my long term partner has cheated on me over and over againbut i do still love him and i cant...
imagine my life without him, when i ask why he says he cheated because of me, is there anything i can do to make myself feel more confident and less needy ?
I can't stand it when a man says his partner is the reason why he cheats. For example, he might say he cheated because she put on some weight etc. He is blaming you, for whatever reason, for his continued cheating - putting you down - and you ask how you can make yourself feel less needy and more confident? It seems very straight forward, you either learn to accept that you are in a relationship with a man who continues to cheat on you over and over again - except this and stay with him - Or you decide to gather the strength to get out of the embarrassing and belittling situation you're in and find a relationship where you can be at ease in your life and not feel so degraded - with someone you trust.
Well, as a rule relationships are touch and go, at best. To the testament of many failed relationships, I've run into a number of people, who really do not understand what a relationship requires to be successful and long lasting. Now- I understand your situation, because I had the same issue with every single girl I've dated. The problem isn't deflection of blame, the problem is a lack of morality. He simply has provided you with the most basic character-check, if there was one, about his true being.
He is just as lost as you are. He cheats on you, not because of you, but because he cannot control his sexual urges. He breaks morality, damaging his character, every time he sleeps with someone else. His actions are morally wrong. IF that doesn't tell you who he is? Then love him for what he is and be done with the complaining. If you are hurt by his action, then you already know it's wrong, yet you LET him put you down, for something he has a problem with. More sex sounds like a solution? But, I am really nobody to say that. However, it's obvious there is something wrong that needs correcting. Unless, you like feeling guilty for some odd reason, but I'll leave you with that thought.
You know the answer to this in your heart. To stay with a cheater not a good idea. You love him--if he loved you the same way, would he hurt you like this over and over again. Step away, it will hurt but eventually you will get over it and find someone who will build you up--not tear you down.
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