Life or Abort: After reading this is abortion really all that bad?

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  1. Sundaymoments profile image61
    Sundaymomentsposted 12 years ago

    I just read a hub that touched my heart in a massive heart wrenching way the article was talking about abortion and certainly was supportive to Pro-Life.

    After reading the hub I sat back and thought what my life would have been like with out my children. My conclusion is that I would not have been as complete and as happy as I am on this day.

    However as the liberal person that I am I also began thinking about life choices and the way of this world during the hard  times we all have to face daily.

    I began thinking about those parents who could not offer the child a life of safety and happiness; further I also began thinking about the life of a child living in a government system that acts as the parent of a child.

    The child had been forced into the care of the government with very little offered to the child.

    I know when children are in the care of the government very little expense is allotted for the care of each child so then I began thinking is aborting a child really as bad as they say it is by aborting is the mother stopping the child of a life time of struggles and failures?

    After reading my thoughts on this subject what is your honest and bold thoughts on this very sensitive life changing subject?

    1. profile image56
      DkSkochposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I am sharing my story on the hubs I do not know how to even tell you how to access it to read it,as I am quite new and just getting the hang of it.  However,  I share my own experience with facing the decision of a totally necesary and recomended abortion for medcal purposes.  Which by the way, is very, very rare.
      i was told I would not live to give birth to my first son. 
      i was told I was possibly insane when  days  away from a bone marrow transplant I learned I was pregnant once again.  Worse off with elite medical organization's washing there hands of me. Pleading with me to save myself, and abort!
      I did not.
      I live.
      I met my youngest son for the second time.  On his 1st birthday.
      My sons are 7 and 9 years old.  They are amazing and brilliant and proof beyond any reasonable doubt that Fetus's are human beings, knit together and held together by  a Creator that is Bigger and more merciful that is willing to show Himself through miricles and great and mighty wonders even in a meager one such as myself.

      1. couturepopcafe profile image59
        couturepopcafeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Dk - Wonderful testimony.  Thanks for sharing it.

  2. WryLilt profile image90
    WryLiltposted 12 years ago

    I am halfway between the two views - although I lean slightly more towards pro-life.

    However, after having some of my own hardships - I say that should not influence the abortion choice.

    Why? Because hardships either break or make a person.

    And if the hardship makes you, you can go on to do great things.

    1. Sundaymoments profile image61
      Sundaymomentsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      WryLilt you and stand on the same morals when it comes to this subject; Thanks for posting on this thread!!

  3. profile image0
    klarawieckposted 12 years ago

    I don't like abortion. Never had. But I also understand that there are cases where abortion is the best choice - such as when it's caused by rape, or the mother's life is in danger.
    From a spiritual point of view, the soul has not fully reincarnated in the fetus until the moment of birth, and it is believed that the soul understands the situation and is willing to come back at a later date, when the mother is ready to bring him/her into her life. If the couple is not ready, the soul can always choose different parents. However, the thought of disposing of something so precious as life-in-the-making is disturbing to me.

    1. Sundaymoments profile image61
      Sundaymomentsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      As far as reincarnation and the spirit coming back I have never studied on those principals so I cannot say I understand you way of thinking. However I agree that we all have our way of believing and with this said I support your opinions.

  4. Specialk3749 profile image60
    Specialk3749posted 12 years ago

    I did a study (and a hub) on the consequeces of abortion to the mother because I did not realize there were so many things that could happen to her physically as well as mentally.  I do not think that abortion is worth taking those risks.  I do not believe in killing babies either, but I believe that there hasn't been enough said to warn mothers what may happen.

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes in my hub about that comparing slavery to aboriton, I noted that mothers who are not wared can have after effects physically like: never have children again, herestrocetomy, and much worse even life threatning infections.  The emotional damage can be even worse such as depression and sucidalness.  They realize after what actuaally happend.  It's very sad.

      I am pro life. And I know it is hard in certain situations to be pro life or stay that way for women who face difficault choices like being raped or rushed to make a decision etc.  it can take alot of inner strenth to make the choice for life and some make mistakes and God forgives......
      But being educated helps a great , and if they knew beforehand the risks and mental/emotinal pain etc besides the scientific facts well I think most would not do it.
      It's a money making business also. And it doesn't really support women, most, because they don't often realize what's going on, are not told the truth and then it's too late.

