What's some funny status lines you've seen one someones Facebook?
Some people are so creative with what they write on their headline, mine seem boring in comparison! What's some ideas for a funny headline?
Went to see the Nurse today, She said "I need to stop Masturbating", I said Why??. She said, "Because i'm trying to Examine You"
"Bought a new deodorant yesterday, instructions said "take off top and push up bottom!"..I'm still waiting in the ER!!"
"What did one droopy boob say to the other droopy boob? We better straighten up or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
I have one friend who always posts the funniest lines. Some recent posts: "Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young" and "I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me." My favorite is "I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned."
-Doesnt drink water Fish Have sex in it!
-is saving money on his car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident!
-is Proud of himself. He just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years!
see more at www.myspace.com/corylavel
the funniest headline that I've seen on facebook..... Hmmmmmm.... one of them was "Don't ever drunk and get a tattoo, you may wake up with a burning ass." I thought it was pretty hilarious.
I was just wondering how skinny I'd be...if I had to pedal to keep the computer on....
c'mon!...Do people really think they're invisible when they pick their noses in the car?....
I finally figured out why blind people never sky-dive....because it scares the shit out of the dog!...
It's always funny, till someone winds up getting hurt!...Then it's freaking hilarious....
When she came home I had laid a trail of roses to the bedroom...I had candles lit everywhere, jazz playing in the background and wine chilling with me waiting for her in my robe...now the next thing I need to do is introduce myself......
"Come on Don, we've been at this for 1 and a half years straight and i'm 90% sure i left my front door open." Lol
. . . . Is not taking coupons from giant chickens anymore. Not after last time.
I have a friend whose status said 'sucidial, on edge of cliff'. I poked him.
Sometimes I wish I could just say 'poof, you're gone!' to someone and they'd dissapear.
Have you ever experienced a fly or a bug land on your computer screen and your first instinct would be to scare it with the curser?
AOCDRNDICG TO RSCHEEARCH AT CMABRIGDE UINERVTISY, IT DSENO'T MTAETR WAHT OERDR THE LTTERES IN A WROD ARE, THE OLNY IPROAMTNT TIHNG IS TAHT THE FRSIT AND LSAT LTTEER BE IN THE RGHIT PCLAE. TIHS IS BCUSEAE THE HUAMN MNID DEOS NOT RAED ERVEY LTETER BY ISTLEF, BUT THE WROD AS A WLOHE. IF YOU CAN RAED TIHS, PSOT IT TO YUOR WLAL. OLNY 55% OF PLEPOE CAN.. XD ? CAN YOU? ?
I saw this status last week..........Listening to country music and reminiscing about all of the sad things that never happened to me...
I have heard a few from my friend's statuses:
"...is placing herself in "time-out" until she is able to play nice with others! This may take a few hours as there are stupid people everywhere!"
"AN EX IS CALLED AN EX BECAUSE THATS AN EXAMPLE OF AN EXTREME WASTE OF TIME....WEPAAAAAAA "
"He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor"
If life is like a box of chocolates why do i get all the nuts?
What I am doing? winning, their not winning, tiger blood, cuz I'm winning. People say I'm bi-polar I say that's totally wrong i'm bi-wining, I'm winning there, and here. They say I got a disease well, I cured it with my brain. If you every got my brain you'd be like woah unplug this sucker. I don't remember the last time I took drugs cuz I'm winning.
"Tomorrow's my birthday, should I put my birthday suit on?"
by Faith Reaper 18 months ago
What funny things do you remember your children or grandchildren or any child saying?My grandchildren keep me smiling with some of the things they say. My granddaughter, Lily, who was about 3 or 4 at the time (5 now), was watching and dancing to a Keith Urban video of the song, "Love Somebody...
by Julianna 8 years ago
following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas...
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