What's some funny status lines you've seen one someones Facebook?

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  1. stricktlydating profile image84
    stricktlydatingposted 8 years ago

    What's some funny status lines you've seen one someones Facebook?

    Some people are so creative with what they write on their headline, mine seem boring in comparison! What's some ideas for a funny headline?

  2. profile image50
    Marcus blogposted 8 years ago

    Went to see the Nurse today, She said "I need to stop Masturbating", I said Why??. She said, "Because i'm trying to Examine You"

  3. Coolest Mom Ever profile image53
    Coolest Mom Everposted 8 years ago

    "Bought a new deodorant yesterday, instructions said "take off top and push up bottom!"..I'm still waiting in the ER!!"
    or
    "What did one droopy boob say to the other droopy boob? We better straighten up or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

  4. cocopreme profile image93
    cocopremeposted 8 years ago

    I have one friend who always posts the funniest lines.  Some recent posts: "Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young" and "I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me."  My favorite is "I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."

  5. CoryLavel profile image53
    CoryLavelposted 8 years ago

    CoryLavel Lewis

    -Doesnt drink water Fish Have sex in it!

    -is saving money on his car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident!

    -is Proud of himself. He just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years!

    see more at www.myspace.com/corylavel

    www.facebook.com/corylavel
    www.twitter.com/corylavel

  6. BeverlyNykole85 profile image52
    BeverlyNykole85posted 8 years ago

    the funniest headline that I've seen on facebook..... Hmmmmmm.... one of them was "Don't ever drunk and get a tattoo, you may wake up with a burning ass." I thought it was pretty hilarious.

  7. Kay lawless profile image54
    Kay lawlessposted 8 years ago

    I was just wondering how skinny I'd be...if I had to pedal to keep the computer on....

    c'mon!...Do people really think they're invisible when they pick their noses in the car?....

    I finally figured out why blind people never sky-dive....because it scares the shit out of the dog!...

    It's always funny, till someone winds up getting hurt!...Then it's freaking hilarious....

  8. Evan Hutchinson profile image76
    Evan Hutchinsonposted 8 years ago

    Go to www.failbooking.com. You'll see a ton of them.

  9. anthonyhopkin profile image59
    anthonyhopkinposted 7 years ago

    When she came home I had laid a trail of roses to the bedroom...I had candles lit everywhere, jazz playing in the background and wine chilling with me waiting for her in my robe...now the next thing I need to do is introduce myself......

  10. TheRaptorClaw profile image60
    TheRaptorClawposted 7 years ago

    "Come on Don, we've been at this for 1 and a half years straight and i'm 90% sure i left my front door open." Lol

  11. mcrawford76 profile image81
    mcrawford76posted 7 years ago

    . . . . Is not taking coupons from giant chickens anymore. Not after last time.

  12. cloudy_cool profile image76
    cloudy_coolposted 7 years ago

    I have a friend whose status said 'sucidial, on edge of cliff'. I poked him.


    Sometimes I wish I could just say 'poof, you're gone!' to someone and they'd dissapear.


    Have you ever experienced a fly or a bug land on your computer screen and your first instinct would be to scare it with the curser?

  13. zinyee profile image55
    zinyeeposted 7 years ago

    AOCDRNDICG TO RSCHEEARCH AT CMABRIGDE UINERVTISY, IT DSENO'T MTAETR WAHT OERDR THE LTTERES IN A WROD ARE, THE OLNY IPROAMTNT TIHNG IS TAHT THE FRSIT AND LSAT LTTEER BE IN THE RGHIT PCLAE. TIHS IS BCUSEAE THE HUAMN MNID DEOS NOT RAED ERVEY LTETER BY ISTLEF, BUT THE WROD AS A WLOHE. IF YOU CAN RAED TIHS, PSOT IT TO YUOR WLAL. OLNY 55% OF PLEPOE CAN.. XD ? CAN YOU? ?

  14. garyyoungberg profile image59
    garyyoungbergposted 7 years ago

    I saw this status last week..........Listening to country music and reminiscing about all of the sad things that never happened to me...

  15. Rockgirl85 profile image57
    Rockgirl85posted 7 years ago

    I have heard a few from my friend's statuses:
    "...is placing herself in "time-out" until she is able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!"

    "AN EX IS CALLED AN EX BECAUSE THATS AN EXAMPLE OF AN EXTREME WASTE OF TIME....WEPAAAAAAA tongue"

    "He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor"

  16. Silverspeeder profile image59
    Silverspeederposted 7 years ago

    If life is like a box of chocolates why do i get all the nuts?

  17. cubesz profile image62
    cubeszposted 6 years ago

    What I am doing? winning, their not winning, tiger blood, cuz I'm winning. People say I'm bi-polar I say that's totally wrong i'm bi-wining, I'm winning there, and here. They say I got a disease well, I cured it with my brain. If you every got my brain you'd be like woah unplug this sucker. I don't remember the last time I took drugs cuz I'm winning.

  18. Catsandogs profile image59
    Catsandogsposted 6 years ago

    "Tomorrow's my birthday, should I put my birthday suit on?"

 
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