Turdblossom: The New Neo-Con Language for the Millennia
Those suffering from millennial angst at the beginning of the last decade were not wrong; they just missed the sea change--in political language. A glaring case in point is the Supreme Court's recent decision to grant personhood to big, faceless and soulless corporations and to allow them to buy the kind of government in which people of their political persuasion can believe, has now incorporated this new language into Constitutional law. Therefore, it is time that the rest of the world catch up with this new language.
It has to have a name, so I propose we name it after the eminence who bore it into the world: Carl Rove. The new name should be given the gravity it deserves, so I propose we name it after Bush's pet name for this great man: Turdblossom.
So far, there is no Rosetta Stone to aid us in decoding this new language; Carl Rove apparently gained it from an alternative universe. We can only understand it by inference. If you are game, I will start a Wikipedia definition and analysis for this new word. Feel free to correct me with your own inferences and analyses. I will include a few new words to get us started.
Turdblossom (turd blos' um) n., alt -ese, adj. -ian. 1. the standard language spoken in American conservative discourse 2. language derived from classic propaganda, emotion-laden discourse, and wedded to neo-conservative buzz words 3. instigated during "Teflon" Ron Reagan's era and refined by Bush consultant, the eponymous Carl Rove (aka, Turdblossom) 4. based in magical thinking 5. classical Greek derivative of sophistry 6. Texas derivative of bullshit 7. Brit derivative of shite 8. Fox News derivative of fair and balanced reportage 9. Though the language is richly figurative, the predominant trope is irony, which exists in a blind spot for those fluent in the language . [phoney Texas slang meaning "fart" or hot, smelly air; pet nickname given to Rove by his president and "boss"]
Fiscal conservativism n. fiscal conservative pl -s 1. derived from magical thinking 2. theorizes that the need to be known as the baddest dudes in the world through defense spending is the only reason for government and the only legitimate reason for paying taxes (as long as someone else has to pay the tax) 3. theorizes that elimination of all taxes will bring down the deficit 4. Advice from Bank of America: If you max out your credit cards, don't quit your day job.
The Sarah Palin/ John McCain Phenomenon 1. a tendency, like old dogs do, to chase cars 2. a belief that biting the passing tires of a Mercedes will finally snare you that bugger 3. probs. a. The laws of physics prevail in this situation, and b. those afflicted have no clue about what to do with it if they ever catch the car 4 a tendency for political hyenas to try to gang up on lions
Tea Party Movement pl. n. 1. a form of Mad Cow Disease which jumped species through the human vector of Glen Beck of Fox News; unfortunately, his unique conditions of Tourette's Syndrome and his manic/depressive tendencies share a common genetic link to the disease 2. angry, pistol-packing mobs shouting the Tourette-like utterances they caught from Glen Beck and Fox, conservative talk radio, and similarly infected politicians 3. neocons/ religious righters angry at the loss of power they held for a decade; the new daddy won't let them play "sillybuggers" all over the world any more 4. recognizable by their code word for the Obamas, "uppety negras" 5. people who flunked out of history and government classes or who were homeschooled by mothers with an MRS. degree who use an Etch-a-Sketch bible for their textbook [historical origin: the Boston Tea Party rebellion against taxation without representation; connection to the rebellion indecipherable]
A thousand points of light 1. theorizes that cutting out government spending on all entitlement programs will offer the public sector an opportunity to become more philanthropic 2. practical application: the thousand points of light ended up in the former entitlement program recipient/taxpayer's pockets [one-term Bush's bright idea]
Trickle-down economics n. pl. 1. An economic philosophy based in physics: gravity causes all solids to seek a lower level, e.g., Wealthy people digest most of the world's assets and crap their digestive export down on the heads of those lucky peons below. 2. probs. Those assets tend to stay at the top, and the byproduct rained down on those below are of little or no further use except for paid cleanup.
If you are a rational person, and I assume you are since you have read this far, you and I are in a position in which we can either sit by until our brains explode or laugh at the stupidity. A devil does not survive the test of ridicule.
Great commentary on a sorry chapter in American political history.
I read the entire post and don't really know what the point is, but I think you're griping about something. Reading this was like being at a dinner party where everyone works together except me - so I miss the inside jokes, references, etc. rehashing of favorite old stories, familiar stereotypes, etc.
It seems, therefore, you are writing for the amusement of a narrow, sympathetic audience. I would rather read something that taught or enlightened as to another point of view. Sigh...next blog....Thank you.
Ha!Ha!Ha! Pretty good. Now Karl Rove is trying to re-write history with his book full of lies about Iraq and the Bush administration.
I take it you're going for the laughter? I enjoyed reading this.
Please note that forum posts that promote your own Hub will be deleted and may result in the closing of your HubPages account. Do not start threads for the sole purpose of promotion or posting links. Please use the Forums in the spirit of community!
by ga anderson 5 years ago
this is the discussion I have wanted for a long time. Greetings, Old Poolman and when I am done I hope to get the frog out of the prince's throat. _______________________________________________--Excerpt from the link provided here:http://www.cbpp.org/cms/?fa=view&id=3677 Some conservative...
by Kathryn L Hill 3 years ago
What would the US be like under President Sanders? What do the Millennial's find so attractive about his political ideas?What do you believe are the consequences of his agenda as far as the future of the Nation?Does it sound wonderful? How so?
by Scott S Bateman 7 months ago
Well, yes. The answer is obvious.1) They oppose background checks and other gun laws so mentally unstable people can buy assault rifles and commit mass murders like in Orlando and Connecticut.2) They favor multi trillion dollar wars chasing weapons of mass destruction that don't exist instead of...
by Scott Belford 3 years ago
Congressional Republicans just promised to deny Hillary Clinton any honeymoon period and will continue their stated "Party over Country" policy of total obstruction of our Democratic President. To make their blockade more effective, they also promise to investigate Clinton for...
by chasingcars 10 years ago
Turdblossom (turd blos' um) n., alt -ese, adj. -ian. 1. the standard language spoken in American conservative discourse 2. language derived from classic propaganda, emotion-laden discourse, and wedded to neo-conservative buzz words 3. instigated during "Teflon" Ron Reagan's era and...
by ahorseback 2 years ago
Whatever you do follow those party lines or pay for it dearly , you WILL be shamed ?
Copyright © 2020 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|