Should I say something...?
So I'm currently in a long distance relationship and I've been with my girlfriend for going on two years. Recently she has been contributing nude photos to an online art gallery where thousands of people can see. i was very happy for her because she seemed excited from all the comments she was getting. But now I'm a little edgy because she seems to be going overboard and has posted over fifty nude photos of herself. She even takes time away from us so she can finish her shoots. I don't want to be the guy that rains on her parade, but it's starting to bug me. Any suggestions?
This seems to be a big part of who she is, her interests, to do the posing (no judgement btw I think it's kinda cool). So you need to sit down and think before broaching the subject - and gently mention to her that it's making you feel uncomfortable. Realistically what do you expect as the outcome, I doubt that she would stop and if she did would it be not intrinsic to her and make her unhappy because it is, after all, what she really wants. You might need to learn to accept it or move on, maybe a good compromise would be maybe posting less pictures online.
This is certainly a tough situation for you. I am not entirely clear what aspect of this is making you feel edgy ( apart from the obvious- but then one shouldn't assume!) - If your girlfriend is proud of her body and seems to enjoy what she feels is art are you happy for her? - you seemed to hint that you are more upset now that the numbers have gone up and that she is pursuing this at the expense of time spent with you- If this is a project that she is keen to contribute to and seems to dedicate herself to, you could support her and compliment her on her success and then broach the subject of the less time you seem to be spending together.if you have no moral objection to displaying nudity. However if your objection is to the nudity itself- you need to discuss this with her... Hope this helps somewhat..
Looks like you suddenly took a dislike to what you enjoyed at first.. so it has become an annoyance. ask yourself will you be comfortable when you walk with her and your friends see you together and you are wondering what they are thinking about........ values play a huge part in relationships... so you need to feel comfortable with what both of you are doing .. discuss it with her tell her how you feel and take it from there ..
In the end it is about adjustments and compromise, how both of you will adjust with the things that you do everyday..
I hope it helped...
Yes. Just say you're realising you are not feeling comfortable about it. I agree with what you said - Posting 50 nude photos of herself is over the top and it is most likely to make anyone in your situation feel edgy about it.
You can't rain on her parade, she is her own person and has a life of her own to live. Two things can happen, you can let her live her life, (once she doesn't disrespect you) or you can leave her for whatever reason you are having issues. She's bound to leave you if you show out. Maybe this is good because you are seeing who she is.
Without knowing all there is to know, I couldn't suggest anything other than setting some time aside with your girlfriend and talk about things between you both.
If that don't work, you both could try Couples Counselling ?
She sounds a bit psycho to me. Do you know any of her friends? If you were my child, I would try to get you to dump her...but I don't know you so I can't say anything.
If she is like this now, what things about her are going to come up in 5 years? I think it's a freaking strange thing for a normal girl to do...though she could be amazingly insecure.
Definitely, tell her that you are not happy with it. I would be p*ssed if one of my daughter's did something like that. It's just weird.
I'm sorry, maybe I'm just old school. I wouldn't compliment her on it. I would remain really cool and level-headed and just let her know that it upsets you. If she does it anyway when she knows that it upsets you, I would rethink the relationship and possibly find another girlfriend.
If you are at the point where you need couple's counselling and you aren't even married or living together, she is the wrong wrong wrong girl for you. Why don't you ask your mother what you should do. If you are afraid to tell your mother, what would you tell your future children?
You are right Butch, I have low self esteem. I do suffer from depression so you're wrong when you say I like it, but i guess it's something I'm going to have to figure out on my own. I just wanted some advice on the situation at hand, not my personal problems, but you're probably right. Thanks for the input nonetheless.
If it is bugging you, it will just get worst.. so say something! She must be very beautiful and proud of her body but, yes there is always a but, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when you rain on her parade. Posting nude photos of oneself in public forums is definitely calling for attention.. and got that from all the comments she is receiving. Is she getting paid for these nude photos? Just curious. You must be a very open-minded guy to let your girlfriend post nude pictures of herself for all the world to see. It might be good now for her, but it might bite her in the future. Good luck!
If your own moral standing and stature, principles of public probity, the principled things on what to do and not to do in your personal value system are all far better than hers, then it is something to be bugged.
You were in a long distance relationship, going on for 2 years. What was your motive? Marriage? Time pass through Internet? Thrill of uncommitted voyeurism? Come on.
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