What can you do about hopelessly in love sickness?

1. 78

   Castlepalomaposted 12 years ago

   I am a non religious person who is in love with a woman who is a Minister of God. She tells me, she is not looking for a boyfriend. Meanwail I can't sleep or eat right and think about her too much, to the point of feeling weak and ill.
   
   Will it pass, will it get worst, and will I get hit by a Mack Truck?
   
   Or is there something I can do about it?

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      oh poor you CP...i signed in just to reply!
      
      well....i figure you have a big problem big guy!....are ya sure you don't want her more because she says 'no'?..
      
      get some sleep and start eating right, k?  or maybe convert!
      
      ...didn't make it through your area this summer...travelled north instead...and heading north again next weekend...to pick up a puppy....hey!...maybe you should get a puppy! j/k
      
      i feel for ya CP!...but you'll live...if you eat

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      1. 78

         Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I'll try an over affectional Kitty, dogs take too much work, in case she changes her mind and then I'm allowed to work on her.
         
         I can't live a lie, so converting is out of the question. Yet North America's greatest pass time is lying

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         1. 59

            SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            ok, it's been 37 hours...still in luv?...k...try the 'sweet nuthin's'....or your art somehow....she's gotta luv the art CP!...or mebeee try some ole fashion intellect on her?....i'm outta options for ya
            
            did you eat properly today?..........

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            1. 78

               Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               I have a handle back again on  the junk food and sleeping better.
               
               Thanks

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   2. 80

      Healthy Pursuitsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You have my sympathy, cp.  I hope you can get past this soon.
      
      Just recognize if you've got it this bad, it could be hormones? She probably smells just right - in ways that only your animal brain really knows. So.
      
      I agree with SOH - get a puppy! A really happy girl puppy. Give it the minister's name. Then teach it to fetch and take it on a lot of long walks - or better yet, take it jogging. Pretty soon you'll love the puppy and barely remember the minister.
      
      Um - caveat - this is only a theory.

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   3. 68

      Alastar Packerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe it'll help some if you know the biological reasons why your feeling like you do, Castle. I know how you feel brother. Read this fairly new book recently called 'The Male Brain' and according to the author new discoveries in science say that when a man's love and lust chems are active at the same time it can became like a physical addiction- wanting the female in a big and powerful that is. Maybe that's how you should look at it since she's playing the no go religion card on you- like a physical addiction. Then again maybe you can woo her over with flowers and sweet love talk given enough time.

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      1. 78

         Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Flowers work often and words of sweet nothings
         
         Thanks for the tip

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            Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Have you considered that maybe she said she isn't looking for a boyfriend because she is looking for a husband? Some women, especially religious ones tend to talk like that. If she wasn't interested she would have said, "I am not interested in a relationship right now". So I believe the option of marriage is on the table and she is thinking, if you love her enough you will want to marry her. If not then you just want to mess around which is not what she wants. Trust me, I have been there...lol

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            1. 78

               Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               You are maybe right, she is the only black looking woman in town, (half white) and a few guys that she has met, only want to fool around with her. She said she is an old fashion girl, yet why marry,? you only pay higher taxes and at our age we do not want kids, it may kill her to be fruitful.

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                  Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Are you sure it's not me? just kidding. Be her friend and not push it and see what happens.

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                  1. 78

                     Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Boy, I would be in trouble, if you were. She wants everything to be top secrete and this makes it etra hard for communication, I don't dare talk to anyone in town about this .
                     
                     I must resist another exotic colorful experience like this one because right now I'm in such a delusional state of mind and being a traveling artist and likely will be on the rebound, then could go further  lost in space.
                     
                     Kidding

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   4. 59

      A Troubled Manposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sounds like you're competing with her God and she has made her choice. Move on, dude.

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   5. 61

      alvairsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      First of all anything is possible in this life, think about things that you would like to change about your self, i think you should channel your energy into a area that will improve you as a person, maybe finding out from her what is the attraction to god, constructive conversation goes a long way, develop a friendship not a imaginary love interest.

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   6. 65

      Laurinzo Scottposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      For me it doesn't matter religion or not; the pure simple fact is that love is a choice that people make together; while I think it is possible to be infatuated by somone alone, or lust after another person. It is impossible to be "in love" alone. I can understand feeling that incredible attraction to someone else, don't waste(please) too much of your time on someone who may not feel the same way...ever!
      
