Ladies, what character traits are most attractive to you in men?
I am not speaking of obvious outside appearances, but those qualities that a man has deep in his character that are most appealing to you as a woman. Thank you for answering.
When I met my husband, he had been single for some time and had raised his own biological children and adopted one.
The first thing I noticed was his kind eyes. He never looked at me like I was disposable junk food, but rather like a treasure, a gem.
The second thing I noticed was his gentle touch. He was never rough, never rude or insisted on his own way.
Upon meeting his friends for the first time, they told me how he has no guile. And that has stood true to this day. He always sees the kindness in others and even through bad, he forgives.
After we married, I spent a week in the hospital, then another week six months later for thyroid surgery. He took it upon himself to watch my children. He did all the grocery shopping even though he went without because the hospital bills were increasing. He never asked a soul for a thing during this time.
I came home to a clean house. The children had a better routine than I had tried to enforce, and even our adopted animals were well kept.
In 2012, I had another run-in with far reaching health issues. Once again my husband was the shining light in my life.
He also studied to be a pastor. He has taught me so much Biblically even though I became a Christian well before he.
And the most important character trait in my opinion is the way he cares for my son with Autism.
This man was truly a blessing for me. A gift from God. Without him, I don't know where I would be today. The respect, love, nurturing, and care that he has shown me and my children is far beyond any riches I could have ever hoped for in life.
Crafty - You found yourself a rare jewel there, and I'm sure you show him how much he is appreciated.
Oh, how very beautiful Crafty!!! You have yourself a Godly Christian man of true character! When one finds one such as you have, then that is it for life! You are very blessed, as I know he is as well. God bless you both.
Thank you ladies, from the kindness of my heart.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I was very moved by your experience, and the love you share with your kind, exceptional husband.
You are lucky and blessed. You are blessed twice -- for you have a wonderful husband and you have grasped that you have a wonderful husband!
GOOD CHARACTER covers a lot of territory and encompasses integrity, compassion, patience, courage, loyalty, kindness, dependability and many other positive traits. INTELLIGENCE (though not to the point of snobbishness) and a wonderful SENSE OF HUMOR make a man with good character also a joy to be around. It doesn't hurt if he's a GOOD COOK, but since that's a skill rather than a quality, I'll rephrase it as "ENJOYS COOKING FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS." I think I just described a paragon--a couple of which I found, but none of which I married!
I should have made this list more than a half century ago--and paid attention to it!
Hi Jaye, yes, those are certainly all good character traits to look for in a man indeed! I understand about making that list long ago and paying attention to it .. I know I would not want to be single nowadays. Glad my husband loves me for me!
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Men are commonly said to be physical, but I know that some can be very emotional. Such men have a tendency to understand women more than the physical man. Such men are gentle, kind, patient, loving, etc. They also spend more time with their families than with their friends. Men who always need to run off to play pool, drink a beer, go hunting or fishing with the guys and often miss their sons' games or their daughters' recitals or forget their wives birthdays surely speak their priorities loudly. While wives should understand that guys like to "play" together, families need their time, too, and expect the men to be full-time fathers and husbands. If that is too much to expect, then, they probably took on a wife and children too soon. Hats off to the better boys!
Intelligence. Whenever my husband starts rambling on about information, I have to bring him to bed. Makes him irresistible!
My hubby has a very observant and kind nature. For example, he'll see someone across a parking lot who is elderly or who is handicapped and he will quickly make his way over to hold doors for them.
Also, we approach life, even the challenging parts, with humor and we both share a quirky sense of humor. We laugh all the time.
He's a very loving and affectionate father with his stepson and our son, this is the most attractive thing. He doesn't feel hugs are "wimpy" or anything and he gives them out regularly to all of us. Gotta love an affectionate man.
