Make someone laugh with a well written joke...

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (7 posts)
  1. mcbel profile image70
    mcbelposted 5 years ago

    Oftentimes I hear jokes that could be incredibly funny if they were told a bit... better? I'm not sure what makes jokes so dull. Even when the humor is there, some people just have a knack for being so bland, so considerably boring in their tone and word choice that the joke falls apart before the punch line comes. Take some to write out a joke the way it should be written, and read some as well. I'll start...

    A man walks into a bar. As he walks to the bartender he spots a man sitting in the corner by the back exit, only his head is inflated to three times the normal size and is colored bright orange.
    'What's up with that guy?' he asked the bartender, and the bartender shakes his head.
    'I dunno,' he says, 'he's here every night though, and I see a lot of people talk to him. Maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you.'
    So the newcomer buys two beers instead of one. He walks to the man's table and sits. As he slides the drink over, the man's orange head rises and he looks at him indifferently.
    'I'm assuming you wanna know how I got this giant orange head?' he asks.
    The newcomer nods, and the orange headed man sighs.
    'Okay, well this one time, I was walking down a long sandy beach, wondering what mysteries lay out in the deep parts of the ocean. Suddenly I stumbled over something in the sand. I picked up what looked like a Gini lamp, and when I brushed off the sand, well I guess that counts as rubbing it because the Gini came out.'
    'And you got three wishes,' filled in the newcomer.
    'Yes,' he said, 'For the first I wished for money. I wished to be the richest man in the world, and then POOF, money appeared in my pockets. Loads of it. Hundred dollar bills came out the ends of my pants.'
    'Okay--'
    'Just listen!' he said, 'And then for my second wish, I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world, and then POOF, there she was standing next to me. Long brown hair, tall, outstanding body. You wouldn't believe it.'
    The newcomer nodded, giving an impatient twist of his finger to say 'go on'. He was beginning to think buying the man a drink had been a waste of money.
    'And then for my final wish,' he said, but he paused a moment in deep thought before continuing. 'I think this is where I made the mistake... I wished for this giant orange head!'

    1. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      LOLOL!!

      Call me silly, but I find that hugely funny!

  2. Zelkiiro profile image95
    Zelkiiroposted 5 years ago

    If firefighters fight fire, and crime fighters fight crime, then what do freedom fighters fight?

    1. Cardisa profile image92
      Cardisaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      lol...Suppose the fight 'for' freedom but that doesn't make sense as a joke. hmm

    2. profile image0
      Beth37posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      oppression

  3. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago

    Airplane Crash Joke


    I am always amazed when after a major airplane crash, they identify victims from dental records. I don’t get it, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

  4. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 5 years ago

    Accidental Bonding


    A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.

    After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

    The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

    The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

    She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

    The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

    The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)