How can a recovering addict help his/her family through their own recovery?

1. 85

   K9keystrokesposted 13 years ago

   How can a recovering addict help his/her family through their own recovery?

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2. 75

   prektjr.dcposted 13 years ago

   As the former wife of a yo-yo-ing recovering addict, the most important thing they can do is try to keep communication open and honest.  Most addicts are successful in their addiction with deception and lies, therefore keeping things open and honest will help with recovery.
   
   NOTE:  Our marriage did not survive his attempts at recovery as they were not sincere and for himself.  He was going through recovery only because of a court order.  It was not successful.

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3. 60

   Hannibal Rexposted 13 years ago

   prektjt.dc is right. Honesty. Things fall apart. Honesty is the best road to take. The best (and cheesiest) way to say this is: We are all snowflakes. Each situation is different. Look at the "note" in all capital letters on prektjr.dc's answer. You have to WANT it. You can't just expect everything to work out. You know how Jesus only helps those who help themselves? It's like that. The systems, the steps, the meetings. Stay with it. Like a diet. Think inches not pounds. One day at a time.
   
   How can an addict help his or her family through their own recovery? By recovering. By being honest.
   
   Sorry to answer a question with a question but...I'm going to:
   
   How can a recovering addict's family help them through their own recovery? Answer: The same. Honesty.
   
   I have a close family member who has been to rehab, jail, and even moved away several times to get clean and sober. In fact, the last time he went away for rehab was under a court order. No joke, the first day he was out he had a needle back in his arm. He told me. Then he wanted me to lie to our family and keep his secret while he kept the face of a "clean and sober addict in recovery" which, of course didn't last long. Broken hearts all around. No honesty there.
   
   Staying with the snowflake metaphor, the addict should as his/her family this question. What can I do to help you help me?
   
   And this is important enough to repeat: ONE DAY AT A TIME!

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4. 60

   pruntcessposted 12 years ago

   An addict in recovery involves more than just putting the drugs down.  It involves some kind of intense work on themselves, such as self-help and/or therapy.  This allows many changes to be made, including learning how to be honest, reliable, and trustworthy. 
   Addicts are sick people, and they come from sick families.  Just because one person starts to recover doesn't mean the whole family will get better, or the problems will disappear.  In recovery, one learns that one can't help others except through power of example (such as setting boundaries, or refusing to engage in old patterns of behavior).  By continuing to follow that path, hopefully the family will all get better, but the family also has to want to change.

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