      You may be passing love up, and devoting too much precious time on a dream. Trust me brother I learned that the hard way!

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      1. 78

         Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I just met another woman (2) who I really like. She figure out who the other women was in town and she wants to confront her on her Christian beliefs. I told woman no. 2 that it could cause a war and I already wrote her (woman no. 1)  a letter that I am brecking up and moving on.
         
         Woman no. 2 is also on the rebound from her one year relationship with a guy.
         
         Am I jumping from the hot frying pan into the fire?

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2. 82

   austinhealyposted 12 years ago

   Having experienced a similar type of relationship (me no longer religious, her extremely into religion,) I can only tell you that you probably can't win this one. The outcome was very painful for me. There are two kind of women you never want to date, let alone fall in love with : overly religious women and widows. No matter how great you are, you will never stand the comparison with God, especially if you are not religious and not willing to become such, and you'll always come second. As for widows, same thing, you'll never be good enough to replace  the departed one. If you're on Hubpages, there is a good chance you like to write, so write . Write her poetry, she'll either laugh at you or be touched but it's worth trying ,write your story in detail as you feel now so you can read it again in a few weeks and compare how you feel then, talk to your male friends, that's what they're here for . See a lot of movies.
   Go on a little trip or a short cruise, anything to take your mind away from her. Think down the road too, Most likely, she has a family and to her people you'll always be the outcast, the guy who doesn't blend in, and you will always feel the pressure, wether it is voiced or not, to embrace whatever faith is hers.
   Best of luck to you, things can only get better

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      Joy56posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      oh no what a nightmare for you.......... Show her one of your sand castles, and she may change her mind.........
      
      i am praying for you.......... I think you already have a dog.......
      
      It would not make for a good marriage ... A believer and an unbeliever, what would you have i n common.  Wot does your daughter thing about your dilemma.

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      1. 78

         Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Yes, I did ask my buddy/daughter/great artist about this dilemma. She is marring an artist on Halloween in Montreal on a farm. She wants me to get dressed up into something esle that is freaky.
         
         This is what she said
         
         I think that having a crush or being in love is very exciting! I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be Religious, especially with my mom bringing me to all these Baha'i meetings lately. I've decided Religion is not for me because I need to overcome my fear of the unknown in my own way, it is the most important thing for me to do as an artist. Its a lot of pressure on one human being, the meaning of life and all. People become Religious because they can't handle the fear alone, they need guidance. I find that Radically religious people, and even overly political people thrive with plans, routine, and promises. They love marriage, commitment, loyalty, security, stability, etc. Also, I think having a partner that thinks like that can be very beneficial if you are able to have a balance and understanding between each others needs! Alex is really political, and I can learn a lot from his sense of security and he learns a lot from me on how to live in the present and not just for the future.

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            Joy56posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            surprised you needed any help from us then,   she seems to have all da answers... Are you still in l love????? You are funny

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            1. 78

               Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Can't shake this love sickness for now, she has to do something very disrespectful to break the spell.

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               1. 78

                  Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Just sent her a love letter, asking her to be her love one or to be her good friend. Her avoiding me is driving me crazy; she said she wills response to my letter later. Kind of feeling sick again, she will not get to heaven if she breaks my heart. Most Christians think most of us people on earth, are not go to heaven, anyways.

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   2. 77

      TIMETRAVELER2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You're wrong about dating widows my friend.  I was widowed 26 years ago and have been happily married for 25 years to my current, wonderful husband.

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      1. 78

         Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Where did I put down windows or EX's, besides my ex wife.
         
         Her problem was she was an megalomanic and I tried to prove it in court. She tried everything to stop me from my art work and realationship with my Daughter. It has all back fired, I coach my daughters art lifestyle today and she now is marring another artist, ... what a dream come true for me and a hell for her.
         
         My EX and George Bush are the only negative people I had to get rid of due to poli-tricks. As for everyone esle, I belong to the "Why can't we all get along society"

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3. 60

   knolyourselfposted 12 years ago

   Enjoy it while you got it. It will pass.

