When was your first impression of someone you met for the first time totally wrong?
Absolutely, which is why I always give myself time to discover the real person in a safe environment. First impressions are not always accurate. Some individuals are good actors, and as I tend to be very forthright, I sometimes assume others are like me. But often, they are not. Thus, I can be fooled initially. However, I've also learned that the people reveal themselves in time.
In dating, for example, the only time I've had any trouble was when I accepted a date without first spending time talking to the guy long enough to truly hear what he was saying. I've now gotten good at it discerning character, but it takes more than an initial meeting to have a really good idea of what someone is all about - at least for most of us.
I have discovered that one cannot judge a person by his or her looks or as my mother would say, 'never to judge a book by it's cover' I think this was sound advice. Thanks for your comment savvydating.
I wasn't thinking in terms of looks, but rather in terms of whether a person's friendliness is sincere. My mother always had "unusual" friends so I never thought much about looks. But your mother is right, just like mine was!
Most people do form a first opinion of someone based on appearances only. This first impression is usually wrong. You can't truly form an opinion about someones character based on looks alone.
I would say that if most people thought about it that more often than not first impressions are almost always proven wrong if you take the time to get to know the person.
That happens quite a bit and that is why we cannot really trust our first impressions unless they are based on intuition. I have known someone for about a year now and completely had the wrong negative impression of him. I just now am seeing him and getting to know the real him. All I can say is listen to your heart when meeting people and don't base your impressions on what you see and think on the outside.
I'm beginning to realize sallybea that my first impression is usually 100% right - but often I dismiss it when the other person goes on to be 'wonderful' - except they are not. And it is in a short period of time that I realize that person and I are not compatible.
It seems many of our friends we meet at work - but when you think about it we actually have things in common like the type of work we do and what brought us to this job. Usually we spend some time with them and learn quite a bit about certain people before we become friends. We may become friends with certain neighbors as well. But sometimes I will meet a person at the library, at a meeting or such - we hit it off well but - Yikes! - we can never be friends.
Never! I feel that we bring to first impressions a life-time of observation and actually base our impressions on carefully, albeit, subconsciously calculated stored and analyzed information. I think that this is the basis of "falling in love at first sight." It's actually not on "first sight" at all. It's on numerous previous observations. So, in essence, perhaps the older you are, the more accurate your first impressions. I'm a-hopin' because the older I get, the more "first impressions" I hold on to; or maybe I'm just becoming cranky. A friend once told me something quite beautiful: "I have never met a person I didn't like because after I get to know them, I always like them." Well... I thought that was beautiful when I was young. Now I just don't have the time
When I first met our neighbor I had a different impression about him but now have learned that he is such a lovely person, deep down he will go all out for you and someone who is just so different from what I had in mind, that just goes to show one has to spend more time with an individual to know them better.
Many years ago, my impression of one man over time was that he was sloppy in his work and attitude, drank a bit too much, and was too irresponsible to be trusted in a leadership role. We went overseas, and he proved me wrong on all counts. Yes, his marriage was on the rocks, but he proved to be a great asset. His maturity and sense of humor were greatly appreciated, and his ability to handle a very stressful job was beyond question. That was a lasting lesson.
Edward J Palumbo
In a sense, it is nice to be proved wrong, especially when your experience turned out to be such a positive one. One certainly cannot judge a book by it's cover. Thanks for your comment.
I think we are all guilty of being judgmental before we really know someone. However, there are those times that disprove and all of our thoughts or feelings were correct. I always think, "Just get to know the person - all will evolve over time.
toni0116 we certainly can be judgmental at times and you are quite correct.
Last year, immediatly after my breakup with my boyfriend. I felt wounded, insecure and so lonely, that i fell for the first guy who talked to me smoothly. So naive and stupid , ik. After few weeks, i acknowledged how he was playing me. Being betrayed second time on a row, really hurts!
My answer might prove to be a bit different after you read it, but it is just plain truth about what I felt.
When I was in my 10th grade there was a girl who I admired. I always thought that she was a perfect girl with the best abilities. I really wanted to get close and of course over time we really did get close.
Even though I got what I wanted, we were close, but there was something weird.
It was just that she turned out to be a different person. It was like the most freshest looking apple on my table turned out to have worms inside it.
She was like an annoying stuck-up parasite.
When I think about it now, I feel it was strange how I was now avoiding the very person who I wanted to be the closest to.
This experience definitely thought me never to judge a book by its cover.
Have a great day!
Part of my apartment caught on fire twenty-something years ago.. I met a fireman who seemed confident, hero-like and in control. I ended up dating him but I soon found out that he was a sex-hungry drunk, who lost all control when thinking or speaking of anything remotely concerning sex or of the opposite sex. He was also attention-hungry... I'll never forget what a huge mistake that was.
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