How to Read People As a Book by Val Karas

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   Jodahposted 2 years ago

   This is an extremely interesting article by Val describing the different states of mind.
   
   https://hubpages.com/health/How-to-Read … ike-a-Book

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for sharing this one John.
      
      Val...
      You are right.  We are influenced by the way we were raised.
      
      I'm certain it has a life long effect on us.
      
      But i do believe we can change...although it's not easy.
      
      But we don't have to stay in the same realm that we are accustomed too.
      
      Your article makes some valid points.
      
      Personally, I don't enjoy the critical aspects that people are stuck inside...we need to see the lighter side of life.

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         Jodahposted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks for reading, Brenda. I have to agree with you that people can change and don’t have to always be confined to one or two of those boxes. We may not see ourselves as others do either.

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      tsmogposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, it was interesting as well as being a reminder of T/A. I first learned of Harris' book; I'm OK - You're OK way back in '75 as a book recommended to me by my reading professor at college. I gained more understanding of it while studying Freud's ego states.
      
      I use principles from it combined with sociology's Symbolic Interactionism's theory of the 'I' and 'Me' by George Herbert Meade. Of course, they both are about the 'Self', which has been explored going way back to Socrates saying "Know thy Self". However, it was good to read a good reminder of what has been learned, and most likely will keep those principles at the forefront of my mind.
      
      So, Thanks Val for posting your article and you, Jodah, for presenting it to us to enjoy and  learn from . . .

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   Misbah786posted 2 years ago

   Thank you so much for sharing, Mr. Val’s article, John.
   Mr. Val, that was an intriguing read. I believe we came on this planet with an empty mind, much like a Format usb drive; we are what we learned, saw, and experienced. We can become whatever we want to become, the human brain is a fascinating thing, we can constantly evolve and grow, there is no such thing as being "stuck in one mentality." By the way, I think the Epilog section was probably the main reason you created this article. Just my observations. Lol!
   It is good to praise yourself but practicing it very often is not so good. Lol!
   
   Come on, we all know and have learned by heart what you think of everyone consistently appearing on the feed and supporting each other. We love doing it as a Community.
   
   
   “You are either supporting the vision or supporting division”
   ― Saji Ijiyemi
   
   
   Have a great Sunday! Best wishes and Blessings to you and your loved ones!

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   Vladimir - Val Karasposted 2 years ago

   First of all, I'm happy that you find the article interesting, so I didn't type almost 3000 words for nothing but for my own fun.
   Basically, I've seen a lot of people "believing that we can change" -- while no one is changing. There was a book dealing with T/A titled "I'm O.K., You're O.K."., and I believe that it's perfectly fine when people choose not to change -- because some others do, and that's O.K. as well.
   Going smart about changing while not doing it is O.K. too -- to each their own.
   Misbah dear, actually I only reposted my article from many years ago, much before I closed my account for the first time. That time we had "Questions & Answers" and there was an open discussion about it. No one thought that I was writing it to "praise" myself.
   Actually, I mentioned it quite a few times, that I don't "brag", I share my satisfaction about myself and my life, just like others may share their sadness or loneliness, or a good thing happening in their life. I count on people understanding that, but it ultimately makes no difference if they don't, and if they interpret it the way they emotionally respond to the article, where their "observation" is colored by it.
   Brenda dear, I agree, we should focus more on the bright side of life, and then we would accomplish more than merely intellectually just believing that change is possible.
   We all have our niche, and I write for people who may find my stuff a little intellectually challenging -- just like others may write their own style poetry, or write about cooking, travels, whatever. We are just different people with different intellectual preferences -- and no one is better or worse than the other.
   Which is to say that my stuff is far from claiming to be "universally" interesting. There are professional satirists leading a happy life, not bitterly "spreading division", but hoping that their observations may serve as eye-openers to some people, while knowing that others will react differently.
   By all means, it was interesting to read your comments.
   John, buddy, thanks for sharing the article.
   All have yourselves a wonderful Sunday.

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Somewhere...not sure in what box...I have that book.
      I'm okay...You're okay.

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      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for sharing that, Mr. Val. Perhaps no one said that when you first posted it because they were not as brave as I am. Lol! Just kidding.
      Don't you think I'm also praising myself?
      Happy Monday! Have a wonderful week!
      Best wishes and Blessings!

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Glad you enjoyed my insight.

