How can you overcome shyness?
Shy to speak out, and be the first one to initiate conversation, things like that. How can you overcome it?
This is an interesting question, and also a hard one to answer. I do not know if shyness can be cured? I do know that extreme shyness (Social anxiety) can be somewhat controlled by medication. I, myself am shy. It seems to have gotten worse with age.
I don't know. I used to have that problem myself, and I overcame it. I still have some trouble being shy, but not much anymore. It is not really an issue for me now. I guess that I overcame it because I talk to people very often, and have gotten used to speaking to strangers. That is one of the ways to get over it. I am not an expert on the subject, I can only speak from my own experiences.
Shyness, I suspect, is caused by over sensitivity to how one feels one is being evaluated by others. This comes from how we feel about ourselves. This, in turn, comes from our self-image: how we perceive ourselves to be. And as it has been stated so often, 'We never venture outside the parameters of our self image.'
The good news? Our self-image can be changed.
So the work must begin on the self-image. Without going into a long rigmarole of methods, I'll mention one which works with many people. It does take some courage, but you'll get support all along the way. That way is to join a Toastmasters Club. A year or so in a good club and you'll discover within yourself confidence you never knew you had.
I struggled with this for a long time. I believe that getting rid of shyness means getting rid of fear and insecurities. Also, it means putting in the effort to not think so much about ourselves and to come out of the shells to genuinely interact with others. Check out my hub:
Shyness - as already stated by others, is connected to self-image. It is often due to negative self-thought and general self-critical thinking when in social situations. Instead of being interested in other people, the shy person is paralysed by a flurry of self-critical thoughts and concerns about what the other people around them are thinking of them. There is no space in such a critically busy mind for engagement in true communication. A way out of this is simply to change the focus of thinking away from the self. Have a list of questions prepared in your head before entering a social situation - things you can ask to make the other party feel you are interested in them. Then listen attentively to the answer. The key word being 'attention'. If a worried 'what must they think of me?' type of question pops into your head - you don't have to answer yourself. There is no need to follow that thought. Ignore it. Ask one of your prepared questions - engage with the person. Don't conentrate on an imagined conception of what other's think of you. Control the real projection of yourself by acting in a planned way. It is all to do with what you choose to pay attention to and how you choose to engage in the situation. It requires practice - but it is entirely possible to defeat shyness. I was once unbearably shy. I forced myself to change so I know it is possible. I still relapse sometimes - but not often.
I never had so much trouble with what I thought people thought of me. It was that I was just not comfortable around anyone that I didn't know.
Perhaps I phrased it badly... not being comfortable around people you don't know is often because of some kind of unspoken fear. Self-esteem based shyness is often due to fears that revolve around the shy person's conception of how others see them.
Maybe. All I know is that I used to be somewhat uncomfortable being around anyone that I don't know. I was able to fix that problem, mostly because I talk to so many people that I don't know, that I just can't be uncomfortable, and now I am not.
Fake it till you make it.
Keep calm and carry on.
Just think that no one else is always confident and we all have moments when we feel weak.
Just think that you are the most intelligent person on the earth. You are a teacher and others are students. Try addressing an audience. First try to write fearlessly at HubPages. See the results. You will get surprising results. Expressing one self freely instills confidence and confidence has no place for shyness or hesitation, whatever one may call it.
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