me and my girlfriend started of very casuly for 8 months then she told me after

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   jay alexanderposted 8 years ago

   me and my girlfriend started of very casuly for 8 months then she told me after 8 months that she lo
   
   me and my girlfriend started of very casuly for 8 months then she told me after 8 months that she loved me we were serious for a while and broke up several times arguing about the past. we got back after 3 months after i pusued her but it was a chance meeting the way we got back togeather. Things got very seious and she wanted us to have a child after 3 months of trying she was pregnant i wasnt sure if i was ready and after 2 months i said and text some terrible things, she decided to abort the child without seeing me. I begged her not too but she went ahead. How do i ger her back?

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2. 84

   pippapposted 8 years ago

   I understand your pain.  My heart really hurts for you, Jay.
   
   Unfortunately, in our society the woman has the sole choice regarding abortion because the baby grows in her body.  Personally, I have always felt this to be very unfair to the fathers because there are many men, such as yourself, that would be delighted to take the child if the mother doesn't want it.  Many fathers make excellent parents - just because someone is female does not make them a good parent.
   
   However, getting her back is not the answer.  Unfortunately, she has done nothing illegal; and, if you "get her back" you might find yourself in a position to be prosecuted.
   
   As hard as it may seem, you have to walk away from this one.  As heartbreaking as it may, you will only lose if you try to take revenge.  You have learned an invaluable lesson on the law regarding unborn children; and, are in a position now to protect yourself (and children) in the future.  In my humble opinion, the protection for unborn children is woefully inadequate.
   
   In the meantime, some counselling may help you.  Take care!!

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   Silverbondsposted 8 years ago

   If you mean getting her back as relationship you need to be mature and realize that it may not happen. After something so big in a relationship it it is very hard to put a band-aid on something like that. If you mean getting her back for having a abortion legally there is nothing you can do. Remember this though she will always think what if. You have to take your part in it also that being negative towards her showed it was a mistake to bring a child in those kind of conditions. Which may have been the best thing for the situation. It takes more for parenting than playing house, in no way am i trying to be mean only honest to try to help you. By the way she might not have had an abortion if you have not seen her so be sure she did...she may have hid the fact and did not want the negative side to be apart of the childs upbringing so whatever you said in those texts remember to make sure this is not the road she took. If she still is work on getting along and remember life is life and the child deserves the best you can give God bless hope it works out.....

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   kent doyleposted 8 years ago

   Sounds to me likje you two should stay away from each other, if you were meant to be together, everything would have worked out.  To me, it seems like a selfish thing she did.  She made the baby about her and not the baby like it should be.  I was never able to have children, so I don't approve of abortion.  There are plenty of parents that would take a child in.  Besides, once you see your baby, you fall in love, unconditionally for the rest of your life!!

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   jennafawposted 8 years ago

   That's a scar on your relationship with her that may never heal. It mind remind her every once in a while, but that's a tough choice. You can't make her want you back, but all you can do is just talk to her once in a while since she's going through hard times with the baby. Most likely, nothing will happen between you two but time will only tell.

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   dabeanerposted 8 years ago

   Don't try to get her back.  And you are lucky she had an abortion.  Even though you sound like even more of an idiot than she is, you really dodged the bullet there.

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   SportySheekposted 7 years ago

   now this, is a complicated question. not meaning to offend, but does she have any kind of depression or bipolar disorders? a medication could help this. you might want to ask yourself why are you fighting? do you need to fight? is what you two have worth a silly fight? some other options are to show her how sorry you are, or to even attending relashionship counceling.
   sometimes though, its best to let go. chances are, if your relashionship didnt work out the first time, it wont work out the next.

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