should I forgive the S.O.B or leave him in the rain?
Someone hurt me in the deepest and most emotional way and is now crawling back to me. He broke my heart so badly that I was never the same person again.
Listen to what he has to say if it makes you feel better - since he hurt you so badly - it could be a good thing to hear how sorry he is. Then leave him in the rain. Don't chance history repeating itself with this guy he's already put you through enough.
This is a tough one, no doubt. I have been on the other end from where you are standing. I hurt someone terribly, someone I love with all my heart. I hurt her like you've been hurt.
In my case, I was unaware of issues I had, issues that made me go looking for happiness somewhere else rather than inside me. So I cheated on her, and so on.
I have asked her to take me back. I have asked her for the chance to EARN her trust again. She still loved me, through all of it, but did not trust me at all. She could no longer trust me not to do it again, not to destroy her life all over again.
We have been together over 5 years now, since I cheated and ruined her life. It gets better all the time. Yes, there are still days when I think she would have been better off forgetting me, and she has those days too, knowing it would have been so much easier to forget about me.
But love is a strange and awesome and tortuous thing. So we are still together. Simply put though, you can look at it this way... if you say no, and put him behind you, you won't have a chance to rebuild whatever you had before. If you give him another chance, ASSUMING he really puts in the work to fix his issues, and that you are also willing to WORK on it, then you have that chance to rebuild, but you can always end it later.
Yeah, not that simple, but that's one way to look at it. I wish you luck either way. I will say this... if he's not willing to work through whatever issues made him hurt you, and if you are not willing to work through all the trust issues that will be present from now on (or whatever issues other than trust), then walk away now and start healing.
you answered your own question. if someone hurt you that bad then sure you can forgive them but don't give them another chance to hurt you again.
leave him in the snow, the rain is being nice. Let the snow freeze some sense into his head so he wont do it to the next person he gets into a "relationship" with. You can forgive him from a distance if that is something that you want to do, but I never respect or give people like this the "benefit" of the doubt because once you cross that line and intentionally hurt you they don't deserve the person they hurt neither whatever they have to offer
Trust your instincts, listen to your heart. Hold yourself in the highest regard and if your higher self is dishonored by this individual, stay away ... leave him in the rain so that you can stand in the sunshine.
It is always better to forgive. Whether you give the person another chance is a different matter. Just because you forgive someone for their wrongdoings does not mean that you have to interact with them.
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