      1. kerryg profile image83
        kerrygposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        You don't think the emotional damage has anything to do with all the people calling them "murderers" and "baby killers?"

        Judge not, lest ye be judged...

        Physical damage in countries where abortion is legal is extremely rare. Complications requiring hospitalization occur in only 0.3% of abortions in the United States, and only 1 in 1,000,000 women who receive abortions in the US die as a result of complications from the abortion. That's significantly lower than the US rate of maternal death in childbirth, which is 13 deaths for every 100,000 live births.

        In countries where abortion is illegal, the rate of complications from abortion is substantially higher, as many as 1 in 3 in some regions. Complications from unsafe abortions performed in illegal clinics are the second most frequent cause of death for teenagers and women of childbearing age in the developing world, behind only childbirth.

  5. swapna123 profile image60
    swapna123posted 12 years ago

    I don't support abortion, but have come across people who have taken the decision when they came to know that their child would be born with disabilities or when the mother's life is at stake. In such cases, maybe it is okay.
    However, I feel bad when I see people aborting their child claiming they are not yet prepared for it. It seems so illogical as it's so easy to prevent pregnancy. In India, we also have some parents who want only a boy child and resort to abortion if it's a girl. I find that quite shameful and disgusting.
    We can only preach about the pros and cons. There's no way to have a rule in place against abortion. If a mother herself doesn't want the child, then there is no point in bringing it to the world. Being unloved and uncared for is worse.

    1. cathylynn99 profile image76
      cathylynn99posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      i know someone who aborted because she keenly felt the absence of a good father in her own life. she saw the fetus' father as repeating the same and wouldn't wish that on anyone. no birth control is 100% effective and hers failed.

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
        schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        that's too bad.

    2. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      even if it will have bith defects i don't think we should be playing God
      just a thought

    3. gqgirl profile image70
      gqgirlposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I actually agree with that 100%. Being unwanted will only make it worse.

  6. Karanda profile image79
    Karandaposted 12 years ago

    The advice I received after being given the results of an eleven week ultrasound was strongly in favour of aborting a foetus with the possibilities of chromosome abnormality. If I had gone through with that abortion I would have missed the joy of meeting my daughter.

    Yes, she had a chromosomal abnormality and it was one of the worst kinds, Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome, babies are not expected to live more than a few days if they are born alive. Not only did she live till she was eight months young she touched the hearts and souls of everyone she met in a very short time.

    Her life was not always easy and there were many days I agonsied over my decision to follow through with the pregnancy - what right did I have to bring her into the world not knowing how easy or difficult her days would be but then I realised who am I to decide if a baby should live or die? The eight months in my womb, followed by the eight months Emily was alive was her journey. It was never for me to interrupt a moment of that, after all that was her life.

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I think we all are capable of suffering in this life, even if it's after age 30 etc and we all need to be appreciated -the sanctitiy of life.............I guess what I mean is that many disabled children/people are very inspirational and do have a purpose--when you think of it in God's way........he is the author of life and is therefore pro life.

      Others who are not believers in God I understand are more likely to be pro choice or pro abortion becase they don't think the same way.

  7. cathylynn99 profile image76
    cathylynn99posted 12 years ago

    A 6 - 8 wk fetus doesn't have a nervous system and feels no pain from abortion.

    1. Karen Wilton profile image61
      Karen Wiltonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      But any foetus is potential life. Who decides if that foetus has a right to live or die?

    2. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      not sure bu the problem w/ clinics is they abort up to 9mo
      called the 1st, 2nd and 3rd trimester
      1st up to 3 mo
      2nd up to 6
      3rd up to 9

  8. ChristinaScibona profile image71
    ChristinaScibonaposted 12 years ago

    I believe that abortion is a personal choice much like religion and marriage.  A person has to do what they feel is right for them.  I would never have an abortion, but that is me.  I am married and have wanted children my whole life, however that is not the same situation that a young girl may be in.  I agree with the OP that although I do not like the idea, for some people it is the only option that they have (or they think they have).

