Suppose you loved everything about him or her, and even felt a deep attraction toward them, but the sex is mediocre or boring. Would you stick it out, go to therapy, or say "Forget it, the spark isn't happening." Keep in mind, you feel deeply for this person. I'm pretty sure I know what I would do, but I'm curious about how others view this dilemma.
sort by best latest
Hi Moonfroth. That's my feeling exactly, that bad sex "saps joy." I've always thought that intimacy is what happens all day long. Truly, it makes me sad to see the frazzled woman and unhappy man together, but uncommunicative.
Lovely answer, duffsmom. Sexual intimacy is a strong form of communication. If things aren't going well, it can be difficult to talk about, but it may feel more natural if a couple can show caring throughout the day.
dashingscorpio, I fully understand, and I do not judge the need for sexual fulfillment as shallow - far from it. Some people have higher libidos. Some have been with skilled lovers and, they especially might feel terribly unhappy re: incompatibility.
Hi rose-the-planner. Thank you for the compliment!! Indeed, communication may resolve some sexual concerns, perhaps to the point where couples feel quite contented. Yet, I know someone who is still talking this thing out after 20+ years of marriage.
WOW!!!! If a couple has not resolved their issues after dealing with the same problem for 20 years then there is definitely something else going on. If they have exhausted all avenues and have given it their all, then it is definitely time to move
Everyone says it's "easy" to walk away but the truth is it's easier NOT to make changes! If it were so (easy) no one would stay in abusive relationships. Getting married is a LOT easier than going through a divorce. It takes courage to start anew.
Hi rose-the-planner. The couple I mentioned is basically pretty contented. They are very family oriented. The intimacy is just a bit ho hum., but they seem Ok with it, I guess. They are very invested in the marriage and will likely stay together.