I know you said not physical, but I love a "sparkle in the eye" - one that shows wit and intelligence - when the wheels are turning very sexy lol
Sensitivity, Sincerity, Intelligence, Calmness, honesty in relationships, the ability to admit mistakes and the one who values family and yes, should have good sense of humour.
The man I married is phenomenal...and he is my second marriage.
I consider him a miracle gift from God...I need to write a story of how he came into my life.
I cannot begin to name all his character traits that have, and still do, attract me.
Honesty and integrity are at the top of my list.
When we were dating, I informed him that I did not believe in a relationship outside of marriage. He totally respected my feelings about morals, and he never pressured me at all. He was willing to wait until we got married. He totally respects me, and I respect him.
Which brings me to the topic of fidelity. A man with good character traits, in my opinion is being faithful to the woman he loves.
He never complains. He is quiet, but he will truthfully speak his mind about any issue, if asked.
He was wonderful to my son and daughter while growing up. He is a hard worker, never lazy, and a good provider.
He is also very generous, and will bring me little surprises, such as a piece of cake from one of my favorite bakeries on the way home from work.
His love for me was manifested tremendously last year when I was so sick and in the hospital after major surgery. On Thanksgiving day he refused to go to my daughter's house for dinner...he spent all day with me in the hospital. As I lay in bed, I said, "Honey, what would you like for Christmas?" With tears running down his face he said, "I just want you to get well." I believe this man would ride a bicycle to California for me if he had to. He has to be one of the most loving and compassionate individuals I have ever known. He is my best friend. I can talk to him about anything.
He is also a Christian, and I know he prays for me every day, as I do for him.
I just love him so very, very much. Words cannot describe. I thank God every single day for my wonderful husband. It is difficult for me to find any flaws, they are so few. Thank you for this question, Faith. Blessings, Sparklea
Sparklea, you have found that special pearl, reserved for you. What a blessing! Thanks for giving those of us without, who still have desire for a relationship, hope. Blessings hfortinberry
Dear Sparklea, yes, what a testimony and I am so thrilled God blessed you with the one who honors and cherishes you as you deserve the best in this life. He is truly a man of fine character, integrity and a loving heart. Your love story is Heavenly
FAITH, THANK YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH! I AM HONORED AND VERY HUMBLED. GOD BLESS YOU DEAR FRIEND. WILL SEND A SEPARATE NOTE LATER SPARKLEA
You are so welcome precious heart! Thank you for sharing of your gem of a husband and I think you should write a hub about him, as it would be so very beautiful without a doubt! God bless you and yours sweetie.
I think I might have to say humility, as I think its opposite, pride, brings a nausea to the surface the way no other quality is able to match. However, is it humility that attracts me? If humility is not hidden behind an outward strength, like gemstones that a hidden beneath hard, dull rock that appear impervious to the storms of life, I am not necessarily captivated.
But when humility shines through one whose outward fortress appears unconquerable, there is nothing more beautiful...to me. I am reminded about the TV series long ago called "Anne of Green Gables." During one episode when speaking about Gilbert, a suitor, Anne replied to her grandmother something to the effect of: "I'd like him to be able to be bad, but to choose to be good instead." In this statement, she admitted to a weakness that many women have toward the "bad boy", but she also admitted to an underlying truth that many women feel: They hold a hope that they can be the one to subdue the bad boy and make him good, which admits to what women really want. Many, if not most, truly desire a nurturing man who will not yield to his emotions, a father-figure of sorts whom she can trust and respect with Godly reverence.
Hi hfortinberry, Wow, what a great answer. I will be thrilled when you do start writing here, for just in your commenting, your writing gifts shine through here. I am in agreement about humility, for we know how God feels about pride. Profound!
My answer is an abbreviation of a poem I wrote:
I think a man who will hold my hand when I am afraid
who I will pine after when he is away,
who will wipe my tears when I cry
and make me laugh when he knows not why,
to march with me when my mind is made,
to escort me when I need promenade,
to feather my nest when I need peace,
to lie beside me as I fall asleep
to rock me gently and slowly
are the qualities I am looking for in a man.