  9. nasus loops profile image67
    nasus loopsposted 12 years ago

    I personally do not agree with abortion as too many people seem to use it as a form of contraception.  There is no need for the majority of pregnancies that occur.  I can not say for other countries, but in the United Kingdom contraception is available free of charge from family planning clinics and doctor surgeries, so there is no excuse. 

    Yes accidents happen, the pill may not work, but this usually happens because the person taking it has not taken it correctly.  Maybe they have been on antibiotics, therefore reducing the affect of the contraception and not taken appropriate precautions such as condoms etc. 

    However, saying all that, there are times when abortion should be considered.  If there is serious health issues for mum or baby then it should be thought about.  Also if the woman has been assualted, then it should be appropriate that the woman wishes to have an abortion.

  10. risatungol profile image60
    risatungolposted 12 years ago

    I am 7 months pregnant and am single. Recently I had been involved in a relationship with a married guy. When he learned about my pregnancy, he told me that I should have an abortion right away.

    When I learned that I was pregnant, I knew in my heart that I was happy. But at that time, I knew that I was in a lot of trouble. I was working in a cruise ship that time (around June 2010) and my contract ends in October. I also learned that my dad needs to go through radiotherapy due to a cancerous tumor found under his nasal cavity. While I was at the ship, I found out that the guy I was with was also sleeping with another woman. I figured that I would not be getting any help and I thought of having an abortion. But everytime I think about it, I realize how this small person inside of me cannot rely on anyone but me to save her. If I lose her, I would never know what it feels like to have someone who needs me as much as my child would. And I don't know how the guilt of killing your own child would ever go away. So I decided that if i ever have to stand up for something, even if it means that I would lose my job, hurt my parents, and end up being struggling as a single mother, then this would be it. Hardships are consequences of our actions, and we have to accpet them, but abortion is not the answer.

    1. nasus loops profile image67
      nasus loopsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well said risatungol.

      I hope that all goes well for you and your family if the tough times ahead.  You made a brave decision where many would have taken the easy option out and had the abortion. 

      You are right, consequences are a result of OUR actions and we do have to accept them.

      1. risatungol profile image60
        risatungolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        thanks smile nasus loops. Godbless you and your family too.

        I like what wrylilt said too.. if it hardships doesn't break you, then you'd go on to do better things. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

    2. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      beautiful, very happy for you. I think God will surely bless you and your decision.

      1. risatungol profile image60
        risatungolposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        thanks. smile Godbless you

    3. Karanda profile image79
      Karandaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I wish you many wonderful years with your child and hope there is no hardship in your life. The gift of life is priceless and I admire your decision. Many blessings.

  11. Catering101 profile image61
    Catering101posted 12 years ago

    I always believed in pro life, whatever the circumstances of the pregnancy is. Every child born who might just grow up to be someone useful to the society, should never be taken for granted.

    A woman might consider her unborn child unwanted but she always has a choice of letting the child be adopted rather than killing the helpless child. Whether still a small fetus or not, any unborn child is considered her own flesh and blood and aborting is already murder in a way. It's always a child's right to live...

    Check me Out!

  12. couturepopcafe profile image59
    couturepopcafeposted 12 years ago

    If our parents waited until they could afford kids, most of us would have been aborted.

    1. profile image0
      china manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      And why would that have been such a bad thing ?  We would never have become aware of ourselves and so it would not have mattered in any way to anyone.

      1. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
        schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        lol lol

  13. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
    schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago

    in that case people should abstain or use a good birth control....method to prevent any pregnancy.

