Headed Over 50 and Seeing My Mother in the Mirror

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   GmaGoldieposted 12 years ago

   As I approach 50, I see the same lines, age spots and drooping jowl in the mirror before me.
   
   I am becoming my mother in the mirror.
   
   I fear this will only get worst.
   
   HELP! Get that old woman out of my mirror!

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      Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      **********************
      
      It will take an inner peace and happiness, and a good Cosmetic Surgeon.
      
      I think a lifestyle lift would be better for you. They use lasers but they don't cut you.
      
      My sister looks a lot like my mom, but it's OK, my mom was pretty. The only thing I got from my mom is her lips.
      
      I look like my sisters in a way, but nothing like mom or dad.

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         IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         A 'lifestyle lift' ?
         
         You are kidding right?
         
         Gma, be proud of yourself. You have achieved this great age (and are still younger than me!)
         
         Life is for living. We age. Fact.
         
         It's a matter of accepting ourselves for what we are, who we are, not what we used to be.
         
         We are better now. Like all fine wines (or cheeses for that matter) we mature, and it is best done naturally.

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            Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            *************
            
            Yes I'm a nurse and I see people become proud of themselves after a treatment.
            
            You say for people to be proud of themselves...if they don't like how they look, how are they suppose to do that?

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               IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               This is an American thing, and I think I should just fade into the twilight of this conversation, being non-American.
               
               I'm a nurse too, or was, but hey...whatever floats your boat!
               
               I do not like artificial people, and the moment someone goes under the knife to look like someone they used to be, or someone else, they become artificial.

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                  Uninvited Writerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  I was thinking this when I saw Kathleen Turner on TV today. She looks her age and she hasn't stooped to any sort of plastic surgery. She looks real.

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                     IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Here in Spain we have some character called the Duchess of Alba, who was apparently a beauty in her youth.
                     
                     Now she is an old hag thanks mainly to the plastic surgery offered her in her latter days.
                     
                     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN9KX-DgT98
                     
                     Honest to God, this woman used to make me want to vomit when she appeared on national television, which is almost daily. She is much loved by the people, and the people can get on with it, as far as I am concerned.
                     
                     I would love her more if she was natural.

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                  TLMinutposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  But it isn't necessarily wanting to look like you used to, just not liking the ugliness of drooping and sagging. My white hair started out so weird I just had to enjoy it - it all grayed underneath and the top all stayed brown except a streak down one side in the front. I could add or remove ten years just by using or removing a barette!
                  
                  When I was told once that I could look years younger by coloring my hair, I said I saw no point in looking like I was young; it would be like denying all my kids! Who wants to look like their own kids couldn't belong to them? And then the grandbabies...

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                     IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     I had this very same conversation with my cousin only 12 months ago. She's got beautiful dark brown hair and wanted me to get mine dyed the same.
                     
                     Well no, because a) if I started dying it I have roots to worry about and b) I couldn't give a damn anyway, so its money going to waste.
                     
                     Over the past few years I was so happy to finally get all the dyes cut out of my hair, why would I want to put them back? My hair is peculiar color, or range of colors. It's grey/blonde/brown all at once.
                     
                     Not my problem because I don't have to look at it.

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                     EmpressFelicityposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     I see women around town with 50+ year old faces and obviously dyed hair and it just looks... wrong. Though having said that, my mother dyed her hair when she was in her fifties and sixties (she's dead now) and it worked for her, mainly because she had an almost wrinkle-free face.
                     
                     I started to go grey early and I began by dyeing my hair, but gave up when my roots started showing about a fortnight after each dyeing. Got tired of spending all that money on trips to the hairdresser and "top-ups" of home dye, which did my scalp no good whatsoever and made the bathroom look like the scene of a nasty road accident.
                     
                     I can't see any point in cosmetic surgery myself - it doesn't make you look younger, it just makes you look like a middle-aged person who has had cosmetic surgery. Both surgery and botox sound really scary ("botox" is short for "botulinum toxin" - there's no way I'd let a toxin from a food poisoning bacterium anywhere inside my body).

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                  Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  ***************
                  
                  That's your opinion and I have mine.
                  
                  Is this over now?

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                     Uninvited Writerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     She is stating her opinion, you are stating yours. Don't see an argument where there is none.

