What life lesson have you had to learn the hard way?

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (16 posts)
  1. ChristinS profile image42
    ChristinSposted 5 years ago

    What life lesson have you had to learn the hard way?

    I think for me it was people pleasing.  When I was young, I always felt pressured to please everyone at all costs, to not say no because people would find that selfish, to never "stir the pot" etc. and it took exposure to a lot of toxic people and relationships to teach me the importance of boundaries and to learn that I could indeed be a worthy, loving, kind person but still be true to myself and that saying "no" is perfectly acceptable when you can't manage to take on another thing.  What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

  2. Zhivko Stanev profile image61
    Zhivko Stanevposted 5 years ago

    That everyone has their own understanding of love and you can't blame someone just because they don't love you the way you expected them to. You can only blame yourself.

    1. ChristinS profile image42
      ChristinSposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Very true, we can't make others love us, and if they don't appreciate you for who you are chances are good that there is someone better suited to you out there.

  3. profile image0
    Aaron Jackposted 5 years ago

    Mine would have to be that people will turn on you and stab you in the back in a heartbeat just to get something they want or need. I had a friend who was a recovering drug addict and I let her stay in my home, since she had nowhere else to go. I thought she was clean, but one day I come home and my T.V. and gaming system are gone and she is nowhere to be found. So I called the police and reported them stolen and little did I know she had traded those for some drugs. That was really hard on me and I know it was my fault for leaving her alone I guess.

    1. ChristinS profile image42
      ChristinSposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Not your fault, the fault lies solely on the person who misused you and took for granted your kindness.  Fortunately, I've found most people are pretty honest at their core. Sadly, addiction ruins a lot of otherwise good people.  sad.

  4. fpherj48 profile image60
    fpherj48posted 5 years ago

    Oh My, Christin....This requires courage to disclose.  I am digging for the most significant life lesson learned in the hardest way because I'm sorry to say, not many came easily!
    I believe the one that always seems to surface when I'm made to remember is to never form an unwavering opinion of an individual before spending the time, concern and effort to really KNOW them.

    It took me a couple of tries to get this right and I'm still a bit angry with myself for this small-minded behavior.  I'm happy to say I've not let this happen for a very long time.

    I learned a great deal with just this one mistake I'd made a few times.
    1st of all, the most obvious being it's simply not FAIR
    I can't figure out what I was thinking at the time that gave me the right to be so judgmental
    I actually discovered in time just how wrong i could be
    and to tell you the truth, I've come to be the exact opposite now, giving people all benefit of doubt and I learned to LISTEN....with much more than my ears.

    1. ChristinS profile image42
      ChristinSposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely an honest answer that I totally respect.  It takes courage to face our flaws, acknowledge and then work to fix them.  The mark of a truly remarkable person.  Thanks for sharing that.

  5. word55 profile image74
    word55posted 5 years ago

    Life itself. I had to touch the fire in order to know it was too hot (in many cases). I had a very hard head. My mom used to say "a hard head makes a soft ass." That is so true but one particular lesson I learned was, you can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. That was really learned the hard way. She told me that the neighborhood that I lived in was boring and not enough action. I said wuuud? Eventually, I ended up sending her back there as a good riddance.

    1. ChristinS profile image42
      ChristinSposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I think it definitely takes strength of character and perseverance to overcome difficult circumstances and some of the best people were born into less than stellar conditions and learned to thrive.  Thanks for sharing.

  6. MizBejabbers profile image90
    MizBejabbersposted 5 years ago

    I've learned that, unless you are a hermit,  you really have no control over your life because there are too many other people who are players on your stage. Your mom gets sick, your husband becomes an alcoholic and drug addict and you have to leave him and your children hate you for it, your sister commits suicide, relationships with the other sex go sour for seemingly no reason. You know, that kind of thing. Even when you study a venture and it seems like a 100% winner, some unknown factor kicks in and kicks you in the ass. I know because I own three houses and only planned to own one. It's like they stick to me like glue and the only way I can get rid of them is to virtually give them away. I feel like I have a tiger by the tail. People who think they are in control may be, temporarily. Look at all the high-flying executives who are now out of work or are working for minimum wages. At least I have a  good paying job in my field, but I should be retired by now.

    1. fpherj48 profile image60
      fpherj48posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Miz B......Oh yeah...THAT LESSON TOO !!!!  FOR DAMNED SURE!!

    2. ChristinS profile image42
      ChristinSposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      True, we can never control outside circumstances. All we can control is how we approach them and how we allow them to impact us.  I've always found that getting stuck on plans never works out!

  7. M. T. Dremer profile image92
    M. T. Dremerposted 5 years ago

    Mom isn't always right. I love my mother, but when I asked her advice about some chest pains she suggested it might be an esophagus-related virus going around. So I took pepto-bismol and tried to wait it out. A few days later I was in the emergency room, discovering that the sack around my heart was inflamed. I'm fine now, but it was probably the worst way to learn that lesson.

    1. ChristinS profile image42
      ChristinSposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Definitely always use your intuition and listen to your own body! My mother in law just learned this too. She was having shoulder pain and said I think i'm having a heart attack, dad dismissed it at first, but took her to ER anyway, and sure enough.

  8. rmmercer profile image75
    rmmercerposted 5 years ago

    That even though others mistreated me, it was ultimately my decision to allow it to continue and make many bad decisions according to their negativity. For instance, you make a plan with your sister and your husband throws a fit about it as soon as he finds out. You cancel your plans just because its easier than dealing with the rude attitude. After doing that 40 times, you say, "He never 'let's me' do anything..." Really? No, I made that decision based on fear of rejection and a desperate need to please. Funny that my appeasements rarely worked. It was hard to take responsibility; especially after stitching this pattern for years.

    1. ChristinS profile image42
      ChristinSposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I've seen this pattern often in certain family members.  I'm so glad you saw it for what it was; that takes strength to admit and I hope that now you can make different choices for yourself.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)