WHAT EXACTLY would YOU say to a person who is merely meandering throughout life, not living up
to his/her potential & wasting what is the precious gift of life?
We all have to walk our path in our own way. I would encourage that person by pointing out the talent/skill they have that I find special and perhaps share ideas for them to use it casually, but I wouldn't dream of telling someone that they are wasting their life simply because I don't happen to agree with how they use their time or talents.
My mother is a great artist, she gave up a lot of her dreams to be a nurse which she doesn't enjoy all that much. I have made suggestions on how she could make a bit of side money with her art and tell her all the time how talented she is (and so do others). She doesn't do what she could with it; but I learned to let it go. Her path is hers and she has to make her own choices. Beyond encouragement, it's up to the individual to decide what to do with their potential.
"Meandering" is often only in the eyes of the beholder. If one person "beholds meandering" then there's a really good chance that the person in question has sensed that the other feels free to judge. As a result, the one with some talent of some kind (or many talents, for that matter) may well know exactly what his priorities (maybe even plans) are at a given time, maybe be keeping his interests/plans to himself until he has something more concrete to share.
I'm not in the business of judging other people. Neither am I in the business of assuming I know that because I don't see them doing something that can't possibly be doing anything. And, neither do I offer unsolicited advice about what someone else should do unless/until the person asked me.
Someone who APPEARS to someone else to be "meandering" may be, say, young and trapped on a modest income because he has the good sense not to want to be homeless AND to prefer to be independent (even if that may mean, say, needing room-mates for a time). If someone feeling tempted to judge would ask the person AND listen to him then it often becomes clear that it's not a case of "aimless meandering"".
I refuse to judge a situation that I can't possibly understand (unless I were a mind-reader, which no one is, of course). And, I refuse to be such a narcissist that I would assume a) just because I don't see someone's aims, efforts, plans in concrete form, and b) the because I don't/can't see what's in the person's mind and/or personal life (when I'm not around) that "must mean" there's "nothing" in the person's mind/plans.
In meandering, am I to assume this person has not created and started working towards goals? Some people don't know how. Otherwise, I would say that there is the possibility of depression. Depression saps motivation, energy, and the ability to think clearly and make good decisions. Many people who are depressed don't even realize it.
What I would do and say would depend on my relationship with that person. I would certainly offer this person encouragement and a chance to talk.
Our society makes the mistake of measuring people by their economic value and social values. I.E., the person who makes more money is better, the person with higher degrees is better than one who has just a bachelors, the person who volunteers more places is better than the one who stays home with the kids. This is understandable and easy to do, but it isn't right.
Are they good people, not committing crimes or lying, cheating, deceiving? Are they paying their social and financial debts? Are they honoring commitments to spouses and children? Do they support themselves, their families, the organizations they believe in? If so, they are good people and that should be good enough.
Hmmm. I'd say, "I get it now, Dad.", since he was always telling me how he worried about me & the 'wasted potential' he saw.
Nothing anyone can say to anyone else about how they live their life will have the slightest impact - until the one wasting their life sees it themselves.
Just speaking from my own personal experiences. *sigh*
by paradigm search2 years ago
All theories are welcome.My lab rat theory is well known. Happy to discuss and hear other theories.
by Grace Marguerite Williams2 years ago
YOU know that YOU'RE are merely existing, leading a fear-based life when_______________(fill in the blanks)
by Grace Marguerite Williams3 years ago
What do so many people live a life of utter penance, viewing life as merely a prison sentenceto which the only respite/release is death?
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