My wife cheated on me and I dont know if I can forgive her

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (8 posts)
  1. profile image57
    bruce991posted 12 years ago

    My wife cheated on me and I dont know if I can forgive her

    My wife cheated on my with someone she works with I confronted here and she said she would stop well she did not stop and I caught her again... Now she has stopped because I track her every move. I consider my self a nice person and I have average looks. I constantly tell my wife how much I love her and I do my best to take care of all her needs. We have fun in bed and I know I make her cum because she is the type of girl that you know she had fun almost like you know a guy did. What do I do. I'm beside myself and I love her so much this has almost killed me. I have two sons and i'm trying to

  2. prettydarkhorse profile image56
    prettydarkhorseposted 12 years ago

    Well you don't need to follow her around, she will do it if she want to. You have to ask her what is really wrong in your relationship. At one point, you have to ask yourself if you can constantly live by it and you can accept what she is doing, if not then it is time for you to think about yourself.   And don't blame yourself for what happened, even if you do your best, this things happen, and it is not your fault, it just happen.

    I hope she will change. Concentrate with your children and don't stress yourself too much, but you have to work on it the two of you. Give her a chance to prove herself. Healing starts with acceptance. Even the most beautiful, richest and nicest people can have this experience. Good luck!!

  3. dashingscorpio profile image84
    dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

    There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting.
    The fact that you did not file for divorce or walk out on her proves you have forgiven her on some level.

    However you no longer "trust her". There are 6 traits found in every happy relationship and trust is one of those. … phappiness

    It takes a long time to build up trust again after there has been a betrayal. In all honesty it is the person who committed the betrayal that should be doing all they can to reassure the person they've hurt that it will never happen again.
    In other words you should be seeing efforts on her part to bend over backdwards to EARN back Your Trust.
    Instead you state you "caught her again".

    Is she sorry she hurt you? or Is she sorry she got caught?
    Are you trying to forgive someone who is not seeking forgiveness? You mention you have "average looks" as though that may have contributed to your wife cheating on you. If looks were that important to her she never would have married you!

    I suspect the two of you have not come clean about what took place and (why it happened). You may want to try couples therapy to get to the bottom of it. One thing is for sure you can't spend the rest of your life tracking her, reviewing cell phone records, quizing her on her whereabouts, or making her prove she has nothing to hide. Eventually she'll walk away from that type of police state existance.

    As I said earlier it's up to the person who betrayed you to "volunteer" to do whatever it takes to "Earn Your Trust".
    If you are the one making demands that she does it, in my opinion that's an indication she isn't being "proactive" about wanting to heal the relationship. To forgive someone without honest contrition on their part is setting yourself up for future heartaches down the road.

  4. Levertis Steele profile image80
    Levertis Steeleposted 11 years ago

    You cheated on God; should He forgive you? Better yet, have you ever cheated on your wife? Do unto your wife what you want God to do unto you, and accept the consequences. If you can never trust her again, your marriage may gradually go downhill. Pray for healing, both of you.

  5. profile image51
    rocko hunterposted 9 years ago

    Make her feel special. And make her realize that no one in this world can love her as much as u love her. And some times trust her and let her realize that you have forgiven her for everything what she did in her past.

    1. profile image52
      mypoorinuposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      What I think is that, when you decide to marry somebody you are supposed to have that feeling of absolute love and devotion for that somebody where there is never any room for the possibility of playing them down, or letting them down, because, no ma

  6. Harishprasad profile image74
    Harishprasadposted 9 years ago

    Do you know why we are attracted to someone, something or any activity ? If we find some traits in others that we cherish ourselves or that we admire in others, we get attracted to such  guys. We cling to things that we are very fond of ourselves. In the like manner, we like to be engaged in the activities that give us most satisfaction. So keeping these in mind, confront your partner  boldly and extract out the juice of philosophy thriving in her mind.  Ask her in clear words why she is distracted time and again and why she is not enjoying your company with satisfaction and mirth. If she unveils herself and wants some efforts to be needed on your part, try your best to come clean on that front. At the same time, spread out your wings also. Tell her in clear words what you need on her part. Then mutually draft an action plan and fixed a time span for that. Go through it and see the results, tangible as well as abstract like rejuvenation of feelings, jest for life, swelling of affection and love etc. If you attain success even if a little, thanks your stars ! You are going to win the battle. If in spite of all this, status quo remains and coldness continues in your relations, it is but apparent that you are not made for each other and God has other plans for both of you.

  7. padmendra profile image44
    padmendraposted 9 years ago

    It's very painful when someone you love cheats on you.  If you are sure about the matter that your wife deliberately cheated on you, you need to take the help of a mediator who is known to you both to take a decision.. I would suggest not taking any step before you properly listen to your wife. The   relation between wife and husband is very sensitive and thus try to solve the matter with the help of a mediator.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)