How lovely dear Kim, yes, you deserve such a man in your life, and I know he is out there for you. He would be blessed beyond measure to have you in his life as well. You are beautiful!
hard working, understanding, honest, possesses integrity, faith in God, love of Country and values family
I love intelligence and wit. When combined, it keeps things fresh, lively, and never dull. My husband always thinks things through and he has a quick wit that always makes me laugh, very attractive to me! Of course he has all the typical qualities that makes anyone attractive as well but it truly is his mind and personality that helps keep that spark going
Strong willed. Protective but not overbearing. Someone that is caring but can kick some butt at the same time. A man that cares about his woman, one that will always fight for her and her safety. One who gets angry if he can protect her or meet her needs. Hard headed but sensitive when needs to be. Always gentle with her. Will go to great lengths to romance her and make her know she is the one.
yes, yes, I know. This is obviously a fictional character. Thanks for asking!
Hi MrsGray32, thank you for answering! I believe there is one out there for you who meets those critera. I understand perfectly about the need to be able to "kick some butt" if necessary : ) Been there, and needed my man to protect me too!
Thanks Faith I actually am Happily Married. He does have a lot of these qualities just not all of them. Thanks again!
I am attracted to simplicity, honesty and dedication in a man. Of course, good looks will also help
My mother used to say, look for the three 'C's : Character, Courage and Confidence. They are of course things which will last a lifetime rather than good looks.
That's a great rule to live by. Thanks for sharing!
Hello Sushma Webber, thank you for answering. Yes, a simple, honest and dedicated man is surely one to hang on to if found! I love your mother's three C's ...yes, lifetime indeed!
I LOVE this saying....so terrifically true!
I love a sense of adventure, not only in the overt sense like travel to foreign places... but the kind of personality that treats everything with curiosity. I like a man who loves to take things apart and see how they work and transform that quality in to the ability to go with the flow and try things... which I think is the backbone of adventure!
I am currently married again and I found the most attractive features in every man were those of honesty, integrity and loyalty. A man who is honest will not be a "player" and will lead you into a solid relationship. A man with integrity will be one who will create a positive environment for your relationship. A man who is loyal will be faithful and will build a relationship that will last the test of time. I found him. I adore him and he has made the past 15 years amazing!
Hi prektjr.dc, Wow, you have summed it up so nicely as to each attractive feature. I am thrilled you have found such a man and have been together for the past 15 amazing years! Congrats and blessings for happiness for life with this kind of man!
Interesting question I notice a man's character by kindness, honesty a truthful and dedicated man to what he really wants and his true values of life and of how he expresses his feelings, and the way he treats others if with respect
Capability and confidence. I don't care what he can do as long as he can do it competently. Not perfectly, but masterfully - to know the process and how to fix mistakes along the way to a goal.
Truthfulness and faithfulness, towards me as well as himself, is absolutely necessary - for my life's journey there's no point trying to grow a relationship and to each grow within it without it.
Wit as someone else had mentioned was essential when I was younger, but I see it now more as an added bonus.
After 10 years and 2 kids together I've realized my old man and I have a good thing not because we're so much alike, but rather because we make good partners - though I'm sure our shared ideals and perspectives on life have helped us weather many storms.
Being a kind and thoughtful companion scores the top of my list, but trust and honesty means much more. I don't like being lied to. I want someone who respects my feelings. Unfortunately after nearly forty years of marriage I seldom see that. I guess, we can't have it all.
I always say that I love nerdy boys. But it's not the awkwardness that attracts me... it's the ability to show a passion for things regardless of the response from others. My husband, for example, was a band nerd, and he was a total class clown. He was funny, goofy, and unafraid to be himself.
That kind of confidence definitely attracts me
A man of strong faith and integrity, coupled with humor, passion and humility. I have one of those at home!
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