Death of a Spouse

1. 73

   Mmargie1966posted 12 years ago

   How long does it take to get over the death of a spouse?  I am happily remarried, but cannot shake being in love with my deceased husband.  Is that normal?
   
   I was once asked if I loved both of my children the same.  Of course I said YES!  But differently, because they are two completely different people.  Well then, says this person, you can love two men differently.
   
   Any suggestions?  Any advice?  Anyone else in my situation?  I was a widow at 37 and I am Blessed to have a wonderful husband who loves me dearly, now, at 45.

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   1. 73

      Moms-Secretposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      For those of us who love genuinely, we love for always.  I am a widow as well.  You have been a widow far longer than I have been and we both were made widows very early in life but I don't think it is something that you get over. 
      
      Love is a funny thing.  It is without limits or bounds.  There is always just enough room in your heart for one more person, child, or pet...
      This man is not a replacement.  This man is a new chapter with its own loving story to tell.
      
      Many Blessings.

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2. 38

   johnakcposted 12 years ago

   You are very lucky.
   
   You earlier had a lovely husband whom you loved very much, and now you have also got a good husband who also loves you very much.
   
   I also love my spouse very much.

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3. 59

   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   What you say makes perfect sense to me. We love many people during the course of our lives. Just because someone we love passes away doesn't mean we stop loving them, but it also doesn't mean we can't find love with someone else too.

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   1. 67

      Scribenetposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with Disturbia... once you really love someone, it doesn't go away. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all. We all have people we love that have passed away and remembering them with love is very comforting even though we have forged new love and life. We have unlimited ability to love.
      That is a blessing.

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4. 61

   thebutterfly51posted 12 years ago

   It took 10 years for me to recover from the pain of losing my husband probably because I remarried too quickly.  I still love him and always will, yet it has been 27 years since his death.  I divorced the man that I married to quickly, but we have two wonderful boys together.  This man actually is a good man, but I don't believe that he ever really loved me.  Since then I have remarried a wonderful man who is my best friend and the love of my life as well as  loving my boys as if they are his own.  God willing I will never remarry if anything happens to him, because it a close relationship like that is more work than this old lady wants.

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5. 66

   anupmaposted 12 years ago

   The life of a widow is really terrible. You are very lucky that u get the second chance to love and be loved by someone. But it is also true that we can't forget past, and of course never to our closest one. But be positive, take it as God's wish.
   In Hindu Mythology, we suppose that after death a man mingles with God, so may be your ex-husband the blessed soul want it.
   try to be happy and forget everything.

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