Love at First Sight!

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  1. Nathanville profile image94
    Nathanvilleposted 15 months ago

    When I met my wife, it was ‘Love at First Sight’; although it wasn’t just a chance meeting; it was a culmination of a series of events that led up to that special day.

    I can’t write the full details of events here because I’ve published the story on another site, and Google would consider it to be plagiarism; so the link to those events is here:-

    However, it would be interesting to hear how you met your loved one, and whether it was ‘love at first sight’; that is, if you want to share your story?

    1. Credence2 profile image79
      Credence2posted 15 months agoin reply to this

      Hi, Arthur, may I offer this contribution regarding my significant other? … es-Attract

      1. Nathanville profile image94
        Nathanvilleposted 15 months agoin reply to this

        Wow, that is some story; yeah, I could see elements of what you say in our relationship e.g. I’m better at focusing on one task at a time, while my wife is good at multitasking; and we don’t always have quite the same tastes in TV genre – but we do have a lot of our common ground, where we are so much alike.

        It’s not so much the differences, but finding common ground; and that’s where our strength in our relationship is e.g. in many respects we are so much alike, that at times it’s almost as if we were identical twins!  We’re both sensible with money, and when making decisions we think alike e.g. for our next holiday, home decorating and DIY projects, shopping for electrical goods, luxury items etc. – which makes life so easy.  It means for example that my wife can task me with researching for a new cooker or washing machine, and I can task my wife with researching for our next holiday etc., with each having the confidence that the other will make choices that we both agree with; so making the final decisions jointly is smooth and easy.  Hence, we never argue; no need to.

        1. Credence2 profile image79
          Credence2posted 15 months agoin reply to this

          Good gravy, Arthur, you are a lucky guy, no arguments?

          We still do, but either one of us would eventually relent and capitulate to the other.

          For example, she complains that my wallet or billfold has jaws of a crocodile and that she always needed a crowbar to pry it open.

          She abhors the very concept of capitalism, that is until she wants a new bonnet.

          She says that in my concern to save for a rainy day, I take away from the joy of the moment.

          Well, we are both right, and we try to accommodate the needs and concerns of each other.

          Her name is Antoinette and I always compare her tendency toward profligate spending with that of the ill fated French Queen of the same name.

          I let her drag in another mangy misbegotten feline in from the street and adopt it, but have said  NO to any more chickens and geese, even though we live in an agricultural area of Florida,  now. I persuaded her based on the expense and impracticability of have these birds running around, she came to see things my way.

          She does not like to engage in the arithmetic of things, just saying that somehow the cupboard will take care of itself when tomorrow comes.

          While admiring a clear and starry night, I spent an hour explaining to her that  a "full moon" Is not giving off its own light but merely reflecting light from another source. There was some sort of spiritual Mumbo jumbo that she offered in explanation, but, regardless science is science. I thought that everybody knew this stuff.

          Thanks for the inviting topic and thread, Arthur.

          1. Nathanville profile image94
            Nathanvilleposted 15 months agoin reply to this

            It sounds a rich relationship, and I liked your descriptiveness with your wallet.  Money is something we’ve never had any problems over, in that we both take the attitude that regardless to who has what it’s ‘ours jointly’.  My wife is good at saving, so when we bought our first house my wife put down the deposit for it and I paid the monthly mortgage thereafter.

            We have separate bank accounts but a common understanding of who pays for what that works well; for example my wife pays for the food, clothes, household items and white goods etc., while I pay the household and utility bills, and for gardening supplies and all the house maintenance, improvements and DIY costs etc.

            The only time it hasn’t really worked in our favour is a few years ago when the UK Government was phasing out the tungsten lightbulbs in favour for low energy lightbulbs.  At that time when you could still get both types of lighting, the tungsten lightbulbs were a lot cheaper to buy but a lot more costly to run (burnt more electricity).  And has my wife bought the lightbulbs and I paid the electricity bill, I ended up paying more on the electricity bill so that my wife could save money on buying household items.  Of course, now days, you can only buy energy efficient bulbs in the UK, so it’s no longer an issue.

        2. CHRIS57 profile image59
          CHRIS57posted 15 months agoin reply to this

          Arthur, and Credence2, what interesting and heartwarming stories. In some aspects i find my wife and myself reflected in your stories.

          It was some 30 years ago when i attended evening school to learn Russian. A friend and i decided to go on an organized tourist trip to Moscow. That was in the time of turmoil and perestroika and many Russian migrants came to Germany at that time for money, for work.