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   Farah N Huqposted 2 years ago

   ok....so I believe I am an observant adult, a not-ok child and I keep switching between a critical parent and a supportive parent... What do I do now, Mr. Val?
   Additional point: my father was a critical parent and my mother was a supportive, in fact overtly supportive one...

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   Vladimir - Val Karasposted 2 years ago

   Farah dear -- the question is, which of the mind's states is dominant in you. We all have all 3 pairs in our mental makeup, and it depends on their inner dynamics, what prevails.
   So, as long as you are feeling satisfied with their interaction, there is nothing to do there. If you are not, use your Observant Adult to retrain your brain into some new neural pathways by repeating more those responses which you want to keep. It's the science of neuroplasticity, which tells us that "brain cells which fire together -- wire together", and whatever we don't use, we lose, meaning those unwanted patterns of experiencing.
   We are not helpless observers of what is "happening to us", but we have a choice over it. Now, we should bring "spirit" into play, with willpower, intent,  which is a combination of our O.K. Child and Observer Adult. It's our O.K. Child which want s to live, to expand, to grow, and outgrow whatever is not life-promoting. As a figure of speech -- it's O.K. Child pressing on the gas pedal, and Observer Adult holding the steering wheel.
   Thank you for responding, my friend.

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   Vladimir - Val Karasposted 2 years ago

   Tim -- Thank you for an interesting response. I am not familiar with Symbolic Interactionism; however, at the mention of Socrates, memories take me back to my late teens when I went nuts over philosophy, reading Socrates, Aristotle, Baruch Spinoza, Voltaire, Jean Jacques Rousseau, Herbert Spencer, Bertrand Russell, Jean Paul Sartre...they are the only the ones that I can remember now. Then I went crazy about the Easter Thought, Zen Buddhism, Sufism, yoga, qigong, shamanism...
   Of course, of psychologists, there was Freud, Adler, Jung, Horney, Fromm.. all the way to the modern times thinkers like Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Bruce Lipton, Dr. Robert Lanza...
   LOL...I'd better stop before I get accused (again) of bragging. Something about you is telling me that you won't take it that way.
   Indeed, I am merely sharing my studious adventurism -- not advertising anything. If anything, I don't mind others to know that I am not only using my head for wearing a hat.
   Thanks again, my friend, I am glad my article reminded you of your own studious research.

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   Vladimir - Val Karasposted 2 years ago

   Misbah dear -- While we are at "kidding", let me contribute to humor with my modest observance that you are not really a "brave" person -- but emotionally very delicate, gentle, profoundly deep.
   I have done my homework over some decades to minimize my ego through self-discipline that might give someone gentle as you a nervous breakdown. So, in my case it's never about "praising myself" -- I don't need that food for my ego. While it is obviously hard for you to accept, I am simply sharing my joy of living, of being, of evolving --- at times hoping that might sound inspirational to others -- not like a self-promoting.
   And this very moment I am not "defending" myself, but clarifying things, because I respect your intellect enough to care about your conclusions going wildly colored by feelings that you got from my article.
   Enjoy your Monday, dear soul, and don't worry your beautiful head too much.

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      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Haha! I was sure something would be coming my way. Lol! Those who know me well know how brave I am or not. Self-promotion isn't harmful all the time!
      It is always a joy to exchange ideas with you.
      Enjoy your day, Mr. Val.

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   Vladimir - Val Karasposted 2 years ago

   Misbah, querida -- Lol -- You win - I lose. You say you are brave, so you must be brave. I must have misunderstood some of your articles and poems. What can I say -- I am a bad "Observer", that's it. I should stop making silly claims about people if I am making such mistakes. Maybe I should change my niche altogether, let's say, start writing about cooking recipes --oh no!!! -I might poison someone! Lol.
   Are we having a sweet little argument here? If yes, then I give up, I'll let you have the last word -- I promise I'll keep my big mouth shut, no matter what you tell me next. Lol. So, don't spare me, kick my old ass!

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      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Haha! No, no! No arguments; you already lost the match. Lol! Have a great day, Mr. Val!

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   Jodahposted 2 years ago

   I love the exchanges some of these threads generate

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      Misbah786posted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Haha

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      Brenda Arledgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      It's amazing...
      I actually enjoy reading everyone's thoughts.

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    Adnan Vastaposted 2 years ago

    Mr. Val
    You write one of the best article. Really interesting topic. You have covered important points.
    
    Thank you

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