Would you give your partner a second chance if they cheated!?

Jump to Last Post 1-13 of 13 discussions (13 posts)
  1. Brett.Tesol profile image57
    Brett.Tesolposted 8 years ago

    Would you give your partner a second chance if they cheated!?

    This is a difficult question for many. Most would like to say NO! But, circumstances and life are very different to ideals. You may have been together for a long time, you could be deeply in love, there could be children involved etc etc.

    If you answer is NO WAY! Why do you feel this way?

    If your answer is YES/MAYBE, how would you personally handle the situation?

  2. BobbiRant profile image59
    BobbiRantposted 8 years ago

    No, because for me, that is a deal breaker.  I'd never, ever trust that person again.  I could never go back to normal after that. I'd always feel not good enough for that person and I think I don't need to be around anyone who made me feel not good about who I am. Good question.

  3. Bhanu.Jas profile image68
    Bhanu.Jasposted 8 years ago

    Yes, because mistakes are made to be done and attimes one is not aware what he or she is doing is thus leading to spoil relationship.But the flow and excitement let that person go in that direction.As noone want to hurt anyone and that to being partner its impossible, So one should look in the eyes of his or her partner and give chance without keeping anything in heart or mind.Forgiveness is a big thing then punishing.

    Bhawana

  4. Mr-Yo LV profile image60
    Mr-Yo LVposted 8 years ago

    My ex cheated on me before.  I forgave her and tried to pick up where we left off, but the thing is, I couldn't trust her anymore.  I find myself asking her the 5 W's more frequently than I did before she had cheated.

    In the end, we still broke up and went separate ways.  The truth is, if one person honestly loves you for who you are, they wouldn't cheat.

  5. nightwork4 profile image61
    nightwork4posted 8 years ago

    no i wouldn't. that's something i would never forgive my wife for.

  6. dashingscorpio profile image85
    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    Absolutely not! Cheating is not only about having sex with someone outside of the relationship. It's about lies, deception, and betrayal. When I love someone I'm passionate, affectionate, considerate, thoughtful, and loving. For my mate to cheat on me after displaying all of the above not just in the beginning of the relationship but throughout....etc I can't imagine what the purpose of a "second chance" would be for.

    I am who I am.
    If that was not enough the first time what is going to be different?
    "Fool me once: Shame on you! Fool me twice: Shame on ME!"

    "Life is a (personal) journey".
    Everyone gets to set up their own "deal breakers"
    Some people "choose" to stay with cheaters, liars, addicts, and abusers. For every circumstance you can imagine there is someone staying in a relationship. Our "deal breakers" don't have to match. There is no "right" or "wrong" there is only what is "right" for the particular individual. Oviously cheating was NOT a "deal breaker" for Hilary Clinton or Jackie Kennedy. (Both of whom had enough money to live weathly independent lives)If you're looking for reasons to stay it's because you don't want to leave.
    It's a mistake to leave if YOU really want to stay.
    I suspect some people end relationships because they don't want others to think of them as being a fool.
    It's probably wise for people in that boat to avoid sharing their problems with anyone. Friends & Family will always tell you to end a "toxic relationship".
    If you know you're not "going anywhere" than stop complaining.

  7. Iannurse profile image59
    Iannurseposted 8 years ago

    90 percent of people will cheat... get over it and perserve the family. throwing away a family for something a small as sex is like burning down your house because a mouse got in... get rid of the mouse and plug the hole!

  8. puddingicecream profile image69
    puddingicecreamposted 8 years ago

    It depends. Usually if there are children involved, perhaps I would have a "domestic partnership" just to raise the kids. But if I were madly in love and my partner cheated, I would definitely not give them a second chance. I don't think I'm capable of loving him anymore because love involves trust. In addition, if he loves you, I don't think he would cheat on you in the first place so by giving him a second chance because you love him, you're accepting the fact that the love you give might not be returned.

  9. KateWest profile image72
    KateWestposted 8 years ago

    I would want to say no, but then there are different circumstances for different people and depending on the level of self-blame plus communication, you might be able to rebuild that trust. No situation is the same and only the two of you would be able to answer that in those precise moments.

  10. SpiffyD profile image82
    SpiffyDposted 8 years ago

    I lean towards "no," because I believe that if there are problems in a relationship, you can dissolve the relationship or work to help it. If it is really not possible to fix them, then end it. It's not always easy to end it coolly, but that's better that seeking "outside assistance" in the form of a lover. Cheating is not just about sex indeed. It really breaks trust and exposes the other partner to things other than a broken heart as well.

    Suppose one partner isn't very careful when having sex and the spouse/partner believe that they were faithful. That's a serious breach of trust. A cheater demonstrates disregard the relationship and the lives of others. It would be nice to look at the motive(s) behind the affair first before making that decision. Perhaps something could be salvaged, but the trust would be damaged permanently. Some cheaters want to be trusted wholly again or treated the same way as before, but that some understanding of what they did is required before a workable solution could be found.

  11. msorensson profile image67
    msorenssonposted 7 years ago

    It is a challenging question as, it is, at least for me, hypothetical. I do not know what I would do if I were placed in that situation. Not now anyway.

    The assumption in this question is that the partner made an indiscretion while he is in a committed relationship with you and is asking for forgiveness. This is the premise by which I would answer the question.

    Did he come to you and told you of the indiscretion or did you find out from someone else? It makes a world of difference.

    If he came to me and told me of it then the first question I would ask is "Do you wish to stay with me?"

    The second question is "Do you think you will be happier if you were free of me/our relationship?"

    To forgive, one must first blame. I have removed blame from my vocabulary so there is no need for forgiveness, on anything.

    I would hope that the person I chose to be with with respects me enough to tell me he is in love with someone else and therefore wants out, in which case, he is free to leave at any time.  I do not wish to limit the freedom of another by insisting that he stays against his will.

    There may be other factors involved as you said, children, parents, pressure from friends, and in this case you will have to consider but you will still have to do what is best for you.

    One happy person and one unhappy person do not make a relationship and it can be continued for the sake of appearances but I would ask myself why. This you will have to discuss wit your partner.

    On the other hand, if it did happen, there is a breakdown in communication somewhere and the indiscretion, is the result, not the cause.

    I am afraid my answer is limited but that is all I can think of at the moment.

  12. ReneeDC1979 profile image58
    ReneeDC1979posted 6 years ago

    This is an easy question to answer Brett. Tesol!  My answer is No and Never! I say if they really loved me there is no need to cheat.  And if you feel the need to cheat, at least tell me first so I can decided whether or not I want to stay in that type of situation.  But, if your desire is to cheat then don't stay in a relationship.

  13. LoisRyan13903 profile image71
    LoisRyan13903posted 6 years ago

    It depends on the situation.  If this was a one time thing yes.  There are many reason why the other would cheat.  I would look at the situation and maybe understand why he would cheat.  Maybe I would be ignoring his need and I might need to change.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)