What do you say when someone tells you a prejudice or sexist joke?
I hate it when someone says, "I am not prejudice, but...". What do you do in these situation? Do you have any advice for me?
And yet you chose that picture? If it's a typical joke based on stereotypes then have a good laugh and move on...If it is a mean joke with violent imagery and it offends you, then politely say you don't like hateful jokes and move on...just know the difference.
Mitch I agree with what you said. Move on especially if it is a boss or a client sometimes you have to just let it go. I think people take thing to seriously some times. But if you can't deal with the way they act you are not going to change what they say or how they act. If you don't like it then stay away from that person.
Why is it, do you believe, that people feel comfortable saying prejudicial things or sexist jokes to you?
This happens to white people all the time. Racists think everyone who looks like they do thinks like they do. So you have to say to them, "Don't talk to me like that. I don't approve of that talk."
I am not sure, I truly believe it is because I am white. My response is that is not funny.
I wonder how many comedians would be out of the job if they didn't say something considered bigoted or racists.
If it's funny, I laugh. As I would a joke about my mom, my religion, my retarded cousin or my wife. They are jokes. That is what's wrong with the world today. People take everything so personally and seriously. Crack a joke about my big nose or skinny butt or the fact that I come from white trash, as long as the intention is that it's a joke, I have better things to worry about. If you're really not joking and trying to insult me, then I still have better things to worry about. There will always be balloon knots in the world...why do people want to stoop to being a balloon knot too as opposed to rising above it. I'm not directly talking to you pmorries because I don't know you but my advice, shrug it off.
As for your photo, isn't this meant to be a white joke? I think it's great and I'm assuming you're not being offended by white jokes. I laugh hysterically at Foxx, Prior, Murphy, and many more. We need to laugh at ourselves because we are all funny whether we like it or not.
What about that photo! Is that a joke? I'm actually offended by it. Anyway, I shrug it off as a bad choice and move on. I do the same thing in real life. Move on. It's not my place to judge grown folks or to try to put them in their place. I've got better things to do. I have enough of a time just keeping myself in line, why in the world would I spend time trying to put others in line? Some people just make bad choices. I opt for getting over it.
I just say, "That isn't funny to me. My daughter is black." Or whatever will make them the most uncomfortable. Then I let it go. I don't keep rubbing it in. Usually all it takes is one sentence like that, said quietly but firmly, and they look like you just whacked them in the head with a bucket and never bring it up again.
Once, during the Watts riots, I was in line at a convenience store in Indiana and the people in front of me were going on about "What's wrong with these people, burning down their own neighborhoods?" And without thinking I said, "What, you'd feel better if they were burning down YOUR neighborhood?"
I don't know what made me say that, it just came out, and I knew instantly I had made a mistake. I mean, I was outnumbered. And I was in Indiana.
So I left--Without my gum, or whatever I was getting. I just turned around and left.
Speak the truth, but you know, don't be crazy about it.
They say where ignorance is bliss it's folly to be wise. What I am trying to say here is that prejudice is sheer ignorance, so when a person say something out of prejudice, just act as if you don't get it, even if you do, by telling them outright that"I don't get it."
Don't get too serious. If it's funny, laugh. We shouldn't have blonde jokes then either cause that's prejudice or sexist (cause most are about blonde women). If it's funny...laugh. Geesh, people laugh when someone hurts themselves (all the shows that show home videos of accidents)- we laugh. If you get so sensitive about everything and politically correct about everything then nothing will be funny. Most comics routines are sexist, ageist, prejudice...or any other stereotypes. That type of sh*t is funny.
Hopefully you can read a person well enough to know if they mean harm by telling the joke- if they don't then laugh if it's funny, don't laugh if its not.
My daughter is blonde and if someone told me a blonde joke I wouldn't take offense for my daughter. If you take offense just cause it's a joke abotu a certain group in general, then you are making it seem all people in that group are the same. If the joke is worded to include a goup in general then who cares- don't take it personally. My daughter is very smart so a typical blonde joke would not apply to her...and I can separate the two and not take offense.
