awaiting paradise. If this journey is a prerequisite for the next, then it begs the question from me, why, if not to fashion from me, something essential for the journey yet to come. As I gaze upon the approaching horizon, I can see the reflection of where I've been, of things which bent my will and insisted from my heart, something more than I had any want to give. Where else, but from such a journey, with its smorgasbord of around-the-clock, seductive temptation, where the voracious appetite of my five senses clamor for perpetual attention and stimulation, where my human nature craves the deceitful promises offered by empty illusions along the way, where else, but in such a journey, could I learn to cross the bridge from myself to others? Perhaps this journey is necessary, to break that stubborn allegiance, which man, so proudly assigns to himself. Perhaps it is necessary, to learn of the soul and of the life in love. Perhaps, we are only here, to be sculptured from youth to age, 'till in the end, we are finally, selfless.
In conclusion, I am left to marvel at the sixteen candles, which have left their light upon my life through this collaborative enterprise. Each hand has left an indelible fingerprint fixed upon these collective pages as we examined the road behind and the road that still remains before us. Together, we have examined our journeys for regret, for lesson and for understanding. In so doing, we have established a mutual admiration, a shared amusement and affirmation, that we are all engaged in a common struggle to elevate the good in life against all that would beg a measure of our surrender. To each of you; I will keep you as ornaments to hang upon my heart and as company to warm the memory of our travel together. Because we can not go this way again, I am ever thankful that we made so much of our first encounter. My heartfelt thanks to
Nellieanna, my friend and parntner in every crime along the way.
Greg, for doing your share and yet another, for one in need of a samaritan.
Theresa, my friend and secret sounding board
Kathleen, continuous offers of help, support and encouragement
Vincent, guardian of our collaborative integrity and in the throws of his own move
Silvergenes, all of this while in the middle of a 3000 mile, coast to coast move
CJ, his want to equal our every effort surpassed the bar and revealed his humble gift
Jack, coming on in the final week and completing an incomplete group
Sligobay, my kinsman in thought who gives confidence to what I write
Jaye, sweet spirit spread upon our every change
Kenneth, in the midst of trials, gave all he could
xstatic, my Oregon neighbor, long on willingness and gracious character
Curiad, every change met with smile and compliment
Tom, a new friend whose honest heart spilled content into our work
tillsontitan, daily praise of every word and heart for every one of us
arb
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For immediate access to any previous chapter simply click on one of the following chapters.
A Table of Contents ----- Hub authors
The Journey - Chapter 1 - Nellieanna
The Journey - Chapter 2 - Curiad
The Journey - Chapter 3 - Vincent
The Journey - Chapter 4 - Jaye
The Journey - Chapter 5 - tillsontitan
The Journey - Chapter 6 - xstatic
The Journey - Chapter 7- tom cornett
The Journey - Chapter 8 - Silvergenes
The Journey - Chapter 9 - kenneth avery
The Journey - Chapter 10 - kathleen Cochran
The Journey - Chapter 11 - CJ Sledgehammer
The Journey - Chapter 12 - phdast ( Theresa )
The Journey - Chapter 13 - gerg
The Journey - Chapter 14 - sligobay
The Journey - Chapter 15 - Jackwms
The Journey - Chapter 16 - arb