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4. 60

   smartprincessposted 12 years ago

   Hi Castlepaloma, I am a Christian and it could be a bit difficult to be with her since you are a non religious person. However, she might have told you she is not looking for a boyfriend since you are not religious, some Christians prefer to be with other Christians. On the other hand, maybe she is actually not looking for a boyfriend since she just wants to serve God. Two things my friend, you either talk to her and tell her how you feel or wait for it to pass.However, i do believe that you will not get hit by a Mack Truck. In the long run, it will pass and you will move on. I do not believe it will get worse.

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   1. 78

      Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, everyone’s comment is very interesting. Trying to figure a woman is almost impossible; trying to figuring out a Christian, is out of the World. It sucks sometimes being a person who loves the seeming most unreasonable challenges. I have searched the stars, and the Universe has told me to go for it, or I would not be able to live with myself for not trying. The stars have not ever done me wrong before. 
      
      I love how she is a strong humanitarian a who cares for the elderly, the poor and unfortunate.
      I love the beauty of her inside and out and how she loves her family
      I love how she loves nature, please be my love one or be my good friend.
      
      The Sand sculpture, I’m doing is in honor of her and it’s about the first Woman of the Canadian West who later had the first white child of the West. The Chief and the native village believed she had magic powers. 
      
      The Chief offered 20 horses to have her as his wife. She told the Chief that her God only allows her to marry one Man, so he made her his daughter. Or, she could not be shipped back to Quebec and thet would cause War. 
      
      Life is too short, to be fearful and lame,
      Be brave, harmless and honest.

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   2. 82

      austinhealyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Smartprincess, you wouldn'd be implying that non christian people are lesser people, would you ?

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      1. 78

         Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         naaa, I'm a non christain too and love myself first, who esle could love me greater? My atheist Mom, did an alright job. I'm no better or no worst than anyone out there. Too bad, a hard Christian and their one sided fight clubs, could not think that way.

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         1. 64

            demonfort007posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Austin I wouldn't read it that way. Its the same as with anything if you are nto something someone else is it is much more difficult to figure out the other person.

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5. 60

   smartprincessposted 12 years ago

   Not at all Castlepaloma, am simply stating that most staunch Christians prefer to be involved with fellow Christians for spiritual growth. This normally has to do with the beliefs of a Christian and not a fellow human being. Christians never ever look down on anyone, and we do not think that we are better than other people, thats against our beliefs. Its mostly for spiritual growth. I hope you understand now what i mean.

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   1. 78

      Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Owps! crossed over smart princess post
      
      Most of the world's population is not aware or into Christianity, so that means most spiritual growth in mostly in other places in this world and the Universe, just asked the other 10,000 Gods, (just not an atheist.)
      
      We are all just trying to figure out the world, not trying to own it, through JC. Like blind men trying to describe what an elephant looks like. Spiritual is the 99% unknown World and Universe.

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6. 60

   smartprincessposted 12 years ago

   All the best.

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7. 67

   Joy56posted 12 years ago

   what religion is she if you dont mind me asking.

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   1. 78

      Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Church of God, what ever that is. She married an atheist for 15 years, and her last boyfriend was married with kids, I can't be that ugly and must be a much better choice than those two.

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      1. 78

         Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         No onebody can love her, like I can.

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            demonfort007posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            BUT she can not love you as you deserve and to love someone and not be loved back is not love.

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8. 67

   Joy56posted 12 years ago

   why do you love her so much, and when and where did you spend time with her to know your feelings. they seem very strong......

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   1. 78

      Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      We have been going out for a year and feeling have been growing stronger on her part then within  a few day, we got romanic. Then both of us got very busy on our work (busy time). Then I went into a puppy love craze and she became really cold with me  and said she is disappointed in me for calling Jesus in short form “JC”. from a letter I wrote her. What happens when I tell her Jesus is alright, it’s all the wrong translations.
      
      She said, she does not judge others; Mmm, Christians are sure the World champions at judging others and somewhere and in time we are going to talk about God.
      
      Is she, too good to be true? And do love puppies get hit by trucks; maybe I should wake up and move on.

