Why does 'mother-in-law' becomes a 'monster-in-law?

1. 84

   rdsparrowriterposted 12 years ago

   Whay does a mother-in-law becomes a monster-in-law? How to prevent and win the mother's love? Does that only happens in Asian countries?

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2. 68

   cleaner3posted 12 years ago

   Many mothers who are very attached to thier sons do want them to grow up and feel much resentment against the girl or woman that is going to take him away from her . it happens all over the world.
   most mothers just want to make sure that the one he chooses is going to love him and take good care of him .. almost like all girls look for a man like thier father.

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   1. 84

      rdsparrowriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Oh I see! Thank you for the explaning. Well, I thought maybe the mother is having trouble in accepting that after your son and daughter-in-law get married to see them as one, not as two and the son is not independant.

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3. 54

   StephanieRobles91posted 12 years ago

   Don't worry about it. It will take time for a mother-in-law to like you or even stop  talking about you behind your back. I've been in this situation! Sometimes it is just best to keep your distance for a while and when  you do see her smile never show her that you are uncomfortable. It will take time or even years. It took me and my mother-in-law 6 years  to get along. Now I don't visit her much her son finally put me first as his wife.... GOOD LUCK

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   1. 84

      rdsparrowriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well, I was a bit scared, as I know how hard it is to please my own mom. I just wondered how on earth am I going to please another mother, so I always thought , one mother is more than enough. I do thank God for my mother ...and I know there are some mothers who treat their daughter-in-laws as if their own daughter... maybe I think it get time to come to an understanding of eachother .. I'm glad to hear that it worked for you .. In case if I get married, I really do hope and pray that oneday if I get married I'll find a mother-in-love instead of a mother-in-law.

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4. 77

   wildernessposted 12 years ago

   My wife and I received my elderly mother's yearly snail mail today - her once a year poem and recap of the years activities.
   
   It began with "Dear Son & Daughter"
   
   They're not all witches from hell.  A wise person doesn't have an in-law, just another daughter (or son as may be).  I try to follow my Mom's example with my own two late-coming daughters that my sons introduced me to, and so does my wife.

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   1. 84

      rdsparrowriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your mother sounds a very sweet lady   Well, I didn't mean that a mother is a witch from hell. I know how it's hard to be a mother. You can even find another wife, but you can't find another mother who loves you and you may never know what they have sacrificed to make you who you are today. Yes, like you said wilderness, wisdom and a good example like your mother makes a big difference. Even my mom treats my sis' bf as her own son.. more like the way she loves us and is concerned about us. Good luck and God bless you both!

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      1. 84

         rdsparrowriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         ( you can find another wife, but not another mother) by that I don't mean, if you are married, is not an excuse to get divorced when problems arises. Once you get married, two becomes one.

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         1. 77

            wildernessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            No offense taken, and I agree.  In less than a month it will be 37 years of being one - it could never be any other way now.

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            1. 84

               rdsparrowriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Wow ! wish you all the best for many more years to come

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5. 60

   tussinposted 12 years ago

   Proximity never helps, but I think in-law problems stem from the spouse's inability to set boundaries with his or her parents.   Your mother-in-law might be predisposed to being a b!tch in general, but if your spouse lets her get away with disrespecting you, what you really have is a problem with your spouse. Monster-in-law is merely a symptom of that problem.

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   1. 84

      rdsparrowriterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe so. I was just curious. I'm not married yet... Thank you 

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6. 73

   Moms-Secretposted 12 years ago

   My mother in law was awesome and amazing until my husband died.  I am grateful for the good but would have had an easier time if I had known the truth.  I still don't regret but I had to disappear completely.

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