When was your first impression of someone you met for the first time totally wrong?
Absolutely, which is why I always give myself time to discover the real person in a safe environment. First impressions are not always accurate. Some individuals are good actors, and as I tend to be very forthright, I sometimes assume others are like me. But often, they are not. Thus, I can be fooled initially. However, I've also learned that the people reveal themselves in time.
In dating, for example, the only time I've had any trouble was when I accepted a date without first spending time talking to the guy long enough to truly hear what he was saying. I've now gotten good at it discerning character, but it takes more than an initial meeting to have a really good idea of what someone is all about - at least for most of us.
I have discovered that one cannot judge a person by his or her looks or as my mother would say, 'never to judge a book by it's cover' I think this was sound advice. Thanks for your comment savvydating.
I wasn't thinking in terms of looks, but rather in terms of whether a person's friendliness is sincere. My mother always had "unusual" friends so I never thought much about looks. But your mother is right, just like mine was!
Most people do form a first opinion of someone based on appearances only. This first impression is usually wrong. You can't truly form an opinion about someones character based on looks alone.
I would say that if most people thought about it that more often than not first impressions are almost always proven wrong if you take the time to get to know the person.
That happens quite a bit and that is why we cannot really trust our first impressions unless they are based on intuition. I have known someone for about a year now and completely had the wrong negative impression of him. I just now am seeing him and getting to know the real him. All I can say is listen to your heart when meeting people and don't base your impressions on what you see and think on the outside.
I'm beginning to realize sallybea that my first impression is usually 100% right - but often I dismiss it when the other person goes on to be 'wonderful' - except they are not. And it is in a short period of time that I realize that person and I are not compatible.
It seems many of our friends we meet at work - but when you think about it we actually have things in common like the type of work we do and what brought us to this job. Usually we spend some time with them and learn quite a bit about certain people before we become friends. We may become friends with certain neighbors as well. But sometimes I will meet a person at the library, at a meeting or such - we hit it off well but - Yikes! - we can never be friends.
Never! I feel that we bring to first impressions a life-time of observation and actually base our impressions on carefully, albeit, subconsciously calculated stored and analyzed information. I think that this is the basis of "falling in love at first sight." It's actually not on "first sight" at all. It's on numerous previous observations. So, in essence, perhaps the older you are, the more accurate your first impressions. I'm a-hopin' because the older I get, the more "first impressions" I hold on to; or maybe I'm just becoming cranky. A friend once told me something quite beautiful: "I have never met a person I didn't like because after I get to know them, I always like them." Well... I thought that was beautiful when I was young. Now I just don't have the time
When I first met our neighbor I had a different impression about him but now have learned that he is such a lovely person, deep down he will go all out for you and someone who is just so different from what I had in mind, that just goes to show one has to spend more time with an individual to know them better.
Many years ago, my impression of one man over time was that he was sloppy in his work and attitude, drank a bit too much, and was too irresponsible to be trusted in a leadership role. We went overseas, and he proved me wrong on all counts. Yes, his marriage was on the rocks, but he proved to be a great asset. His maturity and sense of humor were greatly appreciated, and his ability to handle a very stressful job was beyond question. That was a lasting lesson.
Edward J Palumbo
In a sense, it is nice to be proved wrong, especially when your experience turned out to be such a positive one. One certainly cannot judge a book by it's cover. Thanks for your comment.
I think we are all guilty of being judgmental before we really know someone. However, there are those times that disprove and all of our thoughts or feelings were correct. I always think, "Just get to know the person - all will evolve over time.
toni0116 we certainly can be judgmental at times and you are quite correct.
Last year, immediatly after my breakup with my boyfriend. I felt wounded, insecure and so lonely, that i fell for the first guy who talked to me smoothly. So naive and stupid , ik. After few weeks, i acknowledged how he was playing me. Being betrayed second time on a row, really hurts!
My answer might prove to be a bit different after you read it, but it is just plain truth about what I felt.
When I was in my 10th grade there was a girl who I admired. I always thought that she was a perfect girl with the best abilities. I really wanted to get close and of course over time we really did get close.
Even though I got what I wanted, we were close, but there was something weird.
It was just that she turned out to be a different person. It was like the most freshest looking apple on my table turned out to have worms inside it.
She was like an annoying stuck-up parasite.
When I think about it now, I feel it was strange how I was now avoiding the very person who I wanted to be the closest to.
This experience definitely thought me never to judge a book by its cover.
Have a great day!
Part of my apartment caught on fire twenty-something years ago.. I met a fireman who seemed confident, hero-like and in control. I ended up dating him but I soon found out that he was a sex-hungry drunk, who lost all control when thinking or speaking of anything remotely concerning sex or of the opposite sex. He was also attention-hungry... I'll never forget what a huge mistake that was.
by Loveslove 8 years ago
Have you ever met up with anyone you have become friends with on the computer,either on Hubs or...any other social networking site ?
by rexy 7 years ago
Do you have hidden secrets or desiresor love someone that you have met on the internet?...How...far did that love get you?... how well do you know that person?...and do you go wild with yourimagination with regards to your sexual fantasies when you talk to your lover man/woman?..... lastly...is it...
by Claudia Mitchell 6 years ago
Do you think teachers should be facebook friends with their students or the parents of students?I've noticed more and more comments on other people's facebook posts from teachers who work at my child's school. I'm not sure if I would be comfortable being facebook friends with my child's...
by Moira Garcia Gallaga 6 years ago
Are we always correct on our first impression every time we meet someone new?
by Maria Cecilia 16 months ago
You look better in pictures and quite disappointing in person?I need as many replies as possible (lol), I mean in fairness to those who look really great in photos, where those great looks came from if they are not beautiful right?And what makes those people so photogenic? is it the skin, the eyes...
by Nell Rose 5 years ago
How do you deal with an unpleasant comment posted from outside hubpages?I am in mid flow so to speak with someone who is ignorant, insulting and downright annoying! He won't read the hub properly but insists his country is far superior and I am stupid, basically. Even though its research came from...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|