          It happened that my friend knew some "illegally working" Russians who wanted to send presents back to their families in Russia while staying and working in Germany. We agreed to take all gifts with us in our luggage and one of the Russian guys told us, that his ex-wife was very good in speeking German and we should meet her in Moscow.

          We met in Moscow and indeed Lena was almost fluent in German. I was kind of shy, but my friend invited Lena to Germany for the next summer. I almost forgot until i got a call that Lena was in Germany. Actually that friend of mine was a lady i was dating at that time, but my heart had already focused on Lena. We met again and at the end of that summer we knew how to proceed. Lena had to get herself divorced (an easy piece of a cake in Russia), i adopted her daughter and a dog and a cat. That was 30 years ago. A son and some grandchildren later we developed a manner of mutual disagreement (Credence2) and mutual total trust and respect. Not much to regret. I (we) would do it again.   

          So much of my short and not very romantic contribution. And - marriage certainly belongs to the forum "Political and Social Issues"

          1. Credence2 profile image79
            Credence2posted 15 months agoin reply to this

            Thanks for your input, we all have taken varied roads to end up at the same point.

          2. Nathanville profile image94
            Nathanvilleposted 15 months agoin reply to this

            Wow, learning Russian; did you find it easy to learn.  You’re certainly very fluent in different languages, a real talent; and I have difficulty with just English.

            You meeting your loved one is quite a series of events; as summed up by Credence “we all have taken varied roads to end up at the same point.”

            1. CHRIS57 profile image59
              CHRIS57posted 15 months agoin reply to this

              Arthur, thanks. Yes, we all seem to end up at the same point, at least those of us who participate in this discussion.

              Concerning languages
              I was raised in a Plattdütsch environment.
              This language variant (more than just a dialect) is very close to English, allowing me easy access to English, Dutch, Flamish. Add 7 years of French in school and a decent chunk of Latin and foreign languages tend to look less frightening.
              Read Steven Pinker, if you are interested in how interwoven  languages are on our planet.

              1. Nathanville profile image94
                Nathanvilleposted 15 months agoin reply to this

                With there being about 8 native languages in the UK, and over 30 separate distinctive dialects of English in England alone, interwoven languages does interest me very much; so thanks for the link to Steven Pinker, which looks fascinating:-

                Although I can only speak English (not the RP version aka Queens English/BBC English) and Bristolian; my favourite UK language is Welsh (a Celtic language). 

                •    Languages of the UNITED KINGDOM:

                •    Languages of the British Isles:

                •    The Bristol Accent:

                For example in my native dialect, Bristolian, the lyrics “Thee's Got'n Where Thee Cassn't Back'n, Hassn't” sung in Bristolian by a famous Bristol group translates to mean “You’ve got it where you can’t back it out, haven’t you”;  and other words in the song like “girt” means “big”, and “o arrh” means “oh yes”, and “ow bis” means “how are you” etc.

                Adge cutler & The wurzels Thee's Got'n Where Thee Cassn't Back'n, Hassn't:

              2. Credence2 profile image79
                Credence2posted 15 months agoin reply to this

                When I visited Europe, over 40 years ago, I was impressed with the fact that virtually everyone was fluent in their native tongue along with an additional language.

                Learning another language is like opening up an alternate dimension within the human experience, one cannot help but to broaden ones horizons and become more open minded. It is one of the things that I most regret about living here.

                1. Nathanville profile image94
                  Nathanvilleposted 15 months agoin reply to this

                  Hi Credence; I know what you mean.  Languages don’t come easy to me, but prior to the pandemic we’ve taken a two week holiday (vacation) in southern France for over 20 years, and although I haven’t learnt enough French to be able to speak it or hold a conversation in French, we have over the years learnt enough basics to be able to understand the gist of things like menu’s in cafes, food labels and on posters (advertised events) for open-air night shows etc. (which are quite common in southern France). 

                  Part of the difficulty in us not learning more French is that most French people can speak English, and many like to show off their English to us when they realise that we’re English; so a lot of the time when we’re on holiday in France we’re speaking to the natives in English.

                  1. CHRIS57 profile image59
                    CHRIS57posted 15 months agoin reply to this

                    When 2 people communicate they automatically adopt the language with the highest common denominator. If a French speaks good English and you speak poor French then you always speak English. These decisions are made within seconds after a conversation starts.

