What should one do when your most loved husband does something beyond imagination to hurt you?
I have recently had a very unpleasant conflict with my husband, which has emotionally drained me completely. I feel like being on the brink of breaking up, very depressed. How to get over it?
I believe the most important thing to think about is whether the situation and the argument is truly worth breaking up over. And then you should think about all the things you love about him and all the things you hate about him and if the hates out weight the loves then I would seriously consider reevaluating the relationship.
Also, ask your husband what are some of his issues with you and if there is a way for you to fix them. Then you should tell him some of the issues you have with him and how he can fix them. Truly listen to each other when you both talk, don't cut each other off. Let both parties fully communicate their feeling and hurts, and don't be so quick to force your point across think about compromise between the both of you over getting your point across. Most often couples are so bent on getting their point across that all it succeeds in doing is only cause a bunch of arguments.
Talk it over with him, give yourself time to accept what he has done and ask yourself if you deserve to continue to be in the relationship with him....then forgive him...not for him but for yourself, forgiving him will allow you to put closure to the incident and allow you to move on, if you don't forgive him it will only continue to drain you emotionally as well as physically. What is done is done and can not be taken back or undone so there is no point in dwelling over something you can not change. Do it for yourself is what has always worked for me.
I am so sorry to hear about your depression.
When we are depressed, we always have self pity and think we got hurt and never have patience to think back whether we did anything to fuel the argument or unconsiously added to the problem.
So, let your mind settle down first. Then recollect the issues. If you feel there is a small percent of mistake is from your side, then don't feel bad to ask a sorry. This may melt your husband and make him to come up with his own sorry or opinions.
Even if not your mistake, you can start with "Sorry that we had a bad conflict" and can try to explain your points in a soft manner, if you value your relationship.
Breaking is always easy, but successful relationship lies in the hands of those who can forgive each other.
People make mistakes, conscious and unintentional, and the end result is generally hurt or pain. Only you can determine if you can live with what he has done. Determine what is most important to you, if it is something you can live with and he understands his responsibility for correction, forgive him and move forward. If it is not, forgive him anyway, thank God that it was not you and do what is best for your dignity and peace of mind.
what amsmoving said is very true about getting the point across very well said.
one thing that I have to say is if your husband did something that has hurt someone else or is in any way no legal then, leave it to the law.....
If he has done something to hurt your feelings and it is a one time event, and out of his normal personality, then maybe something is going on with him that you need to talk to him about. did some recent event hadpened that may have caused this.
The most important part of all of this is you and how you feel about yourself, being depressed is not going to resolve anything, so if you are truly depressed and really thinking about leaving the marriage talk to a counselor, especially if children are involved. figure out a way to help yourself move in a more positive direction. See if your huband will go to counseling with you.
Deal with it, don't sweep it under the rug. If you two don't have the communications skills to talk it out, go to a counselor. Deep hurt takes a long time to heal, just like if you were in a car accident. If your spouse will not go to a counselor, go yourself.
by proud2bamama 5 years ago
How do you tell your husband that you're depressed? Shouldn't he have noticed?
by JALrox 7 years ago
I've been married for 6 years now. I have 2 children. I am married to a man in law enforcement. If anyone is in this situation, you know that the hours can be very long. However, my husband is not on shift work. He chooses to work these hours. In his defense, he explained what his job...
by kimiwalker_11 8 years ago
How do i forgive my husband after he has been mentaly and physically abusive?
by Steven Escareno 2 years ago
Unlike my previous forum topics, this does have a lot to do with me. I just broke up with someone that I cared very deeply for. I can't say why I was the one that decided to end things, but I can tell you that I did have very good reasons to break up with her. I can't tell anyone...
by jessyferari1 17 months ago
How do you forgive yourself for being so naive.He took away my virginity and three weeks later slept with another girl, but tells me I'm his all and it was only sex. I was a virgin till I almost turned 21 and intended to keep it till marriage. I beat myself up everyday for being such a fool and I...
by Carolee Samuda 2 years ago
How do you fix a relationship whose trust has been broken by infidelity?
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|