How can families fix problems over the holidays, including jealousy and hurt feelings?
It is supposed to be a happy time but often ends up with stressful feelings. People seem to let little things bother them and lose the real meaning of Christmas.
The holidays are a trying time to fix problems like this, but it also is a spiritual time and emotions are much higher at this time of year. The only way to solve issues is by talking and coming to a conclussion, an agreement. There has to be common ground for all parties. It just depends what the fighting is about. Family have a bond, fighting or not. Blood is thicker then water. The family head member needs to get this problem solved by getting all members involved together and by finding the root of the problem. I wish the best. Pray:)
It takes a big person to let go and a even bigger person to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to be best friends or even have an in depth conversation. It just means you have to be civil. I say that because in my husbands family there is always something going on between the siblings. There are 7 in his.
I think some families are just more strong willed and therefore the kids also have those family traits. If their opinions are fear based they will be judge-mental, critical etc. If their opinions are based on plain ignorance and lack of exposure to other people and their cultures and or life experiences it can make it a long journey to fix a family crisis because it will depend on their age...their surroundings, their ability to to even be open minded about any resolution. OH and how long the persons involved have had ill feelings.
Life is too short. Some can only learn through shock, death and cancer. And sometimes it is just those simple words,"I am sorry.!" that can heal an old wound.
Express your unconditional love for them.
Try to separate the frustration or bother from the person.
If someone does something irritating to someone else, it is not the person, but the action that is irritating.
Also, understand that we each create our feelings. If we are irritated, we create the feeling -- we are reacting to the stimulus.
Forgiveness can only truly happen when the person takes 100% responsibility (leaving no room for blame), faith (100% confidence) that all will be well, 100% unconditional love, and 100% humility (generosity and self-less-ness).
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