How did you tell your parents you are moving in together (with significant other

1. 59

   Becky532posted 14 years ago

   How did you tell your parents you are moving in together (with significant other)?
   
   I am thinking of moving in with my boyfriend.  Wondering how my parents will react. They are not super conservative, but probably won't be thrilled I am shacking up!  Any advice?

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2. 63

   bayareagreatthingposted 14 years ago

   I once watched a talk show where a famous actor was being interviewed. The host asked her how things were and she excitedly talked about being pregnant with her first child. The talk show host congratulated her, and then asked about the house she and her boyfriend had just bought.
   
   For the next several minutes they both chatted about how great the new house was and how excited she and this actor's boyfriend were to have a baby. The talk show host then asked her, "So are there any wedding bells in your future?" To that the actor replied in a surprised tone, "Oh no! We're not that serious yet."
   
   I am only curious about how "significant" others are when people are willing to have children, buy property, sign long term leases, share bills, sex, germs, holidays, vacations, household chores...but not make a full commitment to the relationship in the long term.
   
   I suppose my advice would be to ask yourself "why"? Why invest this much energy, emotion, time, money, and intertwining of your life if there is no commitment to the long term.
   
   Just curious.

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3. 59

   Becky532posted 14 years ago

   bayareagreatthing - You have a lot of great points, thanks for your input.
   
   I take moving in seriously, and although I am not married, I am still very committed! I think sharing germs and having children are two different things, and all should be discussed separately. 
   
   Everyone is different, I am okay with moving in, but would never buy property or have kids before marriage.  To each their own!

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4. 61

   JayDee Sterlingposted 14 years ago

   One should never buy a car that hasn't been taken for a test drive.

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5. 82

   I Am Rosaposted 13 years ago

   First, please don't devalue your relationship by calling it "shacking up".
   
   ** Commitments are a matter of personal integrity, NOT legal documents or religious approval **
   
   Before man invented religion, couples decided to move in together based on specific criteria (shared values, benefits to family, parental approval of the SO, etc.)  and sealed the decision with a simple commitment ceremony (if that) or acknowledgement to each other ... They also lived with their folks until that point which is why the parents were involved in any way.
   
   I'm under the impression that you're a grown woman who has been living her own life for at least a few years.  In this case, I'm confused as to why you're worried about how other people (even your parents) will react.  They can pitch a fit all they want or give you the cold shoulder or whatever negative reaction you're worried about, but it's not your responsibility.  You are only responsible for making an ** informed and thoughtful decision ** on what you want to do with you life path.
   
   So long as you are not harming others, breaking laws or invalidating others, people are *not* allowed to invalidate you, make you feel guilty or bad, or pass judgement on your lifestyle simply because they don't agree.
   
   Got it?  :-)

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