Romance, Love, Where did it go?

I am so unhappy! I just don't know where the romance went to in our relationship! She/he never seems to pay attention to me anymore.

How many times have you heard these laments from your friends, siblings or perhaps they have been playing in your own mind like a broken record? Are you tired of the thoughts and ready to do something about the situation?

Romance doesn't just die, it is killed by lack of interest and/or actions. So listen up while I suggest a few solutions.Listen to the one you love. What is she/he saying about their feelings? Let's make a list!

• Act on the words you just heard; Reach out, we all need affection and if you don't need it then just know that your lover does; A simple touch on the shoulder as you pass in the hallway; A hug for no reason at all; a complement to let her/him know that you really like the fragrance as they walk up close by you.

Dress up a little when you are going to be together shopping or running around town. You would do the same for a friend so why not for the love of your life. If you get a call from a friend who wants you to go somewhere with them , I bet you rush to change your clothes, brush your teeth and comb your hair. DO THE SAME FOR YOUR PARTNER! It is too easy to just jump in the car, still wearing those sweats that look like pajamas if she/he says lets run to the store.

• Tell that special someone how much you appreciate the small things done for you as well as the spectacular ones. We all need to know we are appreciated.
• Words of love are so important. Actions are great but words are equally necessary. I know my husband loves me, but I want to hear it in various little phrases:"Honey, I love being with you, no matter what we are doing." "Sweetheart, you have the cutest little ____ ______ ______ ." You fill in the blanks with the things that are so special to you about the person you are committed to.

• Snuggle at night before sleep overtakes you both. Even if you are unable, for some health reason to do more than snuggle, at least enjoy those moments being close and intimate. And never go to sleep on an arugument!
• Sometimes, as you are raising children, or later if a grown child or parent needs to live in your house, it is difficult to find time to be alone. It is very important to set a time that is just for the two of you. It may be early in the morning before anyone else is awake when you can just sit and enjoy a cup of coffee together without interuptions or a particular time during the evening. Whenever you agreee will be your time do not let anything, short of an emergency, interupt you time together. One of my sisters and her husband designate 9:00pm as their "date time". All computers, telephones, etc. are turned off and they have a healthy snack and watch television or go to bed--what ever they are both in the mood for. They both know that at 9:00pm they will have each others undivided attention.

There are so many things you can do together that cost very little or none at all. How about taking an afternoon, find a country road or bike path and just ride along enjoying nature together.

If money is extremely short some days how about making a date to meet at a local restaurant that advertises "happy hour" from 4:00pm-6:00pm or such. Go in , order one of the half price drinks each, a plate of appetizers to share and just lean back, relax and enjoy each others company. There is no rule that you have to go out at night to have a drink together! After all--it's 5 o'clock somewhere, Right?