I have many issues with my boyfriend since our daughter was born,
and have been talking to my mother inlaw for advice since we were close. I just find out that due to our problems, she's been suffering from high blood pressure among other health related problems. It was not my intention to hurt her but my boyfriend says otherwise and forbid me to talk to her anymore. any suggestions? I fell so sad since then and don't know how to fix this. I really love her and don't want to see her like this! please, advice
You have nothing to worry about. There's no way that her high blood pressure is only because of you. If she did not come right out and say "you are the cause of my high blood pressure and throwing my body out of wack because of all your drama" or something along that line, there's no reason for anyone to think that. As we get older and times change, we have problems with our bodies. Its natural and nobody's falt.
What you and your boyfriend need to do is sit down and talk about what ever it is you are not agreeing with and come to an agreement. You guys have to be on the same page, especially when a baby is in the picture. Both of you may be extremely tired from taking care of the baby and have lost patience with each other. Also, try to keep your problems between you and your boyfriend for a while until you get things worked out, then you won't have to worry about making your mother-in-law sick.
girl, the issues are spice of life.
See in yourself. Start ignoring items that create conflict. at least one of you have to make first move. As you woudl grow, you guys would laugh back.
here is a technique, prioritize who is important to you? Then tell your mind to keep calm and try to change the discussion without having your triggers in.
a common thing you can say when you see conflict coming up "look [name], i am really thinking about what you/I said. if we are un-comfortable with this, do you mind if we leave it here and come back to it when we are both ready"
you are going to see magical change in your relationship. there are so many such strategies that we can apply to avoid conflicts and keep us warm with love.
Firstly, I would like to inquire about the mother-in-law status. Is she your boyfriends mother, because in this day and age you can have both but that doesn't mean they are related. Mother-in-law is a term used when 2 people are married (by-law in-law). OK assuming that this woman is in fact the mother of your boyfriend. This is my advice...
You are allowed to talk to anyone you want to. He does not own you. You are your own individual person with thoughts, feelings, and emotions of your own.
I would suggest you and your boyfriend having a heart to heart about your issues. Sometimes out loved ones feel left our or jealous when a new baby is brought into the home. Kinda like a big kid..LOL Men in some cases feel that the baby is taking so much of your time that you are not showing him enough attention... If this is the case... It is not just a simple fix. Relationships take hard work. Communication is the key to any relationship. Btw, is he helping out with the new baby? He should be... These are things you need to talk over with him. Make sure you make time for just the 2 of you. Even if it is just eating a home cooked meal together, or putting the baby to bed and cuddling....
As for your mother-in-laws illness, I would have to agree partially with one of the other posters who said it's a natural part of aging... It is not totally your fault. I would admit that if you are telling her things that worry her or stress her emotionally that will raise her blood pressure, but you are not the cause of her condition. I would tell her how much you care for her, and ask her if you are being a bother by talking over your issues with her about the boyfriend. If she says no, it is ok to talk to her. It is not your boyfriends place to decide that you are not allowed to be surrounded by people who love and care for you.
One last note... If your issues with the boyfriend invole physical or even mental abuse, you need to seek help to leave this situation until he can seek treatment. Abuse is nothing to be ashamed of, but doing nothing to keep you and your new baby safe is...
I hope this was helpful, Your Friend in Health and Happiness,
Read the hubpage article that I wrote about fathers who are having a problem adjusting to a newborn. Hope this helps.
http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Cope-wit … he-NewBorn
Don't involve her in you guys relationship problems. You guys need to work out your problems with consulting her. Show her that you guys are okay. She really likes you, and she just want you guys to be okay. So even if you guys aren't getting along just pretend to get along for her. Keep your problems behind close doors and if that doesn't work, then you guys grew apart, and need to work something out so that you can go your separate ways.
I understand this may be a difficult time for you. You have a daughter who needs you by her side. A boyfriend who is the love of your life and a Mother in-law who loves you dearly and only wish you the best. I would like to congratulate you for being a strong woman in diffcult times such as these. However, I would like to encourage you to stay strong. Your mother-inlaw is only going through these health related problems because she know of your struggles and wish you would make better decisions in regards to your boyfriend. With this, your boyfriend must put all problems to the side and offer you more love and support. Remember; FAMILY will always do their part and try to encourage you. Express yourself to your boyfriend. Tell him that you need him to be more supportive to you, your daughter and your mother inlaw. In the meantime, allow your mother inlaw space and in the end, she will be Healthier and Much happier when your family is back together. Express your problems and offer to leave them in the past. He should do the same. In the end, the four of you should have a family dinner and discuss a bigger and BRighter future!
In my opinion, should first of all, respect for the views of parents, they are to the elder, and, secondly, if you think they think and do you have a bias, you should find a better time to a non-confrontational persuasion they agree with your point of view ?you can go to http://www.mywebbags.com buy a chanel bags as Christmas gift give your mother ,you may be thank you
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okay guys. you know the drill. just tell us all your secrets about how you attract a woman. and for some of you lesbians out there, you can comment too. enjoy folks.
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