Depression

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   Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago

   Are there any people here who suffer through depression and are willing to share it's personal effects?

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      sarahmooseposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I have suffered for some time, but was properly diagnosed last year. I have been on meds for 18months, but I still struggle. It manifested in overeating and spending money I didn't have. My husband realised when I had spent loads on credit cards, and I just couldn't take the guilt of doing so behind his back, so I told him. It was a weight off my mind, and I still find myself wanting to buy things for him and my daughter, but I can control that now.

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         Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

         I was prescribed Prozac it seems to make things worse when I take it on a regular basis.

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            sarahmooseposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            At the moment the meds are working for me, and I have just had to up my dose, but my main issue is work, and I think that a change of job will help me, only it may take a while! I just need to escape the customer service jobs I seem to have been stuck in since I was 14... Ho hum. I have started to work towards going into teaching, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed my latest applications goes well.

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      EricaMCposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Yes, I was in an abusive relationship for over two years. It involved physical and mental abuse. It will be a year this August that I have not heard from him. My depression sneaks up on me when I least expect it. I can be in a conversation about plans for the summer and drift off and flinch while someone is talking to me. I have nightmares of him kidnapping me, torturing me, and harming my daughter. I get extremely defensive now in small petty arguments and expect my boyfriend to be just like my ex. I get to the point somedays where I feel like I'll never be "normal" again. My depression hurts physically. I worry myself sick, literally. I mentally beat myself up with his words that I will never forget, I have scars that will never go away and I see them every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't think about the things that happened, and not on purpose either. I see commercials, hear songs, someone's tone of voice, a smell, driving past something, meeting someone at work with the same name. I can't even play wrestle with my boyfriend without flinching and locking up at some point even if he isn't being rough with me.

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         Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

         The effects of abuse never seem to go away. My depression comes from nowhere, I am not aware of any physical abuse in my life. Mental abuse has followed me me for many of my pre and early teen years. I have witnessed physical abuse to my mother and sister when I was younger and lived with their cries in my head, not allowed or able to defend them. I hope that there is always someone near you that you can turn to just to listen while you talk your way through the hard days. My wife has been there for me many times.
         Happiness to you. Try hard to stay positive.

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            EricaMCposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Your depression could be from your childhood or things happening around you that you don't necessarily notice consciously. You're lucky you have someone! That's wonderful for you. Depression is very very very hard to live with. I find that I can't talk about it to people I care about because I hate seeing them hurt for me, it causes me more hurt. So my outlet is poetry and other writings. Thank you though!

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               Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

               Your poetry not only helps you, but enriches us by being included in your life. Write on Young Lady.

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   JKennyposted 5 years ago

   I've suffered from depression on and off for several years, but it was only recently that I was diagnosed properly by a Doctor. I also suffered from extreme anxiety and was advised to take time off work to unwind and allow my frequent panic attacks to dissipate. The Doctor gave me anti-depressants, and also prescribed diazepam to curb the panic attacks. The best cure though was attending counselling sessions and meeting like minded people. In that environment, you realise that there's nothing strange about you, that everyone's in the same boat, and also that everybody actually wants to help.
   
   The biggest thing though that has given me a new outlook on life is writing on Hubpages, already its given me a launchpad to an exciting new career where I can take charge of my own destiny. I've also recently met the love of my life, a very special person who has helped me find the kind of happiness that I thought I'd never experience again.

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      Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Good people around us is always a plus. I am glad you have a special love to help you through. I wish everyone had that someone special.

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   AlanRimmerposted 5 years ago

   I was first diagnosed with and treated with medication for depression nearly sixteen years ago. Within six months of starting medication I was able to lead a "normal" life again and I was gradually weaned off medication over the following six months.
   
   In December 2010 I had a breakdown and was once again diagnosed with severe depression and treated with anti-depressants. This time though I was offered counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I was off work for seven months while undertaking therapy and returned to work feeling that the worst was behind me and my outlook was much brighter.
   
   In February this year I had a relapse and was once again off work for three months. Anxiety had also now shown it's ugly head and my medication was changed and further therapy is now being undertaken.
   
   What has struck me mostly about it is how physically and mentally painful it is and how difficult it makes things for people around me.
   
   What keeps me going is knowing that I will beat it if I just keep working at it. My attitude to a lot of things has changed as a result of my experience and I am rebuilding the relationships that were shattered due to the depression. Getting involved and taking an interest in new things helps.
   
   For anyone going through it, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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      Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Alan, do you know when depression is creeping up on you? Because it just blindsides me when it strikes.

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         AlanRimmerposted 5 years ago in reply to this

         I can now recognise when I am starting to slide into a particularly low mood but there have been occassions when the breakdown has been sudden and without warning. This is when it is most painful to endure.

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            Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            I agree, the sudden total attacks are the most painful.

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   Cardisaposted 5 years ago

   I was diagnosed a few of years ago but when my doctor told me that meds would probably make me dependent on them and that the feeling of normalcy that the meds would give me were not real I opted for more drastic therapy...self healing.
   
   My martial art training was a big part of that. It helped me regained my confidence, self worth and self love. I also started doing things that I wanted to do rather than what made others happy.

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      Hubert Williamsposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Good choices Carolee. I can't cope with the meds either. I'd much rather be me.

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