  14. gqgirl profile image70
    gqgirlposted 12 years ago

    I can't say that I lean either way on the subject of abortion. I've always thought that it was the woman's choice. Granted I grew up in a faimly that didn't have anything and my mom was a drug addict/alcoholic and lost us to foster care when I was only 7 years old. Not all the experiences were bad ones, I had mostly very loving foster homes. I understand that this isn't always the case for every child and the circumstances and homes that they are placed in aren't always the most pleasant. I know, I've been in a few. But I'm glad, that even though I'm my mothers first child and she was young and wild when she had me, that she didn't abort me. I grew up to be a strong and independent woman because of the struggles I faced. And those struggles that kids face today can be overcame. It's a matter of choice if you live the way your parents did or go out there and actually make something of yourself. You always have a choice. Just like with abortion, I say it is the womans choice. I had a child also when I was 18 years of age. I knew that I would never be able to fully give that child what he deserved. I was young with a low paying job and didn't want my child to grow up in the system nor did I want to be dependant on the welfare system, so I gave him up for adoption. He is now almost 9 years old and lives with the best people around they give and do things for him that I know I never could have been able to do. And for that I'm grateful. I didn't abort him because I knew in my heart that someone out there could do better by him. And I feel like I had that child for the purpose of lighting up someone elses life. So take it how you want. Abortion is always a choice.

  15. aware profile image66
    awareposted 12 years ago

    Life is certainly a struggle . Unwanted  for whatever reason by the living .Its determined " it wouldn't stand a chance  " Abort Its Mission. There are 40 million abortions world wide every year. In that 40 million  there is one needle in the haystack.One man or woman that might have had all the answers were looking for.

    Wheres our cure for cancer? Engines that run on air? World peace,and a end to hunger?   
    They were unwanted  and then discarded.
    thrown into the pail.

  16. Lisa HW profile image61
    Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

    I'm not a "fan" of abortion, but I think there are things worse than aborting a very early pregnancy.  A lot of people (who are already here and capable of thinking about the issue) say, "I'm glad I wasn't aborted."   I'm here, had "the best parents in the world" and have a fairly decent life; but I think, "You know what - if my mother had aborted her pregnancy with me, maybe I would have been just as well off.   lol   Honestly.  Even the best and most rewarding lives can make a person sort of wish he were never born.   lol   (but I'm being serious here, even if I'm making light of it)

    As with most things in life, though, I think whether any individual choice in early pregnancy is "better" than the alternative depends on the individual circumstances and person involved.

    I have to say I don't care for the "life of failure and struggle" angle, because failure and struggle are different things to different people.  I can't even say I go for the argument about kids in government care.  One of children was adopted (from infancy).  While it's true that children in government care (and adopted children too) may be at higher risk of being abused and/or mistreated, a whole lot of kids with their own mothers are abused, neglected, and mistreated before the government discovers what's going on and after a lot of damage has been done.  I knew someone once who offered foster babies and kids far more love, care, education support, and even material indulgences than a lot of kids with their own parents don't get.   I also know a couple who specifically became foster parents in order to be able to adopt two infant girls.  These aren't the only good, loving, foster parents in the world (even if many are not).  Also, the government generally does aim to get children back with their parents.   While I have my own axe to grind with the court system and governments, the overall aim (even if individuals often fail within it) is to keep kids with their bio families, or return them to them.

    However, there are girls and women who know that there's no way they could put a child up for adoption, and there are girls and women who shouldn't have a baby.  Two of my children are ones I had myself, and there's way I would have been capable of handing them over for adoption.  Even if I went through such a horrible thing, I wouldn't have wanted to live my life knowing one of them is "out there".  That's my maternal instinct and bond with them, I guess; but not all girls and women who have babies have that maternal instinct or potential to bond.  Sometimes, too, girls and women have already been through so much "awfulness" in their lives, expecting them to go through a pregnancy and give up the baby may be far too much to expect of some young women.  As far as the baby goes, there's a whole lot of messing up and damaging that can happen when an unfit mother is the only thing an infant has until the government figures out she's harmed him.

    No child could ever have been more treasured (not just by me but our extended family) than my son was, and no adult could be loved more; but if I separate him and us from his birth mother, who had a bunch more kids; she's really not someone who should have been having babies.  The thing is, though, that woman, herself, apparently came from a really bad situation and upbringing.  The government only (as far as I know) got the baby she seriously, physically, hurt very very early on.  I don't know what the rest of those people turned out like.

    People like serial killers are either people raised by their own bad parents, by one or more foster parents, or else a mix of parents and non-parents.  In the case of them, maybe a whole lot of horror and heartache for a whole lot of people (including, sometimes, their own mothers) would have been eliminated; and everyone (including the severely damaged killer) would have been better off had there been an early abortion.

