If your spouse has given up sex forever does the other spouse has the right to c

1. 61

   wisdom25posted 11 years ago

   If your spouse has given up sex forever does the other spouse has the right to cheat?

   replyreport
2. 59

   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   That would be unfortunate.  But when we marry we vow to be faithful during good times or bad, sickness or health etc.  Cheating is called cheating because it is wrong.  It you could justify it, it would not be a cheat.
   
   Divorce might be a more reasonable solution if it cannot be worked out as the spouse has essentially  abandoned the marriage.

   replyreport
3. 82

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   The person would have to decide if not having sex is a "deal breaker". If it is get out! If it's not learn to live without! The only other option would be to see if one's spouse was fine with their mate addressing those needs on the side. Awhile back I wrote a hub along the same lines asking regarding bad sex as being a legitmate reason to end a relationship. http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … ationships

   replyreport
4. 61

   MissTraceyposted 11 years ago

   Religiously, no. "Through good times and bad..." and there will always come a time when one or the other won't be able to perform. Them's the vows
   
   And morally, no. "Cheating" implies doing it without both parties being aware. If you're in any partnership, you have to respect the partnership first and foremost, or dissolve it openly. But I think you can respect the partnership by being honest with the partner; arrangements could be made if both parties are open to the idea.
   
   But ultimately, sex isn't everything, and if you're in a marriage where the partner has nothing to offer you that you value (not just sex, but love, companionship, etc), what kind of marriage is that? Respect the partner, but plan to get out. "Cheating" hurts the character of the cheater more than it hurts the cheated-on spouse.

   replyreport
5. 87

   nochanceposted 11 years ago

   There are no situations in which it is okay to cheat on a spouse. If one side decides to "give up sex forever" that should be a decision discussed between both parties either before marriage or during it.
   
   If one side decides they just want to stop having sex there are probably some major problems in the relationship.
   
   Also, why would you want to have a relationship without sex. I feel like that's one of the benefits of being in a relationship, you get to have sex with your partner.

   replyreport
6. 59

   nightwork4posted 11 years ago

   you never have the "right" to cheat. you do have the right to either discuss having an open relationship or breaking up.

   replyreport
7. 66

   Amy Bechererposted 11 years ago

   Faithfulness is part of the marriage vows. Marriage is a sacrament that distinguishes itself from all other relationship bonds as a pledge before God to love and honor the partner above all others. There are no "if", "ands" or "buts" that change or alter these promises. Although, legal divorce absolves partners from ties to each other here on earth, religion states that marriage in God's eyes is "until death us do part".

   replyreport
8. 91

   LongTimeMotherposted 11 years ago

   Oh, this question is so sad. I have read your love poem to your wife and I so-o-o-o much hope this question relates to someone you know, and not your own relationship. In thinking about my answer, I am going to imagine that the couple is similar to yourself and your wife - young, and in love. I will also imagine that the male in the relationship has spent a few years in Iraq with the US Army as you have.
   My heart cries for any young couple in love if one 'has given up sex forever'. I can't imagine why anyone who feels valued and treasured in a relationship would "want" to give up sex forever, but I understand completely that sometimes health issues or trauma or stress or grief might wipe out a person's appetite for sex in the short term. Does that have to be 'forever'? I don't think so. As you get older you will be surprised just how often circumstances change, wounds (physical and emotional) heal more than you expect, and attitudes mellow and change. I have seen many remarkable changes in people during my lifetime.
   It would strike me as rather selfish if a spouse were to deliberately withhold sex from their loving partner with no glimmer of hope for the future. Forever is a very long time. Out of respect for their partner, I would expect a person to at least make an attempt to seek some kind of therapy to address the issues behind a decision to give up sex for the rest of their life.
   "I can't sleep with you now (for whatever reason), but I want to make love with you in the future - so I hope you'll wait while I try and get help to get me back on track."
   I'm quietly confident that most loving partners would respect their spouse and their relationship enough to be supportive and patient during that therapy stage. We all like to protect what's precious in our lives, and a healthy, loving relationship is very precious.
   Now it surprises me to hear myself saying this but I have to say that I don't think the word 'cheating' belongs in your question. Would it be cheating if a spouse with no hope of sexual intimacy in the future was to find another sexual partner? Or would it be a kind of 'therapy' to at least occasionally release some of the sexual tension that would build up over the years?
   Wedding vows imply a commitment to meeting the needs of a spouse, so to simply decide that there will be no more sex 'forever' would be really inappropriate and an awful burden on a loving partner. I honestly don't know what the answer to such a dilemma would be, but I can see there is no simple solution.
   I hope this helps.

   replyreport
   1. 91

      LongTimeMotherposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      My heart cries for any young couple in love if one 'has given up sex forever'. I can't imagine why anyone who feels valued and treasured in a relationship would "want" to give up sex forever, but I understand completely that sometimes health issues o

      replyreport