The Return

1. 61

   Max Sumerposted 13 years ago

   From within she shall escape
   Gnaw through flesh and bone if necessary
   She shall return I know
   For she never legitimately departed
   Although there was deceit in her hiding
   Lying in wait was not her scheme
   Rather a demand from one
   Indecisive by nature
   With bated breath
   She patiently observed
   Watching from the inside all of the unfoldings
   Without making herself known
   She has sifted through the strings of chaos
   Delicately relacing it back into order
   The way that logic demands
   Even now I sense her efforts
   The building of an inferno
   That shall cleanse away injustices committed
   For those who have long awaited
   Her ultimate return
   Stand back I say
   For with her homecoming
   Also comes great fury
   From within she shall escape
   Gnaw through flesh and bone if necessary

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2. 66

   Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

   Wonderful flow and rhythm! I love the cyclical feel of bringing the end and beginning together.
   
   Are you open to a little constructive feedback? Just a couple of observations is all...

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   1. 55

      Volkhposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      all this poem says to me is that the person who wrote it is probably a little unhinged.
      
      That it's posted for the world to see tells me that that person is probably also attention seeking about being unhinged.
      
      Which in turn tells me all sorts of things.

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      1. 66

         Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Poetry not your thing, I guess?

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      2. 79

         manlypoetrymanposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         So does your response...

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      3. 61

         Max Sumerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Your observation of being a little unhinged is dead accurate.  That is how it was meant to come across.  All human beings find themselves a little out of whack during certain moments in their history. My moment came two years ago and when it did I buried who I was and became someone I am not.  It's about the anger that builds when a person pretends.
         
         As far as attention seeking. . .  Poetry is meant to be shared with the world, it may relate to what someone else is going through.  It may strike a chord.  You may find kinship with another. 
         
         Your pentagram profile picture with the goat in the middle speaks volumes of you.  I have been there before my friend.  Thank you for your feedback on this I do appreciate all criticism, even and especially the negative.  Take care.

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   2. 61

      Max Sumerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for commenting and your defense of what is written.  Much appreciated and much love.  I am absolutely always open to constructive feedback. Send me anything you'd like to, I am sure it will help me in the future.  Take care.

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3. 61

   archdawposted 13 years ago

   Volkh, that was not nice.  I like Daniel liked the flow. Welcome to Hub pages.

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   1. 55

      Volkhposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe so, but am I wrong?

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      1. 61

         archdawposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Ok, if you say unhinged in a poetic and artistic way.

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      2. 66

         Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Deleted
         1. 55

            Volkhposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            My observation is valid as it was stated. I'm sure the author intended for the poem to inspire a response in the reader. I read  it, and that was my honest response.
            
            If you want to be patronizing because the author is reading all of this, fine by me.
            
            And your bland, phony courtesy is sickening.

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            1. 66

               Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Deleted
               1. 55

                  Volkhposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  I wasn't before?
                  
                  I guess I'll just have to struggle along without your gentle tutelage. God knows how I'll manage.

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                  1. 66

                     Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Deleted
                     1. 55

                        Volkhposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        I have only three words for you man. Ronco Hair Paint.

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   2. 61

      Max Sumerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for reading this.  I am happy to hear that you liked it.  Let's try not to raz Volkh to much.  He liked it too. That's why he commented.  Thanks also for welcoming me. Much love to you.

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4. 57

   prettydarkhorseposted 13 years ago

   Welcome, the intensity of the poem and the feelings/emotions are about to be unfold,

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5. 0

   cosetteposted 13 years ago

   that was groovy. especially this part:
   
   "She has sifted through the strings of chaos
   Delicately relacing it back into order
   The way that logic demands"
   
   welcome to the monkeyhouse, Max

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   1. 61

      Max Sumerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hey there.  I like the word "groovy" a vintage word all too often unused.
      
      That was my favorite part as well.  Thank you for requoting that particular phrase.  I appreciate your comment very much.  And thanks for becoming my fan! Much love to you.

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6. 61

   archdawposted 13 years ago

   Volkh, bad day?  I just read your hub and it says a lot.  IF you don't stop I will go throug tips 1-3, then go to 4 as my last resort.(make no mistakes, I will use it!!! hehe

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7. 80

   frogdroppingposted 13 years ago

   Hublove just oozes from this thread. Keep on spreading it guys

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8. 66

   Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

   Just not worth the trouble when this thread was the focus of a poem.
   
   And I liked it. I think a few refinements might help the development and flow.

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9. 0

   cosetteposted 13 years ago

   so, some person joins this site 28 hours ago and his or her first post is to insult someone else.
   
   then this person goes on to insult a nice guy like Daniel.
   
   this person also has a hub deriding the HubPages philosophy and what we are trying to do here.
   
   SO WHAT IS HE OR SHE DOING HERE?

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   1. 80

      frogdroppingposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Because they want to be. Not everyone likes where it is they're at. I salute professionally uncomfortable people. It's a hell of a talent

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   2. 66

      Daniel Carterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I was stupid and played that person's game for a bit, but decided it certainly wasn't worth it. So I withdrew. The focus is about the poem, not trading insults.

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   3. 60

      Dixie Wposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Gee, there was nothing constructive about that. Sure am glad I didn't get one of those. Go, Max!!!!!!!!!
      I don't like poetry but I like this. Dixie W

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      1. 61

         Max Sumerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Hi Dixie W.  Thank you. Welcome to Hubpages I look forward to reading your posts.

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10. 60

    tantrumposted 13 years ago

    returning from where ?
    
    Volkh ?

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    1. 61

       Max Sumerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Ha, ha, ha.  This comment is great.  Absolutely love the pun!  Have a great day!

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11. 80

    frogdroppingposted 13 years ago

    Max - good to know you're no longer unhinged and more so to know that Volkh was only half right
    
    As for me, I'm more than unhinged. I've also lost a screw
    
    I'm not quite sure
    About you, But I've
    begun to unscrew.
    
    However I try, how
    often I sigh, the
    End just feels that
    It's nigh.
    
    If this seems a little
    too much, I don't
    apologise as such.
    
    The problem you see
    I can only be me and
    A frog is all I can be.
    
    So I'll gibber and
    slavver, into a lather
    and try not be much
    of a bother ...
    
    Time for bed

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    1. 61

       Max Sumerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Hey there little froggy friend.  Ha,ha I'll always be a little unhinged.  I am human!  I love your comment here and your poem is darling.  I have a great big smile on my face this morning all because of you!
       
       Have a wonderful day!

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