    The young girl who has been mistreated all her life and who thinks a baby will make her happy, or make her boyfriend marry her, shouldn't really be expected to go through more awfulness; and if she has her baby she and the baby (although not always) may suffer (in any number of ways and forever) more than either of them would if there weren't an abortion.

    So, while I think there are things that are "worse" than early abortion, I'm not sure there's a way to "add specifics" beyond that, because those "specifics" are based on individual circumstances for the mother and the baby she will or won't have.

    (and I'm not a Liberal, by the way)

  17. Cagsil profile image77
    Cagsilposted 12 years ago

    Life or Abort: After reading this is abortion really all that bad?

    I've only one question in return- Did you choose to be born? hmm

    If you did have a choice, then you would be the first. hmm

    Enough said. hmm

    1. schoolgirlforreal profile image75
      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I don't want to cause a ""rukus!!!

      But I would have chosen only because I believe in Heaven and I'm planning on going there.
      But ,,,if I didn't believe in God...................
      I prob would agree w/ you big_smile

      1. Cagsil profile image77
        Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this


        1. Druid Dude profile image59
          Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          wHAT NEXT? We could line everyone up, and those that we find even slightly inconveniencing our lives, we just cap 'em. C'mon, do you really wannna go there? Dr. Mengele, the experiment is working, WONDERFULLY. We must call Adolf, AT ONCE! Zeig, zeig zeig.... drop dead.

          1. Cagsil profile image77
            Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Not only do I find your statement in poor taste, but sad. hmm

          2. profile image0
            china manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Still so wound up in writing the noisy words that you can't see that a foetus is not a person.  Still can't see that the woman is the ONLY one in any position to judge what is good for her and her maybe baby.  Still can't see that it is pretty much nothing to do with you what other people choose to do.

  18. jdunbar profile image60
    jdunbarposted 12 years ago

    All I know is that I believe choosing life is the right thing to do.  I don't care if scientists have decided at which point life begins or all other aspects about that.  I realize people have all sorts of reasons for their decisions.  It may be whatever circumstance their in or whatever tough road that may lie ahead.  Or hey, how about the children brought into this world only to be neglected and unloved or abused. I bet if they could have chose they may have wished to not have been brought into this world.  But.. once again, I base my decision on the bare basics.  I can't determine by circumstance since we never know how things may go.  All I know is to start at that moment and I would always choose LIFE!

  19. mypleasurefantasy profile image78
    mypleasurefantasyposted 12 years ago

    I am neither pro life or pro choice, but I do agree with both and don't agree with both.

    Being a single mom, and getting pregnant was the best thing and the worse (I want to choke my child daily) thing that I went through in my life. I got pregnant at 23, with someone whom I thought was the "right choice" at the time, we were talking marriage and spending our lives together. Man, was I wrong, and when we found out I was pregnant he immediately pushed for an abortion. I however disagreed because this was a blessing to me. Chose to keep my son, and went through complication after complication and made it. He unfortunately isn't a part of his life, his loss, but my fiancee is making up for that lost time, and becoming a father to my son.

    Had I aborted, I would have never met my son, and never met my fiancee, and no clue where I would be in life right now.

    As far as abortion, if you're raped, then I see no need for someone to carry that guilt for nine months, and then give that child up for adoption; meanwhile a few years go and the child wants to know what happened. Creates too much stress on every party involved. Is it a form of birth control, no, that's why man invented condoms and birthcontrol pills and IUD's. So if your stupid, then learn and grow up; if it was out of your control, like rape, then you should be able to live guilt free. That's my view on it.

    Now being with a friend who was raped by her father and being the strong one to walk her to an abortion clinic, I have never seen in my life, such disgust from other people. What right do people have to call her baby killer? Me personally, would rather give that soul back; then live with the fact my own flesh and blood gave me this "present".

    A lot of that is so contradicting, and most of them are extremely religious by that mean. I have never seen anything like that in my life, and because of them; and I call those people them, because they are undeserving of a title, she ended up killing herself a week later from the guilt.

