How soon after a divorce could you introduce someone new in your life to your ch

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   bellawritter23posted 14 years ago

   How soon after a divorce could you introduce someone new in your life to your children?
   
   

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2. 74

   Dave Harrisposted 14 years ago

   I had better be careful what I say here. My ex-wife had an affair to which end I moved out. She then moved in her new bloke after just 1 month which totally screwed up my son who was only 4 at the time. They then had 2 more children in 2 years which made things even worse. I now have custody of my son and it's taken the best part of 5 years to get him back on the right track. I don't know what the best time frame is, but it sure as hell can't be 1 month! Sorry about the rant

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   bellawritter23posted 14 years ago

   Its totally understandable physically its only been about 8 months since we have been out of the house. Me and my 3 kids. Maybe it is just me that feels this way? I dont know what to think anymore.....

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   JillKostowposted 14 years ago

   I don't think there is any correct set time frame of introducing someone new to your children after a divorce.  But I do feel that you should remember children can become attached to people very quickly or the opposite, if they really do not care for the other person.  In my experience after me and my kids dad split up it was about 9 months after when I met my fiance.  My kids and his son were not introduced to either of us until we knew for certain that our relationship was going to be serious and a long term commitment.  It is hard enough to break up with someone but even harder when kids are involved, for the kids and the adults.  I just always think that you should be sure it will be a steady relationship and then after awhile introduce the kids to each other.  That way you are more prepared to handle the acceptance or rejection your kids might feel towards your new partner.  Relationships are hard but when kids are involved it is alittle harder.  You have to pay close attention to their feelings.  They are losing one parent from the home and then a stranger is taking their place.  Move slowly, and tread lightly.

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   sarascaposted 14 years ago

   It depends on how serious you and the new beau are.  If he's just a rebound fling that you're kicking up your heels with, the answer would be never.  Never introduce a casual partner to your children, unless you plan to do so ONLY as though that person is strictly on the "friend only" level and your children will never see you exchange intimate gestures with each other.
   
   Otherwise, it depends on how old your kids are, how emotionally mature they are, how traumatized they have been from your divorce, whether or not they have a good relationship with their dad, whether or not you (or their father) uses them as pawns in a "tit for tat" game of spite against each other....and the list goes on.
   
   Your ONLY priority should be to your children, first and foremost.  If you are playing hide the sausage with another man and contemplating bringing him into your children's lives, it should be YOUR CHILDREN that determine when they are ready to meet a new "uncle."

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   womenintouchposted 14 years ago

   You must be careful when introducing your children to people you meet. Take some time to get to know the individual before you let them into your childrens life. Children do not need someone comeing and going, they need stability. YOu need to give yourself some time to get over the last person as well as the children.
   Take time to spend with your kids and let them know how important they are before jumping into a new relationship.  If their parent whom you divorced is still a part of their lfie they do not need a replacement. Take the time to see if this person is worthy of meeting your kids,  sit down and talk with your children and see what they think after all they will be apart of what ever decision you make; their opinion counts.

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