Hey there hubberinos, I just came up with a great game we can all play together. After reviewing "Scream 4", I thought it might be interesting if some members of hubpages could say what their rules would be to survive a horror movie. Now, you can list the same exact reasons in the films, but...it would be a lot cooler if you guys came up with a few of your own as well. Therefore, what would be your rules to survive a slasher horror film?
Here's mine to start us off...
1. Don't be the damn hero, and get the hell out of dodge. If you happen to find yourself in a horror film, and people are dying everywhere, then just leave. Seriously, take a note from "Scream's" parody "Scary Movie", where a black reporter said this:
"Two white people are dead, so we're getting the f*** out of here!"
I apologize if that sounded racist, as that's not my intent, but I don't disagree with that scene. Two people die by a serial killer dressed up in a costume, so I'd get the hell out of dodge. That's my number one rule there.
2. Always carry a weapon. Granted, you might find yourself in a slasher flick where the enemy has supernatural powers of immortality, so this may or may not help you. However, if the enemy is anything like the killers in "Scream", then you know they're human. Not only that but if memory serves me correctly, none of the killers wore bullet proof vests. Therefore,...YOU CAN SHOOT THEM! That's why it's always important to carry a damn gun with you at all times. Plus, he's used to people running away from him predominately, so he won't expect a surprise attack like that from one of his would be victims.
3. Let the police handle the investigation. Seriously, I'll never understand the damn logic of why teenage protagonists have to portrayed so stupidly as thinking they know more than adults do about any situation. Then again, in horror films, they always make the kids smarter than adults, so I guess I can see their point. However, the deeper the teenage protagonist go to investigate a killer's motives, more people die. This is why I say let the police handle the situation, and follow step 1. Seriously, you can probably follow step 1 exclusively; as it's guaranteed you'll live.
4. Strength in numbers. Seriously, I have yet to see a slasher film that's ever had a killer go after a group of people larger than 4. Therefore, if you can travel with say 8 of your buddies at all times during the horror flick, you're trapped in, then you should be just fine. Besides, the killer wouldn't dare try to kill you with too many witnesses around.
5. Well..pretty much everything else that was covered in the "Scream" films.
Anyways, what are your rules to survive a slasher flick?
oh and another tip i would say is never assume the killer is dead, as he probably isn't or there might be more than one. to quote batman in an animated episode of "superman and batman: world's finest": "ALWAYS EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!"
Don't have sex during the film. Always the first one to have sex is the first to go. That's my take on the Jason movies, lol.
stay away from the nerdy and handycap kids the always get killed the worst ways
Of late, it seems like the old stereotype has been reversed so I would have to say --
**Don't split off from the group with the black guy or girl. They've started killing whoevers with them first and then them quickly after lately I've noticed.
**Entering a shower or tanning bed during a dangerous and scary time is a BAD idea.
**Know where the loose boards are in the house and make sure your shoelaces are tied! aka. Don't wear high heels in dangerous situations! You will trip and at least lose a limb immediately and more than likely your life shortly after.
I haven't seen Scream 4 and I'm not much into the slasher/zombie/mutant cannibal thing that is so prevalent in horror films these days, but I'd say:
Don't drive down creepy looking backwoods roads on foggy nights. If you get lost, make sure your car is fast, your gas tank full, your tires good, and your GPS and cell phone are charged and working.
Don't stay in weird looking motels that are far off the beaten path. If you find yourself in one, stay up all night with your friends in the lobby or at the bar. Keep your clothes on and don't be wandering off to explore, have sex, or take a bath or shower... you can do all that when you get back home.
Skip the party at the local haunted house, but if you absolutely have to go, don't play with ouija board and don't go off with any charismatic looking strangers.
If some drooling wildman stumbles out of the woods weilding a chainsaw or a machette and you have a gun, use it.
If you manage to escape from the flesh eating mutant zombies alive, keep going, don't turn around, and don't go back for anything.
My number one rule: Never go out to investigate a mysterious noice with only a flashlight. And never go alone if you can help it.
I can't count the number of times I have yelled at the screen telling the person "yeah go check it out with only your flashlight, Moron!" lol
Just for that I think they deserve to get slashed. lol
my husband has a good rule:
When someone yells out "RUN!" RUN! don't just stand there and watch.
That's so true. lol
if something is overly cute or cuddly dont pick it up!
No making out - or sex because that will get you killed.
No drugs - every time I see a horror movie & they get stoned or drunk......they get killed.
Go idea mate,
I have to say that i really do love all the responses on this forum, as I think everyone makes a great point about surviving a horror film.
befriend a lil girl vampire. I think this only worked in let me in(watched it last night not bad)
lol. I agree with you there. I love that movie too. Although it must really suck for that poor vampire girl to stay 12 yrs old for the rest of eternal life.
All you really have to do is make sure you're the main character. If not, kiss your A#@ goodbye.
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