    As I got jumbled, people should stick to their own beliefs and not push them on others. It's okay to be overly religious or faithful at best, should stick to their own beliefs honestly. I have been to churches where people are along the same mind set of me, and guests in others where these people are insanse and I had to leave.

    Pretty much, in the long run, abortion is a personal choice, and it should stay a personal choice; everyone and their mother should not have a say in what someone does with their body. Same with pregnancy, pregnancy; when wanted, is a personal choice as well, you don't see people going around with picket signs saying "YOU SHOULDN'T GET PREGNANT". So why the discrimination, and why the difference. There are those times when abortion can save a life, whether bad pregnancy, or giving a life back due to horrible circumstances.

    People should just mind their own business to make things short.

  20. Alkonost profile image53
    Alkonostposted 12 years ago

    About two years ago, I was impregnated by a man who was both physically and emotionally abusive.  I remained with him despite how he treated me because his family was very dear to me and I did not want to cause a rift within it.  I was also scared, new to pregnancy and did not want to be alone.  It was impossible to love the man, but I loved my unborn child.  I thought, fairly regularly, that when the baby was born I'd leave with it and make due the best I could, away from the father.  I didn't know whether I would be a good mother, but I was willing to try for the sake of my baby.  I knew that my family would be supportive of my choice to keep the child despite everything, and that if any difficulties would arise my mother was only a phone call away, that she'd have advise for me (as she is a mother of two and was lovely at raising me and my brother) if I should need it.  I grew unimaginably attached to the fetus inside of me, perhaps irrationally so...but I knew in my heart that with my baby I could conquer any obstacles that might rise up before me.

    Two months into the pregnancy, after a particularly bad verbal fight with the unborn baby's father, I ran away from the apartment.  The man found me in a parking lot and beat me.  No one was around to help.  The nearest buildings were all empty and closed for a workers' holiday.  I was not strong enough to fight back against my tormentor.  When he had calmed down enough to stop what he was doing, he carried me back to the car and drove me home.  I felt too broken to do anything about it.  He left me there and went to work.  That same day I had a miscarriage.  I had been sleeping and woke up from the pain.  It was a long process and one of the most traumatic things that has happened to me thus far in my life--to lose the thing that my dearest hopes were resting upon.  Even if the fetus has no awareness at that age, I had felt a bond to mine.  I was devastated when that was ripped away from me.

    For six months I could feel nothing but pure emptiness.  I ended the relationship with my abusive boyfriend, and did my best to ignore the horrible messages he'd leave on my answering machine.  My family saw that I was falling apart but at that point I felt that I couldn't share my pain with them.  The few people who had found out about my miscarriage tried to reassure me by suggesting that it "just wasn't meant to be"...but I quickly grew tired of hearing that.  I don't know if a miscarriage can ever be "meant to be".  It is so gruesome.  I have thought about the argument that God might have been saving my baby from the horrors of life, but then I remember that I had a plan...that God could never want what happened to happen.  It was all up to one horrible person who was deranged enough to beat his pregnant girlfriend.

    Eventually I recovered, at least as much as one can in such a situation.  A year after my loss, a friend of mine became pregnant unexpectedly and I did my best to give her advice.  She asked me whether or not she should get an abortion, told me that the situation was not good, that there would be no support and she would likely have trouble affording even the hospital bill for birthing her child.  I told her that I felt abortion to be a personal choice, but that I could never do it.  She came to the conclusion to keep her baby, and I told her that I respected her for it.  That I'd be there for her for moral support, that she should try to just take things one step at a time, because even when things get hard you just have to keep going...

    But at six weeks the doctors determined that she was threatening to miscarry.  They determined that a miscarriage could kill her due to her current state of health (she had been addicted to drugs at a point in her life, and although she overcame that there are still complications due to long-term heavy drug use) they told her that she needed to have an emergency abortion before the miscarriage could happen.  They told her that there was a 90% chance that it was going to happen, that she was showing all of the signs.  She did not want an abortion, loved her unborn child just as much as I had loved the one that I lost.  But with pressure from the doctors and from her family she accepted the abortion pill, which causes the hormones of the pregnancy to cease, at which point another pill is swallowed that causes the uterus to contract.  According to my friend, the medicine was foul and caused her to gag.  Once she swallowed it, it made her excessively nauseous and the pain was the worst she'd had in her life.  She vomited, and was afraid that the pill would not work.  But it did, and the abortion was a success.  She was an emotional wreck for weeks afterwards, and still becomes immensely depressed around the season that her baby was lost (around Christmastime, unfortunately).