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      1. 59

         SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         hey CP....no, luv puppies do not get hit by trucks.....it doesn't make sense that she would be disappointed with you writing JC....why write about JC anyway...isn't it about the two of you....
         
         if you feel you are on the bottom of the pile somewhere...it's time to climb out and catch you breath and look around....glad you are eating again....wanna come on a road trip with me?...i'm heading north in a day or so...i'll pick you up on the way....time to get outta dodge for a bit and clear your head, me thinks! 

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         1. 78

            Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Love to get away with you, yet this sandsculpture has been a super success and still be working it every day till Nov. along with all the massive work load here of Cabins and landscapes that are weeks behind,
            I don't even time to kayak with my dream pretend girlfriend.
            
            Thanks for asking, we will do something some day.

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               SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               i'm back....with my puppy Raven
               
               how's life treating you my rocky mtn. friend?
               
               you should post a pic of that sculpture...would luv to see it

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                  stclairjackposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  agreed,.. based on description, would love to see it as well.

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                  1. 78

                     Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     Bad new -This woman of God I though I loved, just told me she is very selfish and only has time for her grand children and none for me.
                     
                     Good News- Just met an artist/landlord woman who deeply likes me and tell me, she is my silver lining to all this mess. Hope I'm not too much on the rebound , she has many more things in common with me, along with being really good looking and seriously fun  too.
                     
                     Kind of changes the story of the Sand sculpture a bit, maybe will add a silver drum. The sculpture will be done in 6 weeks, so many people are really loving it now, it will be out of this world by Nov.

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                     1. 74

                        stclairjackposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                        they say that you cant find the one thats good for you,... until you let go of the one that isnt! ha!..... sometime the sacrine Facebook post platitudes are useful!..................... good luck man,... no matter how it turns out, you go for it,.... even a roundhouse swing and miss still feels better than being struck out cause you never swung.

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                        1. 78

                           Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                           I fall down, get up again and go round and round.

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                           1. 78

                              Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                              and.... round an.. round and around

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                              1. 74

                                 stclairjackposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                 that much round and round equals square dancing,... you dont strike me as a square dancer.. ha!

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                                    Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                    Salsa, Belly and Twist, butt never Queer dancIng

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                                       stclairjackposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                       no worries,... if i dance,.. and thats a HUGE if,... i'm very square!
                                       
                                       and in case your interested,... you sound like you uphold the proposed christian ethic far better than those who proclaim it at the top of thier lungs.
                                       
                                       peace friend.

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                                    2. 78

                                       Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                                       JC seems alright, it's Christians I question alot
                                       
                                       Rule no, One
                                       Must have fun with it.
                                       
                                       love and peace

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9. 74

   stclairjackposted 12 years ago

   she seriously got tiffed because you refered to the trinity #2 as "jc"???..... how petty is that?... i dont know you personaly, and cant imagine anything more personal than opening yourself up in this way in this venu,.... wow,.... you have stones my artistic friend.
   
   my first instinct is to have you quote scripture to her,.... paul writes in 1st corinthians vs. 14... for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband"
   
   then look her staright in the eye and say to her,.... "sanctify me"
   
   A) she is madly impressed by your attempt to understand her and apeal to her religious senses,...
   B) she is supper mondo pissed at your use of scripture to justify your desires of the heart... in which case she needs to get over it, christians have been cherry picking for 2000 years....
   C)you realize that quoting scripture in order to impress a woman that sudenly turns cold to you on a trivial matter offends your soul far worse than she inflames your heart.
   
   you and i have spared in the forums,.. we've agreed and dissagreed,... but i respect the hell out of your tallent mind and soul far to much to advise you to chase something that clearly does not wish to be caught.

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10. 67

    Joy56posted 12 years ago

    I have a theory...................
    Religion is absolutely nothing to do with al of this.
    
    you are only relating the religious arguments, any others, about other things,
    
    Move on, i think you are looking for religion, not a female companion......   
    
    If you looking for a wife, it does not look like she is a likely candidate.  Just a castle in the air.  Maybe build a castle somewhere else.
    
