What is the worst assumption you made about someone based on their appearance?
As we know, people still tend to get judged based on what they wear, tattoos, piercings, hair color, race, and so on. What is the worst assumption you've made about someone you've only seen at a distance but upon getting to know them or seeing them in action- were proven dead wrong?
I used to work for a company in a call center and one of the women who worked there was a goth. This was in the early to mid 1990's before people with black hair dressed in black wearing black makeup really became a "thing." I wasn't actually frightened of her, more like intimidated really, so I didn't socialize with her very much. I figured she was cranky or depressed or something - why else would she wear all black all the time?
One night, I think some of us went out for drinks or something and she came along. She turned out to be highly intelligent, very funny in a sarcastic kind of way, very kind and considerate and we've been friends now for nearly twenty years. She is the sole reason that I quit judging books by their covers.
I understand where you're coming from. The goth phenomenon was still big in high school and a lot of those kids hung out by themselves since everyone was frightened of how they look.
I'm glad things worked out for you. Thanks so much for your answer!
Several years ago i met a young man i hired to maintain my yard. He had his head shaved and tattoos all over his body (that i could see with his shirt off).
I was leery of his character and kept it strictly on a professional level. I just assumed he was a skinhead redneck and associated bigotry, violence, and intolerance with that look.
I soon learned he was neither a skinhead, belonged to no group, and was one of the kindest and tolerant people i had ever met. We became good friends and have maintained that friendship for the past 15 years.
His wife also has piercings and tattoos.
Today we are closer than most of my blood relatives.
I learned to never judge anyone by their appearance.
Wow that's an excellent story, d. william and a great lesson. Thanks for sharing!
In college I had a math professor who looked like a real math geek, heck he even dressed and acted like your stereotypical geek; so I assumed the dude was pretty smart. Then one day he walked straight into an oncoming bus. The next month he got arrested for snorting coke at a strip bar (he tried to get away with the rest of his friends but the crutches slowed him down). Some time later I heard he was on suicide watch in the local hospital after he'd attempted suicide. Apparently he was real depressed after losing a bet that Captain Kirk would never be killed off in a Star Trek film.
I learned that thick glasses, premature baldness, fascination for math and a poindexter style of fashion doesn't make for an Einstein...or a good gambler.
Wow! It is always shocking to hear someone you know getting arrested, especially someone like a professor but you're right glasses and baldness and a love of math does not equal a geek.
Once at an air show , an old man in beard , ponytail , acting loud , red faced and drunk , wearing bib over alls , jumped out of the crowd ,ran to a small plane locked the doors from inside and started the planes engine , began taxiying down the runway while officials chased him , everyone begins panicing ..............after lifting off ! the announcer says " Its okay folks -its all a put -on ! the guy was part of the show ! BUT - he had everyone fooled by his appearance and actions !
Sometimes when I see attractive or just confident people I assume their are not very intelligent. It doesnt mean I really believe it and sometimes I change my mind if get to know them better.
*Im also considered stupid by some people who dont know me just because im blonde. A few have told me, but once they talk with me most of them change their mind.*
Hi Romina,
I don't know what it feels like to be judged by hair color but I can relate definitely to looking at someone and assuming they're something they may not be. Thanks for your response!
When my Hubby and I first became engaged, we flew to PA to visit his Mom and Dad. When we walked out of the airport to find his Father who was to meet us, I saw this man leaning against the wall and just though he was a bum.
He needed a shave. He had on old "bummy" clothes. His jacket had big patches on the elbows. He had on a hat pulled over his brow.
Turned out that was the Father! He loved to play pranks. Come to find out he was a very intelligent man having invented many things that were patented. He also had a high security clearance from the FBI because of his high level of work with the US government.
I really misjudged him because of his appearance!
That's funny Mary! I can imagine freaking out at the fact that your future father in law may be a bum. But sounds like he had a healthy sense of humor. Thanks for coming by!
I used to work at a bookstore and we had this customer, a woman. She dressed like a man and was tremendously homely and almost masculine. She looked hard. But when I got to know her, she was one of the nicest, kindest gals I had ever met. She had a husband and kids - and I made assumptions about her based on her appearance that were totally wrong. It sure teaches a person a good lesson when that happens that looks are not everything - and we should base our opinions of people on actions, not appearances.
Hi duffsmom,
I understand exactly what you mean. Looking at how someone dresses sometimes you assume their story before they can tell it to you. Thanks so much for answering!
This was one of the most embarrassing moments in my career as a nurse, and I learned NEVER to repeat this assumption: I was working with someone I had infrequent contact with and as we started the day I said, "So, when are you due?" Her reply, "I'm not pregnant..." There was no way to cover up my assumption that her big belly was caused by anything but a baby. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth!
That reminds me of that commercial where a woman in the grocery store asks that to another woman and she's like I'm not and then gives her a hug. I'm sure it didn't end as graciously in real life but that's definitely an unforgettable lesson.
Recently I met a guy who dressed elegantly, smelled fresh and showered and groomed me like a real handsome Italian. All hearts and flowers.
I ASSUMED he had his life in order living in his own place, working a normal steady job and enjoying his independency. He is 32.
Instead he lives with his roommate of 37 in a messy apartment, with a dirty kitchen, with his own messy bedroom, going from one job to the other, earning little to nothing, without any savings and on top of all that...he smokes marihuana all day with his adult roommate of 37!
Yep, I was very prejudiced to assume this goodlooking, fresh and friendly man over 30 would be living his steady life, just like I do. Oops!
Oh wow Escobana! At least you learned before it got too late! Thanks for responding.
One time I mistakenly thought somebody was something besides a human. They seemed to me to be like a small dingo or wild fox.
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