    Now, I do not know what to think about abortion.  It is, no doubt about it, a traumatic experience.  But as the case with my friend shows, sometimes it is necessary.  I will always thank God that my friend is alive, even if the baby was lost.  She has a future, a future in which she can hopefully bring lives into the world at a time when life will be fairer to her.  There is a risk that she might not be able to conceive again, but I know she won't give up hope.  One day she will make a fantastic mother.

    But I am in a dilemma at present.  I am currently in a stable relationship, but have been very careful about having protected sex.  Unfortunately, one night the condom slipped a bit and my partner and I realized it too late.  We determined that the risk of pregnancy was very small, amazingly small, impossible even...but I am showing the symptoms of early pregnancy.  The incident happened early in the month, a couple of days after my last period (that had been adding to our thoughts that pregnancy was unlikely, as the timing is not quite right).  My next period should be due in the upcoming days. 

    The problem is that both my partner and I have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia.  It is recorded that the mental illness is passed down through the family, and I would not wish my (nor his) fate on any child.  Although both me and my current partner are functioning, we suffer.  What's more, I am not in perfect health at present, and am on an extended stay far from my home.  I am also on medication that I cannot quit for the sake of my work, but which could cause harm to a developing fetus.  I hope and pray to God that I am not pregnant.  I do not want an abortion, but I think that it might be the only route.  It is very risky for people like myself to conceive, according to doctors at least.  I do not want to put a child at risk, or in the environment that it will be born into should the pregnancy be in fact positive.  Any readers will probably understand why I do not want an abortion...after seeing what my friend went through and going through my on miscarriage.  It's horrible.  But I do not know what to do.  If my period does not come within the week I intend to take a pregnancy test (at which point the results should be accurate).  If it is positive, I have a dire choice to make.  If anyone has any suggestions, please make them.  I would love to hear opinions.

    1. Alkonost profile image53
      Alkonostposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would like to add that I know it might be possible that I am merely experiencing symptoms that are premenstrual, not signalling pregnancy.  I certainly wish that this is the case.  But what I am experiencing feels different than my normal periods.  My body temperature is slightly higher than normal and my breasts are sore and heavy (they have been for a while, longer than I am normally used to when premenstrual).  I feel vaguely nauseated at various times during the day and have occasional, very slight cramping.  That has been going on for about the length of time that my breasts have been hurting.  I have also been lethargic.  And I think that the outer edges of my nipples (the areolae) have gotten darker.  One nipple in particular is slightly darker than the other (unsure what that means).

      One thing that I find odd is that I seem to have lost weight.  I read someplace that that can occur early on in pregnancy, but (again) I hope that is not the case.

      Thanks to all who read.

  21. LondonGirl profile image79
    LondonGirlposted 12 years ago

    Abortion is never a good thing. But sometimes it's the least-worst option there is.

    I am personally pro-life, and politically pro-choice. I cannot see that forcing women to bear children against their will is ever a good idea. The best person to decide if an abortion is necessary is the woman herself, with advice and support from doctors, family, friends etc, as she chooses.

    I don't get the "playing God" idea. Modern life involves choices all the time. Had it not been for a doctor "playing God", I'd never have been born at all, because I was born by a crash caesarian section.

  22. Lupozee profile image60
    Lupozeeposted 12 years ago

    When I saw my sons first scan at 11 weeks and saw his heart beating and his legs moving my first thought after "OMG this is our baby" was how can someone abort a baby because to me it looked like a "proper" baby.
    on the other hand why would someone bring a baby into the world if they know they cannot look after it...
    so im half half depending on the situation

    Personally i wouldnt not after seeing what my baby looked like at 11 weeks.
    I also worked in a pathology lab of my local hospital and would sometimes get aborted babies that I would have to put into the mortuary sad seeing 12 week old babies in a urine pot was just so sad to see.


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