    It's easy to fall in love, but dont let any one make a fool out of you.  Only give your heart to someone deserving of it.   
    
    maybe it is time to get another muse, she could be hindering your writing..... I love your writing and want to read more of it.   Maybe i am just being plain old selfish.   Get yourseld a bible, and read maybe Psalms.  You cant live your fantasies through someone else, then blame them when it all goes wrong...... hate it when i love someone, and they dont love me back...... we all love you, and await your next hub.   Hugs Brenda.

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    1. 78

       Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Your right, must, stop talking about Religion. Repeating over and over again words like Jesus or Alah, would seem like insanity to me.
       
       Love you too, some others to a lower degree, it's been all helpful,
       Anyone one here can call on me anytime for an honest opinion, when it;s your time and about you.

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       1. 78

          Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Thanks folks
          
          Looks like ice queen dose not care enough
          
          Back to being single again and this puppy luv is over

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             Chasukposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             So, this "strong humanitarian" who has "beauty. . . inside and out" is now an "ice queen [who] dose [sic] not care enough?"
             
             Have you eaten many sour grapes?

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             1. 78

                Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                We eat big fat black cherries here, yet lately life has felt like the pits. She has been very cold to me and her friends say she will die alone without a man. She will have her Jesus, money, projects and family to keep her warm in bed though.

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11. 74

    stclairjackposted 12 years ago

    been there done that myself,.... currently in the midle of trying to figure out whats going on with me and mine,... it gets better,... because theres no other option,... it has to.
    
    i fall back on my passions and let the crap sort itself without me.

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12. 67

    Joy56posted 12 years ago

    so you seen sense and she missed out on so much............. that is life.

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       Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks Joy and Jack
       
       We all can build a bigger and better relationship some where  else as one door closes and another door opens

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    demonfort007posted 12 years ago

    Honestly if you want to be a part of her life be a friend and drop the rest. To me it sounds like she is trying to be kind and let you know she isn't interested. I'm sorry. I know that feeling and it is not a fun one! And knowing how you feel I would just walk away or it may not ever get better for you.

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       Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Not easy to walk away, but will give it a try, because her ignoring me is not friendly at all.

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          stclairjackposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          i feel for you,... currently in a wierd holding pattern with my 2 1/2 year boy friend,... ours is not a culture problem but a medical one,... his psych changed about 1 1/2 year ago and been declining ever since,.. med change 4 months ago,... and now its like i have an alter ego to contend with,...
          
          if ya'lls relationship was honest to begin with then persue the truth,.... but if she was trying to keep things all CIA quiet,... then maybe the truth to persue is a hard truth.
          
          i'm not sure what my/our future holds,... heres hoping that yours is brighter soon

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          demonfort007posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          If she is ignoring you then why are you so bothered! not trying to sound cold hearted here but you really need to stop talking about her and right a list out of everything she did to annoy you. Hurt your feelings, or where she was rude, gross and or whatever. Like ignoring you. You'll feel better. THEN go out and have some fun without her. We all tend to want what we do not have and can't have. I didn't read all of the comments here but did notice you were quoting the bible to try to please her? If so in the future remember when a man pr

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             demonfort007posted 12 years agoin reply to this

             oops...when a man tries to be something he is not a female will typically be insulted, disgusted and have no respect for him. Don't ever try to pretend because we don't see it as caring about us but just trying to get another notch in the belt.

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                demonfort007posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                and that was write out not right out. I'm dyslexic talking about fun.

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                   Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                   She is no longer loving me back, time to move on, because there is no one and only for anyone, I will build something bigger and better with someone esle.
                   
                   The sand sculpture was in honor of her,  yet it is really a story about myself in relatesionship to my job, health and ulitmate love one.
                   
                   Thanks everyone, you all helped out really well

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14. 67

    Joy56posted 12 years ago

    i am a succor for happy endings....... and you do know....
    Every Cloud Has  A Silver Lining. 
    
      I am glad you happy,    Good start to my day..................

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15. 67

    Joy56posted 12 years ago

    
    
    This is me and my grand daughter Emily..... we cant wait to see your sand sculpture....

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       Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, more happy, less suffering

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    Joy56posted 12 years ago

    when you said windows did you mean widows?

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    1. 78

       Castlepalomaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Love lots of windows and doors, as far as widows with grand kids and Yahweh, I seem to end up at the bottom of the barrel on their list of things to do.

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