My husband was fired at a job one time for telling a black guy a figure of speech that he used often and that was..."I wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite terd". the black guy said first, "Are you shitting me" and that's what my husband responded with...to be funny. The black man complained so my husband was fired. The FUNNY part was they were both in the running for the same promotion and my husband was his competition. Bottom line, people should be careful at work though.
Marlene B-I would not waste time trying to put someone else in line, I am human too, but I do not have to sit there and listen.
Cre8tor-You are correct that people are too easily offended, but sometimes people do cross the line (there is a line, right?).
In addition, maybe I should not have limited my question to “ jokes".
In closing, I voted everybody’s response up, and I appreciate your input.
Laugh and move on. I am not racist but there are times and places in which such jokes can be funny. There is a difference between being ironic and being malicious. Time, place, intent. That is what is important. I can laugh at jokes at my own expense, at the expense of my beliefs and who I am but when it is meant as an insult it is i poor taste. People become offended because they want to become offended. It is not that difficult for a person secure in their own beliefs to shrug something like that off.
I tend to agree with you on that... Some people enjoy being offended... gives them an excuse to be mad... get all mad and carry on like the rude person that they really are... or to show boat for friends... Folks need to just lighten up... forgive
It does not really matter what sort of racism it is.. its wrong. But humans are humans... they want to have fun and joke around... someone will always be the but of the joke... Been there had to put up with it a good portion of my Nerdish life. So do I plot revenge or try to get even tit for tat? No.. I chose to forgive them. I recommend that you do the same... Forgive their offenses... forgive their humanity... and their Freudian slips.... forgive the pain they have caused you and then when you are done forgiving all of that... Look to the Lord and say Thank you... Because He has already forgiven you for allot more.
If it's funny I laugh. Then I usually say something like "that was cute, or funny, but it wouldn't be funny to everyone. You should be careful, it would be a shame for someone as clever and nice as you to hurt feelings needlessly."
I laugh. It's just a joke. You got to have tough skin and understand that you can never tell what will come out of a person's mouth. Are you going to be mad at every person who or even allow every little thing to offend you? You'll be mad for the rest of your life. Let it go.
I don't think there is anything wrong with laughing at a racist or sexist joke as long as it's funny. I'm not so busy that I need to go around and lecture people on what they should and should not do. I just worry about myself.
I let them hang themselves for a while, then tell them, flat out, that I don't appreciate those kind of statements or jokes. Covering up for antisocial behavior by calling it a "joke" is no way out.
If you say anything, it will be like putting gasoline on an ember...my opinion only
Generally just laugh. The world is full of prejudice and sexist peoples. We need to be understanding of one another and give more respect and we need to give people the space for freedom.
it's a joke so i don't care. to me, only a racist is bothered by racist jokes, anyone else realizes it's a joke.
what do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
a pilot, you racist fool.
If the joke is truly amusing or clever, my only reaction is to have a good laugh over it. Due to the fact that I am a "liberated" black man and do not consider myself to be inferior to anyone else, hearing racist jokes do not hurt my ears, nor do they ever break my heart.
"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette?"
If someone tells a story or a joke that I find sufficiently egregious, I give it a half-hearted acknowledgement (to show that I was "polite" and listened to it).... then turn away and let life go on.....
Humor at the expense of someone's or their own pain. That's what comedy is. If any joke,of any kind, has any other intent to do anything but make someone else laugh, then you are Bill Maher. If you can't take a joke, you have a self esteem problem. If you laugh at a joke about someone elses short-comings but not your own, you have a different problem.
It is known that laughter is healing. Did you ever see Patch Adams? That's based on a true story. Also through study, it is known that laughter creates a chemical in the brain that enhances creativity.
I really have not heard many jokes that are racist or offensive. Mainly it is because I do not have time to read all the jokes that are sent to me through email. I do remember one time I got one of those 100 reasons why type of jokes. It was great and I wanted to forward it to a friend. However, there were two that I had to edit because they did have a racial undertone
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