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                        Deborah Sextonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        **********
                        
                        She had said some stuff further up.I was ending the conversation. Please take your own advice, Who was talking to you? Don't start with me.

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                           IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                           Woooo! Sounds like a threat!

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      Hollie Thomasposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You should coco, Gma. I look more like my dad everyday!

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      Uninvited Writerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I've been there. Every morning I see my mother's face looking back at me.

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      Deborah Brooksposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I have hit 60 now...and yes I see my mom in the mirror...my hair is white..so I color it...I get facials and I am always at the gym...and I am still getting old....oh well...

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         IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         My mother has dark brown hair still, while me, her daughter, has white hair! Actually I love my hair now, it goes sun-bleached blond in the summer! It's only when I go back to grey Scotland it reverts to a tired-looking grey.
         
         And you know I still don't care. I've had a hard life and it shows. I should be proud of it!

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   Rosie2010posted 12 years ago

   GmaGoldie, I was also horrified when those drooping jowls were starting to show.  Then I found that when I smiled.. Whoa!.. no drooping jowls!  So now I smile all the time.  I may look like a ninny, but a ninny with no drooping jowls.

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      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You look gorgeous in your photo! Smiling is a good habit to get into

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         Rosie2010posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Oh thanks, Izzy.  Smiling makes us look younger.

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      GmaGoldieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You made me chuckle! A grinning I shall go!

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   MelissaBarrettposted 12 years ago

   I haven't seen my mother's face in the mirror yet, but her hands are typing on the keyboard right now.  LOL, do they have botox for hands?

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      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I love that you said that.
      
      I always thought you had an older and wiser head behind you.

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         MelissaBarrettposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         

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      GmaGoldieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Try the Madonna gloves - hides everything except for the great manicure!

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   mega1posted 12 years ago

   I look enough like my mother all my life, I've gotten used to it.  However, I have been wondering lately if the grey hair is a handicap - or a plus!  Some people seem to see it as a wonderful grandmothery thing, others kind of look sad, others kind of seem to say "get out of my way grandma!"  - I can't change much, even if my hair were brown I'd still be this old, so I might as well enjoy it and ignore the inner voice that says, "Oh my, you aren't aging all that well, are you!"    at least I know it is happening to everyone

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   IzzyMposted 12 years ago

   I think we should learn to embrace our age.
   
   Its funny but all my adult life I wondered when I would feel adult, because i never felt it at all until I aged a little.
   
   I suppose I have finally grown up, eh?
   
   I'm 53, almost 54 and I have finally grown up!
   
   So, now that I am officially grown up, is it all right if I tell you how worthless and totally useless you are?
   
   No, because I'd have hated of someone said that to me when I was younger.
   
   We are at that grand old age of gaining respect from the younger ones, but also of having the ability to encourage those who need and deserve it.
   
   Cosmetic surgery is a big no - no is my house, because your looking sexy has nothing to do with my online writing.
   
   And if I looked sexy, why would I be writing online and not out there enjoying life with the latest beau?
   
   So, I accept who I am, and get on with it, where is that Google traffic again?

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   Shanna11posted 12 years ago

   Oh, how I love being young!
   
   In all seriousness though, looking your age is not a bad thing at all! I have more respect for people who are comfortable with the way they look and are proud of the dignified ages they are reaching.
   
   I think I would find looking like my own mother in later years as somewhat of a comfort, as my mother is an amazing woman.

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   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   I wish my mother had lived long enough for me to see her face in the mirror at my age.

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      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I am so sorry. That is so sad

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   sethslosbergposted 12 years ago

   Don't be so afraid of it. It is natural and inevitable. We all have to go through it. One day.

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   MobyWhoposted 12 years ago

   Have to laugh! My soon-to-be-fifty daughter called me recently and said she woke up and realized she was becoming more and more like me every day. Now this is funny, because I think she's trying to rationalize her irrational lifestyle. Darn it though; I never did get a Harley. Is it too late at 81?

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      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If you do get one, will you post photos? This I would love to see!
      
      I am trying to imagine my own mother on one - she'd need to get rid off the tweed skirt and pearls first!

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    SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

    i see my dad!...he was a good man...it's all good

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    Larry Fieldsposted 12 years ago

    I'm over 50, and I turn just as many heads as ever. These days, they're just turning in the opposite direction.

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