Should I tell my friend her husband is having an affair?

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  1. profile image0
    IASILLEMONposted 9 years ago

    I would tell her. Alone. Don't make the same mistake that I've seen made time and time again, where the person that knows tells or asks three or four other folks to join her to tell the affected person, as some sort of moral support. That is so not the way to go about it. She must know and in the long run she will trust you more and love you more for telling her. Don't expect a hug right away though, at first she will be hurt and cry and might even appear upset at you. But if she is a true friend to you, she will ultimately thank you for it. Also if she decides to forgive him and remain with him, don't hate her for it, only she knows what is really deep down going on. Maybe she messed around on him before or otherwise feels guilty about something she did against him, or something along those lines. You never know, or she might just honestly be forgiving him and trying a new. Either way it is a bit scary to proceed, but do so with caution and nothing but love and sympathy in your heart, Don't do it out of revenge or hate, because it will backfire. Remember Karma is a b$#*@ !

  2. cassiemcnease15 profile image61
    cassiemcnease15posted 9 years ago

    it could work both ways, yes, she would be hurt, that human nature, but she would appreciate your honesty. Think of it from her perspective, if your husband or whatever was running around on you and she knew, wouldnt you want her to tell you? In the end it would help her more, because it would cause less pain, and its better to know from a friend than catch him in the act. plus, if she knew you knew in the end, would she ever trust you again? Yes, i know, its hard to tel your friend something as brutal and defying as this, but look at i this way, your really helping her out alot in the end.

  3. mcinthiaw profile image59
    mcinthiawposted 9 years ago

    oh my gos of course wat kind of friend would u be if u dont if she finds out and new dat u new she will feel betrayed u should of told her the second u new

  4. mightywarrior profile image57
    mightywarriorposted 9 years ago

    i think you should tell her before it gets too late ..... and i think no one would believe at first , so i think you should tell her with some kind of proofs like photos.

  5. Kevin Peter profile image66
    Kevin Peterposted 9 years ago

    Yes absolutely, you should. If the matter solved in starting its better and they can continue their relations.

    But if the affair had crossed the Limit then nothing can be happen.

  6. solar.power profile image61
    solar.powerposted 9 years ago

    If My wife was having an affair and my friends knew about it. I would want to know

  7. SpanStar profile image60
    SpanStarposted 9 years ago

    Perhaps a lot of people would disagree with me but I feel everything isn't my business.

    I could tell my friend but then what if they worked it out and now most likely (please spare me the single idea that what happened to me will happen in every situation) at least one of them will always have resentment towards me and stress will always be there whenever the 3 of us are together.

  8. Koka A profile image53
    Koka Aposted 9 years ago

    YESsssss!  Absolutely.  The easy thing to do is nothing.  The right thing to do is the seemingly awkward.

  9. kmartel profile image59
    kmartelposted 9 years ago

    I hope my friend would tell me if I was her.  Yes, and yes, you should.  If you don't, and she finds out later you know, it could ruin your friendship forever.  Don't believe what others tell you, go on your instinct and if she doesn't believe you, well, at least she can't blame you for knowing when she does eventually find out, because she will, only a matter of time!

  10. Datingport profile image59
    Datingportposted 9 years ago

    You should tell her only if you :
    1. Are truly her friend
    2. Can handle the possible loss of that friendship due to telling her the truth.
    3. Can't live with yourself for furthering the lie by knowing about it and not saying anything.
    4. Are not the one he's having affair with.

  11. profile image0
    gulnazahmadposted 9 years ago

    This is unfair that you know it and you are hiding from her I think you should tell her instantly.

  12. padmendra profile image43
    padmendraposted 9 years ago

    No dear, before telling your friend about this, you should ask her husband to refrain from such unwanted things. If he is a  good person, he will listen to you and follow the advice. If you say it to your friend directly, it will spoil their relationship before   doing any remedy. There are other ways of guiding people and best course of action is to tackle it wisely.

  13. profile image0
    iamqweenbeeposted 9 years ago

    I wouldn't! For one...I wouldn't tell my friend anything that will hurt her. For two, its not your business or your place. For three, she might turn on you. For four, some things should be kept to yourself

  14. JillKostow profile image88
    JillKostowposted 9 years ago

    I would tell her.  She may be mad or upset with you in the beginning for telling her, but eventually she could get past it.  If you don't tell her and she finds out that you knew about it, that would most likely put an end to your friendship.

  15. sir_tallest profile image61
    sir_tallestposted 9 years ago

    If you really love your friend more than your friendship,then the best thing to do is tell her and hope it doesn't cost you your her through it........but if you value the friendship more than the friend......don't....she might hate you for it and end a very pleasureable relationship

  16. sid_candid profile image60
    sid_candidposted 8 years ago

    I think you should certainly tell your friend about her husband's affair. This would make or break their relationship which would be good for your friend. But be prepared to even loose your friendship as your friend may get annoyed at you as she may not believe you instantly.

  17. Jay Louidor profile image61
    Jay Louidorposted 8 years ago

    I would only yell my friend because I know if placed in that positioned I would have wanted them to tell me.

  18. Jaymeyaroch profile image61
    Jaymeyarochposted 8 years ago

    You won't look like the bad girl, you will look like the Angel of Death.

    It is not up to you to decide what she needs to know.  If someone is unfaithful, the other ought to know of it.

    My fiance cheated on me after 3 years of being together, and would have married me anyway because I was more "acceptable" to his family than she was.