                    When i was in Quebec and Montreal and i addressed people in French, almost all answered automatically in English. Kind of saves time, spares bargaining on which language would be appropriate.

                    And this language decision settlement can change over time. I met a guy in Moscow who had basic French language skills. At that time, my Russian was even worse and we agreed to communicate in French. 5 years later my Russian had improved and was much better now than his French, so we automatically switched to Russian. This automatism even works if people cannot speak their native language for communication.

                    With so many on our planet speaking English, the chances are very high that the common denominator rule will decide for English. Well, some pretend to speak English - talk to a Taxi driver in Scotland, or a cab driver in NYC.. i wouldn´t always call that English, but that is another story :-)

                  2. Credence2 profile image79
                    Credence2posted 15 months agoin reply to this


                    I always had a knack for foreign languages. Staying in Panama for 6 months (my wife had became ill and forced us to return to the states). we lived  in a part of the country where you either learned Spanish or you simply were not able to communicate.

                    In many ways Spanish is an easier language to learn compared with English assuming that you were unfamiliar with both. The rules of syntax and word usage were more consistent. Getting used to the concept of gender associated with words similar to French just had to come with memory. I experienced a total French immersion on a visit to Quebec City and driving through much of the province. I knew enough to read the road signs with the fork that directed you to either to the North Pole via Labrador or New Brunswick, fortunately I took the right turn in the road, as things would have become more sparse and problematic going the wrong way. It was early September and it was getting "chilly" already.

                    If I had have stayed in Panama for a year or a little more, I could have seen myself as becoming fluent in the language out of sheer necessity.

                    I did note and was astonished when visited Europe as to how universally English was being spoken and understood on the continent. I had to leave my Berlitz book translator in my duffel bag.

            2. tsmog profile image78
              tsmogposted 15 months agoin reply to this

              Chiming in on learning a new language I live in San Diego county at the Mexico border. I was taught Spanish in sixth grade and took one year in high school. The problem for me was I could do it in written format answering questions correctly, but struggled verbally using it. It just didn't come naturally to carry on a conversation. And, I pretty much forgot everything by the time my adult life arrived.

              Yet, being in the auto/tire repair industry here with 39% Hispanic population knowing Spanish was advantageous to make a buck. A percentage of the customers absolutely were not bilingual. So, I learned to speak 'car stuff' fluently with sentence structure, vocabulary, and some social pleasantries. And, with restaurant communication too since Mexican food is a favorite.

              This year I embarked to learn Swedish to surprise a good friend on the phone to have some semblance of conversation. I subscribed to a good site, yet struggled a lot after a dozen lessons finally quitting. Shame on me ha-ha And, have since forgotten what I learned. Again, the problem for me is stuff like speaking though that was part of their lesson plans. I just can't translate it in my head and say it. And, I think it is much easier if used daily enough to reinforce it.

              1. Nathanville profile image94
                Nathanvilleposted 15 months agoin reply to this

                Yep, I have the same problem with languages, which is very frustrating because I would love to learn French and Welsh in particular, two beautiful languages. 

                And in the case of Welsh, it would be an advantage e.g. in Wales the train announcements are in Welsh first, then in English; and last time I visited Wales by train, at one of the stations had to run over the bridge to catch the train that was about to depart, because the platform I needed was on the opposite side, and by the time the announcement was made in English, to inform me, the train was just about to leave.

      2. IslandBites profile image88
        IslandBitesposted 15 months agoin reply to this

        That was nice!

    2. IslandBites profile image88
      IslandBitesposted 15 months agoin reply to this

      Sweet story!

      In our case it was not (love at first sight). We "met" online (a forum, not a dating site.) We were online friends for a while before we met in person. Last September was our  #15 Anniversary.

      1. Credence2 profile image79
        Credence2posted 15 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks for the comment.

        We met on a dating site, oddly enough she was in Hawaii at that time just over 20 years ago, and I was in Denver.

        But she attended Denver Public schools with me as a contemporary of mine 30 years before that. She told me that she had seen me around although we never formally met.

        1. IslandBites profile image88
          IslandBitesposted 15 months agoin reply to this

          That's so cool. Meant to be.

      2. Nathanville profile image94
        Nathanvilleposted 15 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks for your input IslandBites; my wife and I met over 45 years ago, and have been married for over 42 years; but I still remember the day we first met, as if it was yesterday.


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