    I found out after I left him for a different reason, and it made the pain even worse that no one had the courage to tell me, even though I was the only one who didn't know.

    I didn't blame the messenger.  It's a tough decision, but when it was me, I would have wanted to know.

  19. goody7 profile image72
    goody7posted 8 years ago

    The best thing for you to do is mind your own business and not get yourself involved. But it's your choice.

  20. kentuckyslone profile image80
    kentuckysloneposted 8 years ago

    Yes, I think you should absolutely let her know - if you are sure. If you are her friend you will tell her. If you do not tell her then you are not a real friend.

  21. alisle profile image52
    alisleposted 8 years ago

    The truth ALWAY prevails! She will be hurt to find out but will feel good if she knew you were being honest with her, she'd be more hurt if you kept it from her. Just make sure you have evidence!

  22. C.V.Rajan profile image60
    C.V.Rajanposted 8 years ago

    Not if you were the person your friend's husband is having an affair with!

  23. Rusty C. Adore profile image92
    Rusty C. Adoreposted 8 years ago

    I would tell her... only if you have absolute proof. You have to be completely sure that what you are accusing him of is fact and not merely suspicion. An affair can absolutely destroy a marriage. It's true that many couples work through infidelity, but some can't. Another factor to consider is whether this couple has children. If they have a family then this news wouldn't just be destroying a marriage, but an entire family unit.

  24. tysanders profile image60
    tysandersposted 8 years ago

    This is a hard one! I was placed in this situation before and I chose to keep my lips sealed. They are married so I would hate to be the cause of a divorce. Also, it depends on the friend. I am like you and I would definitely want to know and would appreciate the source but many women prefer denial over the truth. You just have to know the person and use good judgment.

    In my situation my friend already knew her man was a cheater because she caught him cheating before and stayed with him. That made me feel as if I should mind my own business and not add more fuel to their fire. You just have to know the friend because each situation is different and all women do not respond the same to hurtful news. Ask yourself, is it worth losing your friendship? Because if girlfriend is not ready to hear what you have to say it could place a major strain on your friendship. Good luck with this one!

  25. smelloftruth profile image60
    smelloftruthposted 8 years ago

    You can use anonymous email to tell her smile

  26. Rockgirl85 profile image61
    Rockgirl85posted 8 years ago

    If you don't tell your friend not only will you feel guilty but feel like you are contributing to his infidelity. You have to be 100 percent sure that he is having an affair, like did you see him kissing another woman on the mouth or seen them go into a hotel or the woman's house together. If you think that your friend won't believe you then let her see for herself, lead her to where these two meet and she will find out herself. I would tell her as a friend the truth but show her proof so that she will believe me.

  27. Variety Writer profile image60
    Variety Writerposted 8 years ago

    Either stay out of it or if you do tell her then tell her anonymously. Send a letter in the mail without your name on it.

  28. JayDee Sterling profile image60
    JayDee Sterlingposted 8 years ago

    Just because you would want to know, doesn't mean your friend would want to know. In situations like that, often it is better  if friends find out on their own, if they haven't already.
    Stay out of it, be prepared to be supportive if this friend comes to you with the information.

  29. mdlawyer profile image37
    mdlawyerposted 8 years ago

    This is a tricky issue affecting relationships.  Handle with care.

  30. Mrs. J. B. profile image61
    Mrs. J. B.posted 8 years ago

    Be very very careful how you approach the subject. Think long and hard before you open your mouth. Also just how good of friends are you? You may want to pick her brain a bit on the topic before you spill the beans or perhaps maybe if you find out where he takes the other woman, show up with your friend. Good Luck

  31. kevin.howell profile image61
    kevin.howellposted 8 years ago

    Absolutely, I would want to know.  I'm sure she would too.  I despise people who cheat.

  32. Darknlovely3436 profile image81
    Darknlovely3436posted 8 years ago

    from past experience it is better to keep your mouth shut or as the famous Harry Belfonte said

  33. Cheesing a Dream profile image60
    Cheesing a Dreamposted 8 years ago

    being good friend means sharing good and bad things...Imagine yourself in this situation...Would you like your friend to tell you the truth or to go behind your back?

  34. ArockDaNinja profile image76
    ArockDaNinjaposted 7 years ago

    I have to know, did you end up telling her or no?!

  35. iloveglee83 profile image60
    iloveglee83posted 7 years ago

    Honestly, you should...if she truly is your friend you will take what your saying into heart and consider that you could be right. I wish I had friends like you around years ago when my fiancee was cheating on me, I had to find out the hard way. My thing is if I would want to know then I'm going to tell my friend. I understand it will be hard and sometimes the turth hurts but it is part of life.

  36. profile image51
    skytreeroadposted 5 years ago

    No. Let her find out the hard way and be there to support her when she does, all surprised and everything, but stay out of it. It will end your friendship, you will never be invited to play with her or mutual friends, or him or his friends or their mutual friends. Yes, it seems important to tell her, but it will be better if someone else slips up or if they hash it out. And do not say you knew it all the time. Just be there and be surprised. And supportive. And not surprised when they stay/get back together. By the way, did you notice that the other girls already know about the cheating? And they are her friends too? Yeah, keep your mouth shut. If you feel like saying something after it comes out, bite your lip until you cry! Let her see your tears and comfort you. Seriously bite your lip.

  37. profile image59
    peter565posted 4 years ago

    Send her photos anonymously and never tell her you are the one whom send it.  And then left it at that, don't say or do anything else.  let them work it out for themselves.


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